Fear

Chapter Two

Recap:

I ran up to my house to see someone across the yard moving in. I looked closely at them and they looked familiar. I almost squealed in delight when I saw who the woman was. Jasmine Conrad. She played Soccer in college and she was my idol. Tyson was going to take me to her book signing before but I guess something popped up. I ignored all impulses to run to her as I turned and Jogged on my porch. I took one lingering glance at the house when I saw him. I saw Tyson. I didn't even notice my feet were moving until I was approaching the foot of their grass.

"Tyson." I called barely above a whisper. He didn't even spare a glance as he ran to a car of waving girls and sped off leaving me with a new depth of disappointment.My worst fear came true. He lied. He didn't really love me. He never did.

                                                                                                                            Getting Reacquainted

I walked into school the next Monday different. Don't you know when you go through a break up and you throw away all reminder of that person and toss it into a fire? You burn all pictures with them, burn their gifts and throw away all of their clothes? I deleted my hurt self. I broke up with the depressed Payson that loved Tyson because Newsflash Tyson gave zero fucks about me. I threw away all of my depressed hoodies and black emo wear. I threw away my depressing Sleeping with Sirens (I shed more tears seeing them go into the garbage than anything). I threw away of my paintings that I did while I was depressed and I went shopping. I bought new easels, new brushes, new pencils, new sketchpads, new music, new clothes, I bought a new me.

Actually I exchanged myself for the old Payson. The PayDay that had friends and loved life. I walked into my first hour and walked behind Josh. I tapped his shoulder nervously but plastered a small smile as he turned around. He looked at me in shock.

"Uh what's up?" he asked glancing at a pissed off Heather that was sitting next to him. I ignored her presence and simply told him the truth.

 "I miss you, and I want to talk."

His eyeballs nearly popped out of his sockets as he stood and tugged on my arm. He pulled me into a hug before I could even speak. When he withdrew he glared at me. "If I wasn't your best friend, I would tell you to go fuck yourself but obviously you have had a change of heart."

I nodded waiting for him finish talking but he was looking at me expectantly. "So what changed your mind?" he asked finally.

I swallowed and looked at him without blinking an eye. "I saw Tyson, with a bunch of hoes, having fun."

He looked confused. "You saw our Tyson?"

"What other Tyson?" I asked laughing.

"That's impossible." he said shaking his head.

"How?" I pushed. "I saw him helping Jasmine Conrad move in across the street."

"Across the street from your house?" he asked interested.

I nodded my head and frowned when I saw a sly smile stretch across his face. "Then we have to see this Tyson you speak of."

 So here we are in my room. Him staring out of the window and me pacing back and forth reminding him that this is a bad idea. I literally just deleted him from life days ago. I don't want to talk to him. What is there to discuss? He lied to me for a year!

"Just wait." he mumbled ignoring my rambling.

"Wait for what?" I asked in outrage.

"You're going to see him and forget all this nonsense. You two love each other."

I shook my head. "Oh no. I'm done with him." I vowed.

"Oh shut up Payson." he said laughing at me. I hated when people laughed at make especially when I'm being serious. It's a for sure way to piss me off. I ignored all impulses to punch him as I sat in the wheel chair neighboring his own and stared at the window.

"I felt my heart break over and over for him.When I found out that he was missing and when I saw him yesterday. I couldn't even cry.I have never been so hurt that tears couldn't even form in my eyes." I voiced randomly. "I'm tired of hurting and waiting. I want to live. I don't want to be watched like I'm a patient by the shrink that comes by once a week, or by Mrs.Rogers who keeps her eye put and comes by every night with food and kind words of encouragements."

"I just want to live and be free."

Josh looked at me with an readable expression then suddenly we heard a door shut. His excitement turned to anger as he grabbed my hand and led me across the yard to face him.

"Tys-

His words were cut off my the person turning around and showing us his face. I almost audibly gasped. He...he wasn't Tyson. He looked just like him.

"Who are you?" I asked gasping.

"Tyler." he said smiling confused. He let out a hand for me to shake and I looked at it in horror. I realized how rude I was being and I accepted it.

"You just look very familiar. I thought you were someone I knew." I shook my head trying to rid myself of the jumbled thoughts. How the hell can he look so much like Tyson? They have similar names too. I tried to convince myself that it was just a coincident but I'm not stupid. This guy just gave me another clue to finding out where Tyson is. I smiled kindly at him and shook his hand.

"I'm Payson." I said flashing him the most genuine smile I could muster just hoping that it didn't look like a scowl.