Phan- You and Me (completed)

Chapter 4: My huminilating secrets

Phil's POV

"This little piggy went to market, This little piggy stayed home, This little piggy had jam and bread,
This little piggy had none..." Dan sang smiling as he wiggled my nieces little toes. The baby girl giggled delighted. I took a deep breath of the sweet Autumn air. It had been a beautiful day so far.Dan had been happy, laughed and chatted all the way through breakfast. It was like the whole misery did never happen. I'm a smart man, I know that beauty is only skin deep, but I couldn't care less.We deserved a break from being tense and mad and awkward around eachother. Nothing could belittle this afternoon. Nothing except for -"Hello, beautiful"

This. The thunderstorm of my parade leant against the backrest of the wing chair in which Dan played with my niece. And to top it all, all that this thunderstorm wore were loose sweatpants! Dan looked up, giving Jace an open smile. Call me whatever you want ("Weirdo?", my inner voice suggested),but it didn't like his action. I believe that this smile should begiven to people who deserve it. Not to Jace. I gave my all to get this smile and he received it after blatantly obvious advances!

"I'm going to go out for a jog in the forest and wonder if you'd like to join me" Dan swallowed a little embarrassed. "I'm kinda out of shape..." Jace laughed, scratching his ponytail and displayedhis toned muscles in the process. "Don't worry, I'll get you into shape" My cousins actions were successful, as Dan eyed his six-pack impressed. "Uhm...I guess...?" He was searching for my gaze, but I looked away. It might be childish ("Nooooyou're a grown up man, remember, you're never ever childish. Those stuffed animals are manly" my inner voice sang) but I didn'twant to deal with this. I could only loose! If he stays of if he leaves, I'm always the one who drew the shortest straw. Who am I to tell Dan what he could or couldn't do? He would probably get angry anyway. The last thing I wanted to do was to raise a "Phil sucks" mood again. "Sure" I heard my best friend answer. I wanted to protest but stayed silent. "You stay with uncle Phil, Mary cakes", Dan cooed as he gave Mary a nose kiss and placed her on my lap.

"You should try some sports sometime,too, Philly!" Shut up, shut up, shut up! "After all, this body isn't formed by chocolate! See ya" He laughed loud and disappeared with Dan. Jace always seemed to know exactly where to aim. This talent developed in an early age. No matter if it was the maths test I sucked at, the lack of friends, the social awkwardness or my appearance- bull's eye shot in black. I'm normally not insecure. I just have my issues like all humans do. And I have my doubts, for I am not perfect and I'm fully aware of this. If I can laugh at myself, everything's fine really. I just can't stand this constant picking. Like, I know I'm not sporty, but I accept myself this way. But he manages to make me insecure. Even now, as 18 years have passed, I still feel like the little 10 years old boy who-"Gnaaaah" Mary made an impatient noise. She didn't careabout my thoughts, she wanted some attention. "Alright, Miss"I sighed with a small smile, as she tugged my fringe and tried to grab my glasses.

Being the productive YouTuber I was, I decided to film a little Follow me around featuring Mary. "Lucaaaaasssss?Can I borrow your daughter for an hour or two?"  "Sure, but if you break her, you owe me a new one!"  "Excuse me!" That was Jane. I laughed a little. I got my camera and took a deep breath. As soon as the little red light showed me that I wasrecording my mood brightened up. "Hey guys!"

By the time the sun set I was almost finished editing my video. I was quite proud of Mary (The camera adored her!) for adding a plus ten thousand on my cuteness account. I was so into my work, that I didn't notice the footsteps until he walked right past my door. I stopped in my tracks and listened (which was hard for a nearly deaf person like me). Mumbling and a light laugh. MY laugh. The "Dan finds it amusing that Phil is such a dork"- laugh. That's what it was andwhat it should be! Not the "Jace you're so funny"- laugh! I got myself ready to blend into conversations where I wasn't welcome,as Dan opened the door, running directly into me.