All my life I waited for this day to come. I dreamed about since I was five years old,now here I am; the day of. Dreaming of this moment I always imagined the perfect dress, the flowers, my bridesmaids, my groom, but one thing I wanted the most was for my father to walk me down the aisle. I envisioned us walking side by side as the train of my dress flowed behind me like a lazy river. At the alter he would pull back my veil revealing the tears streaming down his face as he gave away his most prized possession to this man that he must now trust to love and cherish it forever.
"And to whom gives this woman to this man?"
"I Do." He would respond in a crackling voice.
What a dream right? Well sad to say this part of my dream wedding may never come true.
In the last twenty-seven years I can count on my fingers how many times I've seen my father. I've went birthdays, holidays, graduations; I've went through the most important times of my life without my father. This has built so much resentment in my heart. So when my father found out I was getting married he came to me and asked to be apart of my wedding and of course that resentment allowed me to say no to that idea, and go as far as to disinvite him to my special day. My mother and fiancé begged me to see past all the mistakes he has made and allow him to be apart of this journey. I reached out to my father hoping to get an explanation and apology for all the years he's missed out on but instead I received more excuses and more lies. At this point I'm fed up and completely finished with the idea of my father. My dream wedding shall continue but with missing that major detail.
As I sit in the back of this church alone, thinking of everything that I've done in life that lead up to this moment, I don't regret it. Honestly I believe him being absentee made me the woman that I am today. It allowed me to be stronger, independent, and brave. It allowed me to actually love someone for who they are and not what they are able to provide for me. As much as I may resent my father for all of the pain he has caused me his lack of presence drove me to excellence. I always wanted to prove to him what I can be without the help of a father - That I don't need him to be great; and that's what I did. Sometimes I think about how different my life would be with him and then I realized what I am without him. Thinking of these things allowed the anger that I had built up over the years to go out the window; It felt good to forgive.
The sound of my phone ringing awoke me from my dream. I looked at my phone and saw that it was an unsaved number , however I recognized it. "Hello" I answered sitting up in my bed. "Eva, Hey. Its Angel." She said through alot of noise. "Oh Angel, Hey."
"Well I was calling because I brought the girls out tonight and I just wanted to invite the kids and you."
"Just your girls?"
"No. My girls and all of my nieces."
"Thanks Angel, but I don't know."
"Eva please. I miss you and it's time for everyone to meet. How much longer are you really going to allow Armani to go without her sisters in her life?"
I sighed she was right. "Text me the address."
I rolled out of bed and got myself then the kids ready. I drove over to the address Angel sent me. "Really Mom?" Justin asked.
I laughed. "Aye, If mama gotta go so do you."
We got out of the car and went into Monkey Joes because I Really didn't want to be here I invited Chris to bring Royalty; At least I'll have someone to talk to.
We walked inside and I spotted August holding one little girl while talking to the other. I grabbed Armani's hand and walked over towards August.
"Hey." I said making him turn around.
His face lit up once he saw Armani on my hand. "Hey." He put down the girl and grabbed Armani hugging her. I took a few steps back allowing him to introduce them.
"Pug..." A Nickname he gave Armani when she was a baby because of her puppy dog eyes.
"These are your little sisters Heaven and Nevaeh.. Girls this is your sister Armani. Remember daddy told you about her."
