You know that feeling. The feeling when it's the day after you just broke down and you feel fresh and stable and new..
Then something happens that upsets you. So you put up your protective shield and block it.
You do that for weeks, months maybe.
And one day you're sitting in class. Then it all starts coming up from your stomach. You have no idea what to do because how does one protect themselves from themselves?
You begin to shut down. You begin to tremble. You go to your friend who is better family to you then your actual family. They start loosing it too.
So you just shut down completely. You ignore the pain. You know it's not bad enough to make you cry because you've made yourself almost immune to crying. But it feels like your crying, just without the tears and the sounds. Without the stuffy nose and locking yourself in your room.
You play it cool. You smile. But you feel yourself leaving your body even though your mind stays. You feel it just vanish. While it whispers "I can't watch this. Not again. Not anymore."
And just like smoke in the wind.
It's gone.
You're left alone. Sitting there in math class. Hoping it'll come back because it feels worthless to protect yourself when you're not even there.
You watch the teacher as you feel the pain coursing through your body. You soak up all the pain hoping that it'll be enough to get rid of the irresistible urge to slice open some part of your body, because your mom saw it the other day and yelled at you...
So now you just look for anything that will hurt you and invite the pain in.
Your body came back to a wrecked brain.
"What have you done to me?"
It whispered before climbing back inside.
"What did you do?"
YOU ARE READING
Broken Wings
Poetry'For someone so small you're pretty strong. For someone so brave you're pretty shy. For someone so observant you're pretty abnormal.' For someone like me it's pretty hard to decide who I wanna be or where I want to fit in. So this isn't exactly poet...
