So You're Leaving?

Gone

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long I'm movin' on I've lived in this place and I know all the faces Each one is different but they're always the same They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it They'll never allow me to change But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong I'm movin' on At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone There comes a time in everyone's life When all you can see are the years passing by And I have made up my mind that those days are gone I'm movin' on
...
"Johnny!" he heard someone call almost the minute he stepped off the train. "Johnny, over here!" Matt was waving from behind a crowd of people, trying to politely push his way through. Johnny hadn't seen him in about six years, but he recognized him immediately. It was like looking in a mirror, only he'd never seen Matt's expression on his own face before. Matt was happy and calm and seemingly ready to take on the world. He was taller than Johnny, older, more muscular, but aside from that, the two boys looked very similar, especially their eyes. Matt had big, gentle brown eyes and dark lashes. His eyes were not nearly as dark as Johnny's, but something about them looked the same. When Matt finally reached him, he grabbed Johnny in a bear hug. "How have you been, kid?" "Fine,"Johnny was surprised to hear how timid and soft his own voice sounded as compared to Matt's. "C'mon, the car's around back. Mom's making a big dinner for you. Wow, it's great to see you!" Matt rambled on and on about the farm, his parents, how everyone was so excited that Johnny was coming. Johnny's stomach churned. A big dinner, a bunch of people... what was he doing? He wanted to go home. This was too much, too fast. He tried to steady his breathing and focus on what Matt was saying. He followed him out of the train station and into the street. He stopped as Matt went over and unlocked the door of a little blue corvette convertible. Johnny's jaw dropped. "Is that yours?" he asked, a little bit of the panic subsided as he stared at the car. Matt laughed. "Naw, it's Uncle Will's. Well, his and my dad's. They were having a mid-life or something. 'Course Will's only in his early 30's, so I don't know if he can really call it that. Anyhow, they said I should 'pick you up in style!' My car is nothing like this." Johnny put his bag on the floor and sat down in the car. He stared at the interior. Never in his life had he ever dreamed that he would ride in a car like this. Matt started it up and looked over at Johnny. He paused for a minute. "What's wrong?" "Huh? N-nothing. This is a tuff car..." Matt grinned. "You wanna drive?" Johnny stared at him. He shook his head. "No way." "Oh, C'mon, Will won't mind! Go ahead. Do you have your license?" Johnny reddened and looked at his shoes. "No." "Ah... well, we'll have to change that! Then you can take this baby all over the place!" "Really?" "Sure! It's kind of the family car. Even Grandma has driven it around a few times!" The family car was a convertible corvette. Johnny couldn't wait to write to Steve. But at the thought of one of the gang, his stomach turned again. He was completely out of his element here. He didn't even look right. His clothes weren't at all new, his hair, which was fine for back home, was very out of place here. The whole way to the house, Johnny said very little. Matt remembered how quiet he was so he did the talking. He was good at putting people at ease...usually. He had a kind spirit and a genuine concern for any one who needed help. It had made him a wonderful veterinarian at a fairly young age. But this situation was a little different. Johnny was really on edge and it would proably take some doing to calm him down. Matt noticed that he was hiding if fairly well, though. Years on the streets had taught Johnny how to wear a mask of indifference. He had learned to put up a facade of cool aloofness. But his eyes were an open book, which probably did him no good on the streets of Tulsa. After a little while, Matt paused and cleared his throat as though he wanted to say something but didn't quite know how. "Now, Johnny, uh..." Johnny didn't like the how the tone had changed. "Grandma... she's been fighting me on this since the beginning of last week... She thinks you should stay at Mom and Dad's instead of with me..." "Why?" Johnny asked nervously. "Well, she wants you to go to school." Johnny didn't say anything. "And since I live too far for you to walk from my place...Look, you could still work with me at the office after school, and maybe when we get you a license, you could get a car and drive to school from my place... I'm sorry Johnny, I should have told you, but I thought I could talk her out of it." Matt looked over at Johnny nervously. "Hey, c'mon, kid. I'll keep at her. And you know what? If they just won't give in. I'll stay there for a few weeks till you feel at home. Believe me, it won't take long. Mom is SO excited that you're coming." Johnny just stared out the window. The air was fresh and cool. They passed pasture after pasture of horses, split rail fences, corn and grain. Old brick houses and ancient oak trees that had witnessed the Civil War seemed to stare back at him, ready to tell him stories that he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams. He thought about Ponyboy and how much he would have loved to see this place. It was the kind of place he had always talked about... the country. Johnny's heart ached. He missed the gang. And he was scared. He asked himself again, was it worth it? He had gone from a place he was afraid to another place he was afraid, only now he was alone. The beautiful scenery could not ease his fears. What have I done... he asked himself for the millionth time. And what was he going to do when they all found out that he had lied? They all thought his parents had sent him. They had no idea that he had run away.