So You're Leaving?

confession

They looked at eachother for a moment. Both of them dead set in their stubborness, both of them forces to be reckoned with. And both of them trying to protect the same person from two different sides. "Robert Cade is not Johnny's father, is he?" Grandma Cade's expression did not change. "No, Dallas, I don't belive he is." "Who is?" Dally asked, his jaw set in determination, his tone leaving no question that he meant business. Grandma Cade was unshaken. She sighed and stepped into the room. Dally watched her turn a few pages of the photo album on the bed. "This may be difficult, but you must keep this to yourself for the time being, Dallas." "Are you kidding? No way! Either you tell Johnny right now, or I will!" he threatened. "There is too much you do not yet understand," she said, looking at him with her peircing blue eyes. Grandma Cade could be just as demanding as Dally and somehow, twice as convincing, even in the midst of her calm demeanor. The woman had been through a lot. Dally didn't know how he knew this, he could just sense it, as though she were in someways a kindred spirit to him. She had been to hell and back and come out swinging. She had a strength about her that he respected, and a quiet sense of mystery. And Dally knew she loved Johnny. Somewhere inside he knew that whatever reason she had for keeping this a secret, it must be a good one. But he wanted her to know how angry he was at her. He wanted her to know that he cared about Johnny too and he wasn't going to stand by while she kept secrets from him. "I don't really give a damn about what I don't understand! I will tell him." "I don't doubt that. But you should know the rest of the story before you make that decision." Grandma Cade continued calmly as she sat down on a chair beside the fireplace. "Sit down, Dallas," she invited, motioning to the arm chair across from her. Dally just glared at her. "Very well." she said, unmoved by his visible anger. "Your legs are about to get very tired." Dally continued to glare at her as he slumpped into the arm chair. "This better be good." "As you are already aware, Charles Hamilton was my first husband. I married young and foolishly... for reasons that..." she hesitated and her face reddened slightly. "... reasons I would rather not discuss, but I feel there is no way for you to fully comprehend the gravity of this situation with out all details. Charles and I began seeing eachother when I was in my late teen years. At first things were fine, but after a short time, I began to realize he was not the person I thought him to be. Over time I came to realize he was nothing short of brutal, vicious." Just like Johnny's father, Dally thought. The family link is pretty clear up to this point... "I tried to stop seeing him, but he wouldn't have it. One night, things... spun out of control. Robert Hamilton Cade, the man Johnny knows as his father, was the child of...rape. I will not mince words. I agreed to marry Charles when I discovered I was carrying his child. I thought he would change... I thought-" she waved her hand as though she had gotten off topic. "That is of no consequence now. Robert was born and things remained the same. Or got worse. I was preparing to leave Charles, but our salvation came the day that he went to war and never returned home. But for Robert, it was too late. Or perhaps, being the child of a monster, he never had a chance. Charles was horribly abusive to him, but I blame myself in some ways for how Robert turned out. In the back of my mind, I always saw him as a manefestation of Charles' violence. I loved the child, make no mistake about that. But perhaps he could sense my other feelings. I don't know." Dally was a little surprised to hear Grandma Cade talk that way about her own kid, even if he was a complete waste of air. So... Johnny's father had been that kind of person all his life, Dally thought. Johnny never had a chance. "I tried everything, but he was a very angry child. He was as vicious as his father had been. And then I met Michael Cade. To spare you unncecessary details, we met, fell in love and married. Robert hated him. And me. But there was never a day when Michael was unkind to him. Then the other children were born. Wendy and then William. There was always a bit of rivalry between the children, particularly between Robert and Will. As they grew, it intensified. "Then Robert met Maria. She was a stunning woman. Timid, but kind. The type of woman who would unfortunately be drawn to someone like Robert." Dally was really surprised to hear anyone refer to Johnny's mother as stunning. To him she was an ugly, hateful hag. "They moved into the carriage house, much against Michael's and my wishes as they were unmarried at the time. Robert of course treated her poorly. That's putting it mildly. Within a year, Maria was pregnant. They married before the child was born. Around this time, Wendy gave birth to Matthew. Maria had little interest in her own child when he was finally born and it was Wendy who practically raised the boy- and Matthew at the same time. It was 5 years before Robert discovred that Maria's wasn't his. Maria told him in a heated arguement. And then told everyone else." Grandma Cade watched Dally closely to see if he was putting anything together yet. Dally thought carefully for a moment. His anger began to disapate as the gravity of the situation began to sink in. "Was it Christopher? The boy that drowned in the river?" "It was. Christopher... The boy that drowned in the river." Grandma Cade's voice became so sad that Dally thought she might cry. But she didn't. She mustered her composure and prepared to continue with the story. "It wasn't an accident, was it?" Dally asked, suddenly growing more concerned than angry. She looked at him with haunted eyes. "I don't believe it was. But there was no evidence proving otherwise. Maria was terribly upset. But the person the most devastated by it was Wendy. She loved that child. Felt sorry for him, I imagine. And she knew as well as everyone else it was no accident. And this nearly killed her. She had to see a doctor, she got so sick over it. And now she has pretty much blocked it from her memory. If she allowed herself to think about things more, she'd have figured this out long ago. But she doesn't. She was just so scared when Johnny came along... she didn't want this to happen to another child Fortunately, Matthew was too young to understand all of what went on." Dally was silent for a moment. Then he voice the concern that was forming in th epit of his stomach. "This could happen to Johnny... if anyone finds out he's not Robert's kid..." "I believe it could. Dallas, I know that you have believed from the day you met me that I do not care for Johnny. Please let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. If I thought I could have brought him here and kept him safe on the day he was born, I'd have gone to Tulsa and kidnapped him myself. But in the back of my mind, I knew that bringing him here could cost him his life. Even now, I was very much opposed to Wendy and Matthew coaxing him here. He is not legally an adult. We have no legal rights to him, we have no legal recourse if Robert comes for him!" Dally looked at her for a long time. He was ready now to tell her what he thought. He had little doubt left that he was wrong about this. "He's Will's, isn't he?" Grandma Cade nodded. "When Christopher was killed, Maria turned to Will. I knew no good would come of that. I told Will as much, but he was young... he just wouldn't listen. Well, When Robert discovered that Maria was getting close to Will, he nearly killed Will and Maria both. He packed up his things and dragged Maria off to Tulsa. About nine months later, Johnny was born." "And Robert doesn't know that Johnny's not his?" "From what I have heard, I doubt he even cares enough to wonder. I think there has been nothing to make him belive otherwise. Or, if he does know, he is content as long as he believes he is the only one who is aware of it. My concern right now is that if Robert finds out where he is, he will come after him. Johnny is 16. Robert has legal right to take him." "Not if his mother fesses up!" "And what would happen in the mean time? While the states fill out all their necessary paper work?" Dally felt his stomach turn. "But why would he bother coming after Johnny? You said yourself, he doesn't care! I've seen him! He doesn't give a hang about that kid except to take out his frustrations on him." "You do not understand the extent of his anger, Dallas." Dally's eyebrows shot up. "I don't understand the extent of his anger?" his voice rising again. "Do you know what went on in that house? Do you know what I've seen?" "You have not seen him kill a child. He has more anger in him than you realize. He has something worse than anger- he has a need for vengence. I pray that I am wrong, but I truly feel that if he finds out Johnny is here, we will have a problem. If he finds out that Johnny isn't his, we will have a bigger problem." Dally closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands. "You're the only one that knows this, aren't you?" Grandma Cade looked thoughtful for a moment. "I believe I am. It's something I've always been quite certain of, but I have no more proof that this is true than you do right now. Wendy will not remember the past, so she has little way of making the connection. Will... oh Will... he's been so devastated by Emily's death that he just doesn't see what's staring him right in the face. Not that he'd notice anyway. He was always a bit scatterbrained... not that he isn't smart, he's very intelligent-" "But he doesn't use his head, " Dally finished for her. "Exactly." Dally shook his head and looked at the floor. Grandma Cade waited, then asked. "I trust you now understand why I have not told all of this to Johnny?" "I guess. But I don't like it. And I still think you should tell him." Grandma Cade nodded. "I had planned to. I was hoping he would have adjusted a little more quickly to living here, but he was so sad for such a long time. Until you came..." "Yeah, well, I guess he's ok now." "Yes. He seems much better. Perhaps I should bring up the matter with him soon." "Yeah," Dally said quietly. "You seem somewhat... distracted, Dallas. Is there something else on your mind?" "I have to go home tomorrow." "Home? So soon?" "Some...stuff came up... But I guess this will be good since then I can see what's going on with his parents, you know, see if they got wise to any of this." Dally looked at her, and then to lighten the mood a bit he added, "Guess I'm gonna have ta miss church again. God might be everywhere in Virginia, but He sure ain't been around the back streets of Tulsa in a while." "I think you'd be very surprised to learn where God is, Dallas. And what He sees." Dally looked doubtfully at her. She returned his gaze with one of conviction.