Intertwined

Chapter Nineteen

I walked along the shoreline at early morning wearing my pink tank top and my shorts with my hair tied into a bun. I barely slept last night. My mind was filled with suffocating thoughts about Charles and Jay. Maybe if I'd just reject the both of them, things might get better. But I couldn't do that. I loved them both. Gosh I was such a slut. How did they put up with me? Okay, I needed to put aside my thoughts and just breathe. I drowned myself in the sound of the crashing waves. I looked down to my feet that was now wet. How sad that the waves could only touch the shore for a second and then they would go back to the ocean without the assurance of seeing the same shore once more? Perhaps the wave would meet another shore. Meeting Charles was the best thing that had ever happened to me. It felt like I was in another world that only happiness could thrive. But who would've known that for just a second, I'd get dragged back to the real world where every night you get haunted by the ghost of the past and get stabbed with pain. And then Jay and I found each other and I was happy again. But did I really love Jay or was he just a filler of the hole in my heart, the hole that Charles had dug out and never returned? Maybe Jay didn't necessarily complete me, probably because Charles held the original piece of my heart, the piece that completed it. I could feel the tears coming. I quickly stopped myself before I made a mess in the beach. The air was a bit chilly. My body shivered in response.

"Vie?" said the voice I fell in love with. I turned around and saw Charles in his baggy white shirt and denim shorts. His brown hair was a sexy mess and his voice was raspy. I couldn't bring myself to speak and so I was just standing in front of him with my jaw dropped. I became conscious of my appearance. My eyes were still heavy from last night's crying and I definitely looked tired and ugly. But when I looked at Charles' eyes, I felt beautiful, as it always did. There was always something in the way he looked at me, full of endearment and longing, the kind that made me feel special. He went near me and slowly put his hands on my face, as if waiting for me to back away. But instead, I let him touch me. I had been longing for his touch too. He pulled me towards him and angled my head so we could meet each other's gaze, ohh those alluring green eyes. He then moved closer to my face and kissed my forehead. I couldn't move my body. I was like in trance. I surrendered myself to Charles. I closed my eyes as his warm lips touched my forehead. I never felt lightweight since the day we broke up. His lips then traveled to my puffy eyes and he kissed them both. I opened my eyes and looked at Charles.

"I'm so sorry, Vie," he said to me. He quickly turned his head, trying to prevent a tear from falling down. He added, "Give me one more chance." He begged me, his eyes desperately wanting to start all over again. I groaned. Why could I not hate this guy?

"Let me hate you Charles. Don't worry it's a good thing. It's not a destructive form of hate, it's more like I-want-to-forget-you kind of hate," I said with the most positive tone I could pull off as of the moment. He raised his eyebrow. When he smirked, I could feel my eyes popping out of its sockets because he was just drop-dead sexy. Then he was serious again.

He asked me, "Do you still love me?"

I stuttered. Shit. Shit. Shit!

"Because I still love you. Always," he added.

My heart was beating fast and my hands were getting cold. I didn't know what to feel. Should I feel happy or guilty? I wanted to say something, anything, to let him know that maybe I still did. I just needed more time to think about it and I wanted him to wait and stay a little longer. I didn't know what to do. I have completely lost all my senses. Luckily, Charles knew me well. He knew when I felt pressured and what to do with it. He stayed silent and changed the whole mood, something that he did that I could never fully explain. But the point was I didn't feel nervous anymore. We were just staring and smiling at each other.