Brooklyn, Baby | Spot Conlon ²

Chp. 6: Not Okay but It's Okay

"Thank you, Aunt Anne." Kendall walks rather quickly to her room, shutting the door behind her. 

"Austin?" She whispers to herself, opening the envelope carefully. 

Kenny, 

I was indeed upset when you left for North Carolina, know that. Soon after, I went back to my home in Santa Fe. New York just isn't for everyone. When I got back, I spent some time in your room, just sitting there. It was then that I noticed a paper sticking out from behind your bed. Forgive me for reading it, I was so curious. I know now why you could never love me fully, as I loved you. And I understand. I think you should have this. 

-Austin 

Inside the envelope was a piece of crisp parchment. She unfolded it, and immediately recognized the writing. 

T.C., 

I don't know why I'm writing this letter. I don't forgive you. Maybe I do. I'm not sure. I just want you to know that I never stopped loving you. Not once. When I went to New Jersey, all those days, I always was missing you. Then, I wasn't sure if you loved me or hated me. Maybe both. I understand that conflict now. 

I want you to know that I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I am in Santa Fe, with my brothers. I've been with another boy. I miss you so terribly that my body ached for so long. Sometimes, I sleep, and I dream of Brooklyn. I dream that I am there, with you, and we don't have a single problem. No one is trying to drive us apart. 

But then, I wake up. I remember all the things that have happened, and I get mad. Mad at the world, mad at Skiddy, mad at you. I can't be happy anymore. Not without you. 

Don't get the wrong message from this. I don't want you back, and I hardly want to see you again. All I wanted you to know was that I love you to the ends of the world, and I can't be happy without you by my side. 

And that's not fair. 

Kendall had a tear rolling down her cheek. She furiously wiped it away, and ripped the letter in half. She buried her face in a pillow, muffling her sobs. 

"It...isn't...fair," She cried, struggling to breathe in between her heaving. 

She then threw the pillow at the wall, sitting on her bed with her arms around her knees. She almost didn't hear the knocking on the door over the sound of her cries. 

"Kendall, open up," It was Francis. 

She didn't move, but kept crying, and soon enough, Francis burst in. He rushed over to her once he saw her state. 

"Kenny," He hugged her. 

"I miss him," She breathed. "So much it hurts," 

So, he thought, this was where she came out. The real Kendall. She came out from the shell when she was alone. 

He rubbed her back and soothed her until her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep. Once she was out, he pulled the covers over her. Walking out, he noticed the two pieces of paper on the ground. 

Picking them up, he read the lines. He looked over at Kendall, sleeping, and looked back at the letter. He searched through the desk quietly, looking for glue. Once he found it, he went to work. 

Birds were chirping that sunny morning, and Kendall was just awaking. She stretched, standing up to start her day, until she noticed what was sitting on her desk. 

Her letter was perfectly mended, not a trace of rip on it. Next to it lay a note. 

Moving on doesn't mean forgetting. 

She smiled, thanking heaven for a brother like hers. 

She got ready hastily, wanting to catch the Buckley's before their departure. Now that it was fall, her dresses came with longer sleeves, and she wore closed toe shoes. 

Her hair was normally down, but today she swept it up effortlessly. 

"Kendall, my dear, why do you not sleep?" Eric took her hand. 

"I wanted to bid you goodbye," 

"I shall see you sooner than you imagine," He presses a kiss to her forehead. "Goodbye, my love." 

She watched him walk away, wondering the next time she would see him. 

"Never fret, my dear," Aunt Anne says. "They will be back for our Christmas celebration," 

"And after that?" 

"I'm not sure," 

Their coach pulled away, and she watched until she could no longer see it. After stepping away from the window, she found Anthony reading in the study. 

"I never thought I would see the day that you got engaged," He says, not looking up. 

"Are you angry too?" 

"I would never be angry with you," He says, closing the book and sighing. "The turn of events have been a bit troubling," 

"Haven't they? I imagined myself, maybe never marrying Spot, but we would be together forever." She leans against the door frame, looking out into the distance. "We couldn't live in Manhattan, he would never allow it." 

"That is true," Anthony chuckles. "His love for Brooklyn came before his pride, and that certainly was saying something," 

"He loved Brooklyn more so than he loved me," 

Anthony chuckles again. 

"What?" 

"I just don't know if he could decide," 

"Maybe not." 

After a long pause, Anthony spoke. "When is the wedding?" 

"Not anytime in the near future, I'm only eighteen," 

"Many people wed at your age," 

"I think we are going to wait a year or two," She says. "Yet his family is eager for the wedding to take place," 

"Do you know anything of your future?" He asks. 

"Does anyone?" She says quietly. "You think you do, but then the universe changes everything for you," 

"You just have to learn to accept change," 

"Even if it hurts," She adds. 

"Even if it hurts," He agrees. 

"I think I will go for a ride, care to join me?" He stands up. 

"No, I think I'm alright," 

"Are you?" 

She looks at him. 

"No, but it's okay." 

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im so sorry its boring but I'm getting there ;)))