That's Good, That's Bad ~ Chris Brown

Chapter 18

- Abelle

MONTH LATER

After that day, I had finally gotten myself back together. I was concentrating on school and tossed away all drugs I owned and cleaned up the house. I think it was cleaner than the first day I had even moved to Aubrey's house.

But anyway, I had been seeing a therapist and finally stepped up and got rid of all my hoochie clothes and make up I used to wear, but kept my hair the way it was. Needless to say, I was three-fourths of the way back to the old me.

I still went to strip clubs and party's occasionally, but I didn't smoke or drink at all. I rocked with my bottle of water! Lol I hadn't talked to Chris since what happened, but my therapist emboldened me to try and meet him where I knew I could find him and start on a clean slate.

So, here I was standing in front of the door to his studio, waiting for the red light to go off and mentally preparing myself for what I could find when I walked in unwelcome. He could have been in there with that actress girl or maybe he wouldn't be happy to see me at all. Both, I worried deeply about.

The light went off and I shut my eyes for a second to take a deep breath before opening the door. Chris was just coming out of the booth wearing no shirt and some skinny jeans with his Calvin Klein underwear exposed. His hair was blonde just like it was when we were in college and he had on a black and white bandana wrapped around his head.

He stopped everything when he saw me and I gave him a small smile. He looked even more bewildered once I had smiled at him and he put his head down, rubbing his fingers through his curls.

"Errbody out," Chris said snapping his fingers. I looked around as I watched a couple model looking girls and a few rappers got out of their seats. They all brushed past me and I still stood in my place unsure if he meant me too.

"Did you want me to--" I started.

"Come in," he said cutting me off. I looked around from side to side and stepped in closing the door behind me. He was leaning over a piece of paper, scribbling down some words and clenching his jaw repeatedly.

"I knew I'd find you here," I stated with a small laugh. He looked over at me from the corner of his eye and examined what I had on.

"Did I finally get through to you or are you trying to fuck me over?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I questioned looking down at my feet. I was wearing some black TOMS, white skinny jeans, and a black and white Aztec shirt.

"You look like the complete opposite of last month," He replied looking back at his paper.

"Yeah..." I said scratching the back of my neck. There was a long silence and he finally sat down, still not looking at me, but past me. "I missed you, Chris."

He exhaled, "Ion know if I can say the same for you." I deserved that one. I looked down again and squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to walk out the door.

"I've changed, Christopher... I have. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do none of that anymore. I'm back to me," I responded.

"Good for you," he said turning back to his piece of paper. I watched as he scratched some things out.

"So that's it?" I asked trying to control my anger. "You aren't going to say anything else?"

"Whatchu come here for, Abelle?" He inquired sounding angry as all hell.

"I came to apologize--"

"See that's the thing, Abelle. You can't just come here and expect me to just forgive you like it's nothing. You can't just say 'Chris, I miss you and I want you back' and I just kiss you and we live happily ever after,"

"You don't feel anything for me anymore? When you walked out you left your feelings at the door? I'm still doing that honesty thing, Chris. If I'm going to be honest, you should too,"

"I don't,"

"If you didn't then why did you let me in? If you didn't feel anything for me you would just told me to leave and shut the door behind me,"

"... Even if I do still have feelings for you that doesn't change what you put me through. I was just as hurt as you were,"

"I didn't think of that..."

"Exactly, you're selfish as hell,"

"Chris, I'm not anymore. Let me prove it!"

"I'm not easily impressed,"

"You don't have to be. That's not what I'm trying to do. Let's start over, meet for dinner or something tomorrow,"

"I'll think about it. How's that?"

"It's better than a flat out no,"

- Chris

"Is that all?" I asked glancing at her. I clenched my jaw and tried my best to keep my composure.

"I-I guess..." she answered looking down at her feet. I turned back to my lyrics and watched as she walked over to me from the corner of my eye. She leaned down and kissed my temple and touched my bare back. "Bye." My eyes had fluttered shut still feeling her lips pressed against my face even though her presence was no longer there.

I lied in her face about how I felt about her just to see what she would say or do and got something I wasn't expecting. I tapped my pen contemplating what I should do. It seemed like she had changed... She put up with my attitude and cheap shots at her, even my lies.

I tossed my pen and leaned back with my hands on the sides of my face, stretching my back a little with a sigh. I missed her so much, but it was just so hard to trust her after her bullshit. I took in some air and decided to light something up to get my mind off of Abelle. I was supposed to be working on my music and she swoops in. Ugh, she's always doing this to me.

I grabbed some weed, rolling papers, and a lighter and got to it. Anything to take me away was fine right about now.

**

When I got home, the high had worn off and I decided to take a chance. I knew that if she wasted my time I would be pissed off, but if she didn't waste my time I wouldn't bother to look back. I wanted to be happy, so I decided to text her.

[FukYoTexts]: What time did you want to meet for dinner?

[Abby_xD]: :) Eight o'clock

[FukYoTexts]: Aight

[Abby_xD]: You kept my number

[FukYoTexts]: So?

[Abby_xD]: You sure you don't miss me? If you didn't you would've deleted my number

[FukYoTexts]: See you tomorrow Abelle

She irked me reading me like a book like that. I plugged up my phone and layed down in my bed, staring up at the cieling. I mean, what is sleep?

Please read my other story Howl At the Moon and Same Love. Both starring Diggy Simmons. I promise you won't be disappointed!!