SHE'S MINE → JASON MCCANN

00:77

chapter seventy-seven |
Y o u r  p o v

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I finally let the tears, that I have bottled up for so long, run free. They endlessly fall from my eyes, running down my neck. In this moment I don't care how ridiculous I look. I'm standing in the middle of the road, watching as his car grows farther & farther away. I wish I stopped him. I wish I had the courage to tell him to stay & not leave me—I wish he didn't just leave.

If he leaves now, when will I ever see him again? What if he never comes back? What if he just came here for my forgiveness & that's it. I'm sick of all the what ifs. My mind starts overflowing with possible possibilities. All I could do is picture his eyes. I was lost in the swirling sea of his sorry eyes. I could see the toll of us not being together just by staring into his brown eyes.

What if I forgive him? Would everything just turn back to normal? As much as I want—need to be with him, I can't go back to the way things were. The anger, the jealousy—

My mind starts drifting off to Styles. This whole situation sidetracked me from my date that I have for tonight. Everything is just too overwhelming, & the most overwhelming part is seeing the truck suddenly stop up the street. I squint my eyes, noticing the car door open.

What's going? I'm not quite sure what is happening, but whatever is happening makes me feel uncomfortable. A part of me wants him to get back in the car, while the other part wants him to kiss me deeply.

My eyes watch him carefully. I study as he shuts the door, heading back up the street. I feel relieved, anxious & uncertain all at the same time. My hair blows softly from the spring air, as my body grows colder & colder. My eyes scan over his face, even though I can't make out his features in detail.

He starts getting closer & closer, while my heart starts beating faster & faster. It almost feels like time just stops, while I watch him get even more closer. Did he forget something? Is it me. Maybe he's coming back for me. Is that something I want? Yes it is. But I'd just be giving in like I've always done. After everything that has happened, would you forgive him that easily?

I bite down on my lip nervously as his tired eyes look into mine. He looks almost desperate—but for what?

My endless thoughts silence, As I feel his lips collide into mine. Everything happened so fast. His lips tastes like mint, they feel foreign against mine. My eyes are wide open, as I try to take in what is happening. His hands are pressed against my cheeks, kissing me desperately. My hands rest on his, kissing him back. I feel a sudden rush as we kiss. It's feels like forever, the last time I kissed him was about a year ago. I'm not sure how I was able to go a whole year without being with, it was hard for me.

Losing him was blue like I never known, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met—but loving him is red. His lips feels so soft against mine, it almost feels like we aren't standing in the middle of the road.  In this moment, I don't care who's watching.

All I care about is being here, with him, feeling his embrace, his lips—

I spoke to soon.

"Y/n?,"

I pull away from him, once I notice the familiar curly-haired figure  standing beside us. My eyes widen from sudden embarrassment. I probably look like a mess, my eyes are probably red & I know my hair is disheveled. Everything that is happening  tonight is too much. Starting from Jason showing up to Styles showing up when Jason's showing up. I don't even know what to say. My eyes scan over Jason's as he stares at Styles carefully. I know I need to say something—anything.