torn // muke

8

Luke

Once I was back to reality, I felt worse than the day Michael told me he likes a girl.

I simply didn't care who or what took advantage of me as long as it took the feeling away. I wanted to forget about how Michael made me feel.

I was laying on my bed doggie style, a man fucking me as I smoked a cigarette.

I was so dumb to think I liked Michael. I don't. I don't get attached to people. I just can't.

I collected my money from the guy, and took a shower quickly before I heard the doorbell ring.

I quickly put on my pajamas, and ran to the door, opening it quickly.

I sighed when I realized it was just Michael. He's kinda the last person I wanted to see.

"Hey, I tried calling you all day, but you never answered, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He said, and I nodded softly, but my eyes widened when I saw a guy walk up behind Michael.

I forgot his name, but I remember how happy he made me. Happiness is all I need right now.

"Oh- am I interrupting something?" He asked, and I shook my head quickly as Michael stepped back to see who it was.

"Luke, I'm sorry I never called you, but I miss you so much and I know I shouldn't tell you that, but no sex involved, I want to hold you tonight." He said, and I blushed, and smiled, looking down at the ground.

"I need someone to make me feel happy, and I know you will.." He said, and Michael glanced over at me.

"You know, we have a mountain of fries calling us at McDonald's." Michael said, and I looked back at Jake.

Jake. That was his name.

"I need someone to make me feel happy too." I whispered, and let him in.

"Thank you, Michael, but maybe you should ask Rachel. I'm busy tonight." I said, and shut the door.

-

"I know it's kinda weird for me to just show up, but-"

"You don't have to explain. I'm just glad you did it." I whispered, and snuggled closer to him.

"I'm actually moving tomorrow. I just wanted a peaceful night." He whispered, and I nodded.

"Why are you upset?" He asked, and I sighed. "You know the guy that was at my door?" I asked, and he nodded. "I really really like him. He's the only person who's wanted to be my friend without using me. Besides you, of course, but he drove me up to his favorite spot in the mountains, and asked me if it was a good date spot, and I felt so happy because I thought he was hinting that it was a date, but then he explained he was thinking about bringing a girl he likes up there. He doesn't like me, but I get it." I whispered. "Tell me what it's like to be in love." I told him softly, and he looked down at me.

"It's scary. You put all of your love, trust, and energy into one person who could break you at any second. But, it's the best feeling in the world. You never feel lonely, even when they're not with you. You're always thinking about them, and you always want to make them happy. You take care of one person so much that you forget to take care of yourself, but it's okay because the whole time you were focused on them, they were holding you up too." He whispered, and I felt my eyes start stinging.

"I want that." I whispered, and let my tears soak into his sleeve. "But nobody wants to be in love with me. I've given myself away to anybody who comes around. I wanna change so bad because then maybe I'll find someone who wants me, but once I tell them about all the things I've done, they're gonna know how disgusting I am, so what's the point in getting better?" I asked.

"Do it for yourself, Luke. Do it for your happiness. You can't love someone completely if you're broken yourself." He said, and I nodded.