Densi Forever

Such Soft, Silent Suffering

Callen's POV

"I'm telling you, fettucini sauce is way better than parmesan!" Sam exclaims. "No way! The parmesean leaves your mouth feeling like it's celebrating!" I respond. "I don't wanna celebrate. I wanna eat a good-tasting meal! Plus, it's better for you." "Well that's another reason I will never..." I trail off when I see Kensi sitting at her desk, staring at her phone looking like a puppy that's just been kicked.

"Kens, what's wrong?" I ask. Her head snaps up and she puts a calm and collected mask on. "Nothing. Everything's fine." I see a bandage around her wrist and she follows my eyes. When she sees what I'm looking at she tries to hide it, but i rush over and catch her arm. She winces, but then recovers. I slowly unwrap the bandage to see a huge gash, still pouring out blood. "Kensi, what the hell happened?" Sam demands. "I cut my arm on a piece of glass. I don't like hospitals, so I just wrapped it myself. I'm really fine you guys."

I can tell she's not telling the whole truth, but before I can press any further I am interrupted by Hetty. "Mr Callen, Mr Hanna, in my office. I take one last glance at Kensi, who is now staring at the floor, before following Hetty back to her office. "Hetty, what's going on with Kensi?"

"Deeks was shot last night. He is currently in the hospital fighting for his life. I need you to drive Miss Blye to the hospital and get her stitched up, she was cut when the bullet shattered the window." I freeze.

"Your telling me she was there?"

"It was at Ms. Blye's house. If it weren't for Deeks, she would be dead right now. Which is why she blames herself. We need her to be busy and focused at all times, no rest time." I think about that for a second. If it weren't for Deeks, Kensi would be dead.

I really owe that son of a bitch a beer.

Sam and I walk back to our desks and tell Kensi. "We're taking you to the hospital." She shakes her head and starts to walk out of the room, but Sam grabs her by the waist and flips her over his back. She pounds his back with her fists, but it's no use. I start the car, and Sam quickly throws her in the backseat, locking the door right after. He jumps into the car and I speed off, going way above the speed limit so she can't escape.

Instead of laughing like she usually would, she just sighs a sad sigh and lays down in the back. Sam and I exchange a glance and after a few failed conversation attemps, we spend the rest of the ride on silence.

Kensi's POV

It's not Sam and Callen's fault. I just don't feel like talking right now. We walk into the hospital and I am immediately shuffled into a room with a doctor. He stitches up my arm and I don't even flinch at the pain.

Because the physical pain can never be as bad as the mental pain.

My mind is drowning.

I walk out of the room and back into the waiting area. The room is hectic. There are nurses rushing around, kids crying with bloody knuckles and broken chins. There are people yelling angrily at the receptionist while her phone rings off the hook. And with all these people in the room,

I am still 100% alone.

I am standing alone in a crowded room.

And my mind, my soul, and my body, are drowning.