Densi Forever

Some Work Better Alone

Samantha's POV-

I'm sitting in a pitch-black room. I've been here for days. It feels like weeks. I don't know. I lost track of time. The idea of a rescue has long since faded, and I've come to accept the fact that's been staring me in the face for quite some time now, like a spirit shielded by the boundaries of the underworld. This fact that I have repeated in my head over and over and over again because it is the thing that is dividing my reality from what I have been told: I'm going to die. But I'm at peace with the fact. Because my death will be avenging many others, and perhaps even more will live to see anohter day becasue of it. I'm not only ok with the idea of dying; I'm welcoming it with open arms.

I only have a few things that I regret never doing. Just a few. Though most revolve around on idea. The childhood I've never had, that was wrongfully stolen from me. I never got it back. I've made  a list in my head of these things that I regret.

5. Never learned to braid hair. I know it seems superficial, but at the same time, everybody my age knows how to do it and does it all the time, and I just wish I were abe to as well.

4. I never had a real bestfriend. I grew pretty close to Kensi, what with her being my protection detail and all, we even had a sleepover one time, though I think that was because she was on the job and instead of staying outside my room she just came in and hung out. But even though I had her, I never had a real bestfriend. One that I could tell my secrets to or gossip about some girl I didn't like to or cry into her shoulder when times got tough. I never had someone like that.

3. I never liked a boy. I never stuck around in one place long enough to develop a crush. I'd never seen love before, so I assumed it wasn't possible to actually fall in love with someone. But when I saw Kensi and Deeks, woah did that change things. I understand that it's a little more complex than it seems, and sometimes you don't even realize that you're in love. But that's the best kind of love. The kind where you don't even try, you just are, it just is. I never had that, even a speck of that.

2. I never forgave my parents. I never patched things up with them. I know they aren't alive, but I still never forgave them.

1. I never told G. Callen the truth. The truth about his mother. The truth about his father.

The truth about me.

I hang my head at the thought. The wall I'm pinned to prevents me from falling, though if I did I'd just land on the ground 5 feet below me.

I don't think I'd ever have done any of these things even if I did live though. There's no point in lying to myself. I probably would have just kept on assasinating people, dealing drugs, and ratting people out. What I did was what I loved. I don't think it would have changed.

But you never know.

I found out G. Callen was my brother years ago. I know he had another sister, an older one, Amy, but I never mat either of them. I was born way after. I don't know if we had the same mother, but we had the same father. I was hired for an assasination on some Assistant Director Granger, and as I was about to poison him. I was carrying the glass filled with white wine and cyanide and then.......the man he was sitting with's head turned. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared into his cold blue eyes. He didn't see me, but somehow, I recognized him. I turned sharply and walked away, throwing the glass in the sink on the way out.

I walked for a while. Just walked down the streets. I didn't know what to do, where to go, how to..... function. I just wandered aimlessly until I realized a car was following me. I didn't see the point in running, so I just walked up to it and motioned for the driver to roll down the tinted window. To my surprise, the window in the back rolled down and a small woman spoke.

"Hello. I've been following you for a while now. Why don't you come inside? It's awfully cold outside." I shook my head. "I'm Hetty Lange. I work for the man you just tried to kill. Why don't you come inside?"

 A loud noise snaps me back into reality and I listen closer.

I hear rapid gunfire coming from outside the room, along with someone yelling in a foreign accent. The door bursts open and light pours into the room. It's blindingly white, after not seeing any light for more than a week, and my eyes don't adjust.

I feel someone shaking me and lift my head up. I see the outline of a mans face and gasp. "Help," I breathe. He nods and pulls the pins that were keeping me against the wall out of my hands and my feet. I collapse into his arms.

"Are you ok?" I don't know who he is but I nod. The man carries me to a gernie and lays me down as I'm quickly shuffled onto an ambulance. I close my eyes and realize one thing:

I'm not Callen's family. He has a family. With his team. And I'll find a family. But this is his. I'm not going to try to make it mine, because it's not. I need to leave before he can see me, before he can know. He has a good life. I don't wanna screw it up.

He's better off without me.

And I'm better off without him.

It's just...... better that way.