Broken Promises

A human heart

Of course we would be bus buddies. Her last name will always be close to mine. All I can say is the R's stay together, so I knew we would be together on this trip.

A body museum, how exciting! I wondered if I could hold and feel a real human heart in my hands. It was funny to think of it, but it was a strange desire of mine. A human heart in my hands... I would be able to look at the object responsible for all my pain. I wanted to crush it. I wanted to hold it tight. I was simply excited.

I chose the back of the bus for the main reason that I could release some of my pain in case that was needed. Also, no need to be disturbed by annoying preps.

As she got on the bus and sat next to me, she smiled like she was saying, 'Of course it would be the back seat.'

I was glad to have her with me, sleeping would be so easy. Every time we are together, we find any possible position to sleep. Sleep is just so important to us. I knew that having her by my side meant fun times, but I missed my other half. Honestly, I felt like he was fine without me. I discarded that thought when I remebered times where he acted like a child dependent of me. I was protecting them both from the dark, or at least I thought I was.

The trip was full of sleeping and fun times with him and her. The bodies were so amazing, but my desire to grab the heart did not come true. All I could do was stare at it through the plastic cube surronding it as I looked at it in fascination.

After hours of never-ending fun came the drive back home. A part I hated - not because it was over, but because it would be nighttime and I would feel lonely. I guess you can say I'm afraid of the dark as well.

Hours of slumber on the bus floor and people thinking I was unconscious was hilarious. Now the floor would be empty.

For hours there was silence between us as I died in my head. We then both ended up on the bus floor. We held hands. I felt so lonely and she was here with me there was nothing much I could do.

Her warm body got closer and closer as we talked and I couldn't help but panic.
I looked into her eyes and felt a horrible urge. Weather it was anxiety or just me, I had an urge to kiss her. That was not right of me and I told her to back off. It wasn't right for me to do it, it simply wasn't. She got closer and closer; from time to time our noses would be inches away. Stop, I thought, stop. I told her I wanted to do something I warned her to stay away; I wasn't in my right mind. She listened, but then continued to trick me with the small distance between us. Her eyes trying to look puzzled, looking innocently at me. She told me to do it so it would make me feel better. How could I feel better? That would not help. I was sure she knew what I wanted to do, but didn't know why she wanted me to. I knew it was all a trick.

I was acting like a shy boy, nervous about kissing that certain girl for the first time. Her skin touching mine, not disrespectfuly, but full of care. I felt nervous around her, scared I would give in, but I held on tight and tried my best to ignore my anxiety and that urge....the urge to kiss her.

On my way home, I thought of the sin I would've committed. I was glad I did not give in. The night ended with my cellphone screen containing a message of apology for my conduct and another of forgiveness.