Unwithered Love

Chapter 2 : Unresolved Emotion

I began to like the people around me. Those strangers became my friends, they became my family. It was probably expected since we stayed in one rented house, and everyone was really kind. They're like my big sisters and big brothers.

They had this summer job for a cause, to reach out and share God's Word, and at the same time to earn money so they could support their own studies. I wondered why my sister was there. We were not rich, but my parents could afford to send us to private schools. I learned so much from them. I realized then the value of hard work. I began to appreciate more what I had.

During my stay with them, with Michael, I did not realize I was enjoying every moment with them, every moment with Michael. Every chance he talked to me, when he gazed his eyes upon me, I treasured those times. I savored  every moment with him. Everyday was special to me. Everyday was colorful. We went to church together. We did chores in the house together. We ate together. We had fellowship together. It was fun being with them. During the morning and evening devotion, I admired how Michael sings, how he strums the guitar, how he encourages the group and how he looks and smiles at me. Those simple gestures gave joy to my heart. My heart was melting. But I was loving the feeling.

It was like a dream, like I was plunged into a new life, chasing new dreams and making these happen. He was the first thing on my mind every morning, most of which I wake from blurry dreams where I share his presence. Those dreams left me yearning for more so painfully, sometimes I struggled to breathe.

Why? Why do I feel this way?

All I know for sure was that I had spent the four weeks with the kindest heart I have ever met. His honesty and outlook on this life calm me in my most frantic moments. In his presence, my mind is finally quiet enough to let me breathe, and I feel at peace. I relish in the moments we laughed together and shared the same thoughts, and I was blessed to learn spiritual things not only from the group but from him as well. With him by my side, there was nothing that couldn't be conquered. He inspired me to be softer, kinder, more caring- the me I've always been too guarded to let shine.

This could not be over. But, maybe it is. Only time will tell.

I hate goodbyes, but I had to go home. Four weeks were too short, but those days gave me so much memories to cherish. The friendship with them was worth keeping especially with Michael.

That day when I was about to leave, I could not help but cry. Tears kept flowing down my cheeks. I was sobbing like a child who had lost a favorite toy, like I had found a precious gem but could not keep it to myself. Some of them might be wondering where it was coming from. Some got the hint what's the reason behind those tears. Eunice tried to comfort me. She knows well how to pacify me, but that moment I knew she too was puzzled how to appease me. I had wished I could tell her exactly how I feel. But even myself could not understand why I was weeping.

I tried to calm myself when I saw Michael. He was wearing that smile again. He was there in front of me. Consoling my lonely heart, he said with a soft, assuring voice,

"I'll see you this June."

That was something to look forward to. Before we left, he handed me a book, it was simply wrapped with white paper.

On the bus, my sister held my hand and said,

"No reason to cry, you will see him again."

How did she know? Was Michael the reason why I was crying? Why did I weep so much thinking of him?
I leaned and closed tightly my eyes trying to get the sense on how did I get that kind of emotion.