Unwithered Love

Chapter 6 : The Break Up

The next morning at the cafeteria we were discussing about the summer break. Chelsea told us that she would not go home. She said she needs to take summer class. My sister was planning also to take summer class. They looked at me waiting for me to tell them also my plan. I told them I would just eat, sleep, and read my favorite books. Everyone would tease me then. Chelsea with her impulsive mouth blurted to me, "You should take summer class too, who knows he might be able to enroll for the summer class."

I didn't know how to react to that. But I plainly replied to her, "I don't care."

Eunice, as always, being my defender, changed the topic.

We were at the ramps going through the auditorium when I spotted Chlouie sitting on the bench. I had wished I could avoid him, but it was too late. I could see him smiling at me. Chelsea and Eunice went ahead to the dorm.

"Hi! Goodmorning!" Chlouie greeted me.

"Hi, I didn't see you at the cafeteria this morning and even last night."

"Oh, you were already out probably when I went in."

He stood up and walked beside me.
I hated that awkward moment. I knew something's bothering him.
To ease the tension, I asked, "When are you going home?"

We asked same question at same time and laughed together.
"Probably on Monday." He replied seriously, his smile was fading.
"What about you?"He asked looking at me.

"Sunday."

He stopped and crossed his arms and faced me.
"You take care, my Angel." His voice quivered.

"Yes, I will. Do the same."I smiled and pinched him on his left arm.

We continued walking until we reached our favorite spot at the Pines Park.

We sat.

We looked around.

Long silence.

"Angel, where were you last summer?" He looked at a far away distance with clasped hands.

"Oh, Eunice brought me to Zamboanga. She wanted me to meet her friends, friends who would help her by convincing me to choose this school. She always wins."I laughed lightly, but I began to feel uncomfortable. I had the feeling where this would lead to.

A pause.

He continued, "Sorry, I was just bothered. Yesterday you did not come out to see me. Someone said you were crying."

He stopped.

"I asked you about Michael. You said there's nothing to talk about him. I want..."

"Chlo, it was not my intention to hurt you.. I didn't know I would feel that way..."

" I know, but I am here to listen now. I want to help you, I want to ease your pain."

"I'm sorry, Chlouie."

"Don't be sorry, I completely understand you. Please forgive me. Last night, after our talk, I asked someone from the boys in our dorm who were with your sister in Zamboanga. Then I heard about your cry when you left the group."

Another pause.

"Can you be honest with me? Why are you hurting? He seems not to care about you. Maybe he does, just the way he cares about your sister and to anyone else in the group. What do you expect from him? I think you are just the one causing your own misery."

I sobbed quietly. He held my hand tightly and continued, "Stop hurting yourself, Angel. I don't want to see you this way. Honestly, I envy Michael. I wish I can take his place."
I got my hanky from my pocket and blew my nose.

Finally my voice went out, and with sincerity I told him,
"Chlouie, I was unfair to you. I am sorry. I hate myself for being like this, for hurting you."

"I understand you, Gel... you need some time to think... just don't be deceived with your emotions. I know you are confused because of me. And to help you out, please delete me first in your heart if I have a place in there. I am making this easy for you, Gel. I know you don't want to hurt me. But remember I have loved you. You will always be my Angel. I will pray for you, Gel.. I have always prayed for you. Whatever you are feeling right now, I hope you could find that peace..and joy. God is with you, Gel. Give them all to Him. We can still be friends, can we?"

"Yeah, sure," I was sobbing and smiling at him.

He put his arm around me and assuringly patted me on my shoulder.

I wanted to hug him that time. I forced to smile and told him if I could go back to my dorm by myself. He agreed. Before I left him he said these last words, " Please don't cry too much, and don't worry about me."

Inside my room, I felt relieved because no one was there. I looked at the clock. I had only one and half hour to prepare for my class. I opened my locker; the gift of Chlouie was still unwrapped. I opened it carefully. Inside the small box was a small figurine. A pretty angel with bluish white wings and a golden halo. On a small card a note was written: You are loved! Be happy. You will always be my angel. Happy birthday. Love, Chlouie.

On my bed I continued sobbing. I recalled the first time I met Chlouie. It was enrollment, the first week of November. I was filling up the registration form when my pen had run out of ink. He saw me being irritated with the pen. He handed me his pen and said with a smile, "Get rid of that. The useless deserves to the dirt!

I smiled back at him saying, "Thank goodness the pen could not complain and say: I served you well for a long time. Do I deserve a break?"

We both laughed about it. I continued with my form and returned the pen to him.
"Thank you!"I smiled and went to the next counter.

The next day, I saw him at the cafeteria. His table was adjacent to mine. I did not intentionally look at him, but when I looked he was also looking at me. We both smiled at each other.

The alarm buzzed! I hurried to the washroom, washed my face, put some powder and concealer on my puffy eyes.
On my way to my classroom I uttered a prayer, "Lord, give me the courage to face him again."
I went inside the room. The professor was already doing the attendance. I looked at the seat of Chlouie, it's empty. With prayer in my heart, I thought, "Lord, please comfort Chlouie."