Deaf Wish

Chapter 18

The heat hits me like a wall as I step out of the air conditioned house and onto their front yard. Almost running along side to the road, towards my home. I know he was following, even though he didn't run, but he was behind me. I enter the house, pacing up the stairs to grab his bag, that was still laying on the floor next to mine. It was lighter than mine, probably because he still doesn't have all of his books. I reach down to grab a hold of it, throwing it over my shoulder, before heading back downstairs, only to bump into my little sister. "Sorry.", I rush past her, leaving the startled girl stand there in confusion.

Nathan was slowly walking towards my house, his head lowered and looking like he was deep in thoughts. When he saw me standing at the entrance, his lips curled up to small smile, which I answered with a glare. I know this is wrong, I'm hating on him for something he didn't do and I know never will, but... "Here.", I toss the bag in his direction, before hurrying back inside, the tears on the verge of overflowing. I don't want to see him ever again.

Lucky me! He's not only in my class but also my neighbor. Why?

As soon as the door fell shut behind me, I couldn't control it anymore. I burst out in tears, my sister looking at me in utter shock, rubbing my back and hugging me tightly. She's not asking questions, instead, she takes me to my room, placing me on my bed, before cuddling up next to me. It's been quite a while since I last broke down like this, but it felt good, knowing that there are always people watching over you.

I must have fallen asleep, cause when I opened my eyes again, it had already started to get dark, the sun slowly disappearing behind the endless seeming roofs of our neighborhood. A movement next to me caught my attention and before I knew it, I was pulled into an embrace by an all too familiar blonde girl. As she slowly let go of me, I could see the worry and sadness in her face. "Hey, how are you feeling? Your sister called me, so I rushed over here. What happened? Nathan isn't picking up his phone. Did you guys fight or did he do something wrong?", she tried to talk slow, which was harder than most people think.

"I'm fine, there was really no need for you to worry. I handled everything by myself and we both agreed to never see each other-", I couldn't even finish my sentence as Claire slapped my head. Not too hard of course. "What was that-", she cuts me off again. "Why do you always do that? Why can't you stop living in your past? You need to let go sooner or later." Her head was lowered, making it harder for me to read her lips.

"But... I really tried, but the way he treats me... I can't deal with that day in and out. It's irritating!", this time she didn't cut me off. "What did he do?", she asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. "He irritates me. The way he acts around me, I'm not used to something like this. Like, he asked me weird questions and... but... I want to believe he's different, I truly do! I want him to tell the truth with whatever he's saying, but... I can't, you know?", her lips were pulled up into a big smile. "Just believe him, even if you get hurt, that's just the way of life, but you have to at least try. Maybe you should talk to him about what happened to you in your past. I bet he would understand why you're so afraid of strangers."

Is she out of her mind? There is literally no way in hell, I'll ever tell this guy about that incident. It was hard enough to talk to Claire about it. "Forget it! I don't want him in my life!", pouting, I pull the blanket over my head, denying further conversation with her.

Eventually, she left my room, leaving me alone, sulking and deep in thoughts.

I don't know what I should do now. Am I still supposed to go to that Café with him? Or should I even go to Dillon's party? I don't know! Guilt makes my stomach twist. Maybe I shouldn't have said that to Nathan, since his intentions were pure towards me. AH, I do not know!

Pushing of the blanket I look over to my bag, remembering how his was standing right next to it and how he was actually in my room. I blush slightly, but try to ignore it as I walk over to get my phone, which I hadn't used all day. A few notifications but nothing special. What do I even mean with special? A text from him saying he's sorry? No of course not. The blush spreads.

Dammit, I feel like a little school girl!

I take my phone and head downstairs, seeing Alex and Claire sitting at the kitchen counter talking about something. As soon as they heard me, they stopped talking, turning towards me with worried faces. "Do you feel, dizzy?", Claire asked handing me a bottle of water, as I shake my head. "What was wrong with you during class, Nathan said you fainted. Did you even sleep at night?", she gets up from her chair, to come closer, to the middle of the room where I was standing, drinking a few sips of water.

"I did, but I have no idea why I was so exhausted during the day.", I rub my eyes, looking back and forth between the two girls, waiting for one of them to say something. "Maybe it's like that time, you know, when you thought you were sleeping but were actually awake the whole night. You always do that when there is too much on your mind.", Alex said, receiving a convinced nod from Claire. "That sounds pretty accurate. Was he really that much on your mind?", the blonde girl smirked at me, as that stupid blush pitched in. "That's really sweet but if you keep pushing him away from you won't help you with that."

"I don't like him!", I almost yell, or at least think that I did, before storming out of the kitchen, out of the house to take a short walk around the block. Well, you couldn't exactly call it cooling of since it was still pretty hot outside.

But why does Claire keep saying that, it makes no sense! Like I could ever like that guy. Guy? That's right we're both guys, so I shouldn't even consider... STOP. RIGHT. THERE! Don't even continue thinking. I'm not gay, neither is he! But what if he is? I mean, he did say that he liked me. It couldn't be... could it?

I turned back around, noticing how far I have already moved from my house. Trying to think of something, I take out my phone, reading through a few News articles, mostly political stuff I'm not even interested in, but everything is fine, as long as it distracts me. After three more articles, I'm back home, entering the cool building and heading straight up the stairs, not even caring if the two girls were still sitting the kitchen or not.

Entering my room, I close the door behind me, but leave it unlocked just to be polite. Well, I don't really have homework to do, since I kinda blacked out in first period. Come to think of it, didn't Nathan ask that girl to take notes for us? Maybe they're in my bag, if she was actually stupid enough to obey his demand. I look through my stuff, searching for anything that looked like the paper my fellow classmate had used.

And there it is, three sheets,neatly folded and placed in the back of my books. The writing was rushed, but still quite nice. I place them on my desk, sitting down to start studying. She had written down everything of importance, sometimes even adding small notes. That's pretty awesome, to be honest.