Deaf Wish

Chapter 43

Claire decided to drive home after dinner, leaving me and my thoughts alone and restless. My sister did come by before she went to bed, telling me how happy she is for me. Can you really be happy for me after all my brain is going through at the moment? I'm not sure if this is actually love, but if it is then love is some hard stuff, because I can't make up my mind. Maybe I don't even like him in that way. But what if I do? I don't want to hurt him or anything. Damn! I need to stop this senseless thinking, my head already hurts. I should just go to bed, tomorrow is a new day!

The next morning went by unspectacular, I didn't even get up to make us some breakfast, I felt way too exhausted to get out of the warm and comfortable blankets that were wrapped around my body. I was still wearing the things I got from Nathan, since I didn't really feel like taking them off, also, they kinda smelled like him. That sounds so weird, I shouldn't tell him about that.

Him.

There he is again! The second I wake up, I immediately think of him. This can't be! Will there ever be a time where I don't think about this guy? I don't know the answer to that. The sun was merciless at burning into my room, right in my face if I may add. This was probably the only reason I got up from my comfortable bed. I made my way over to the bathroom, which wasn't occupied and looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall next to the bathtub. 11am. Why didn't anybody wake me up?

I got ready, still wearing Nathan's clothes as I made my way downstairs. My mother was sitting at the counter, my dad moving around in the kitchen. Their heads turned towards me as soon as they noticed me approaching them. "Hey baby. Did you sleep well?", my mother asked placing a kiss on my forehead, after I took a seat next to her. "Yeah fine.", she kissed the exact same spot Nathan did. His kiss did feel better than my moms, it seemed as if the spot his lips touched was tingling, that wasn't the case with hers. But I guess that's just what a mommy kissy feels like. Not comparable.

A light touch on my shoulder made me snap out of my, once again ridiculous thought, and look up at the worried face of my mother. "Is everything okay, you seemed so off the last few days?", she ruffled through my hair. (He would have done the same). "No everything is fine.", I gave her a reassuring smile before getting up from my seat to head back upstairs. I don't want my parents to find out about all of this. Too big is the fear of rejection. I mean, there are a lot of homophobic people out there, I'm just scared my mom and dad might be one of them. Although I had never actually hear them say anything like that, but who knows. I should wait, before telling them.

As I headed over to my room, I spotted Alex coming out of the bathroom, eyes a little red and puffy. "Hey, is something wrong?", I walk over to her, putting an arm around her small frame. "No everything is fine, just had a nightmare, that's all.", she smiled slightly, but it wasn't all that convincing. I decided to let it drop at first, if she really wants to talk about it she'd come to me. "Okay, one thing though, if mom and dad ask about what's wrong with me, tell them... uhm...", I didn't actually know what she should tell them. "It's fine, I got things covered until you're comfortable with everything.", I hugged her as a thank you, relieved that she was on my side with all of this.

"I'll be heading downstairs, do you want to eat something?", she asked, after she had peeled herself out of my embrace. "No, I'm fine, I'll make us some breakfast or whatever in a few minutes, just wanted to check my phone.", the only reason I wanted to check my phone was to see if Nathan wrote anything, but of course I couldn't tell her that, she'd be on my back in no time. "Okay, see you in a bit.", she turned around and left. I do have a lot of secrets to hide from everybody, that's not like me.

I headed over to my room, taking my phone and watch from the charging station. As soon as I had turned both of them on, a message pops up on the screen. I couldn't help but smile as I saw from who it was.

Good morning, you're probably not up yet, but I just wanted to thank you for helping me yesterday. It was a lot of fun, we should do that again -laughing emoji- Also,about Mika, don't worry about it, I talked to him, but he seemed rather disappointed -laughing emoji-. But I hope you're okay with going to the pool with me and the others, if not then please tell me. Anyway, I'm on my way to my old Ice Hockey team, so I won't be able to check my messages. I wish you an awesome day and I'll see you tomorrow!

Well, that kinda felt good. I don't know why, but receiving a message like this in the morning really lifts your spirit. I put my watch around my wrist, remembering how he kissed my scars yesterday. My heart skips a few beats just by thinking about it. I dropped my phone on the bed and made my way back to the kitchen to make us something to eat.

Both my parents were sitting in the living room, watching TV with the subtitles on. They never actually turned them off, even when I'm not there. "I'm going to make some breakfast, did you guys eat already?", I asked, leaning against the frame of the door. "We're going out to eat lunch in an hour are you sure you want to eat something now?", my dad returned the question. Since when are we going out to eat? "Uhm, where are we going?", maybe they talked about it when I was gone. "We told you yesterday while dinner, Claire's mother wants us to meet her.", he continued talking, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

Her mother's back? Why didn't she tell me? "Oh, right, I remember, well then I'll wait until we go out to eat.", I smiled before retreating to the kitchen where Alex was looking through the refrigerator. I told her about the already set plans and even she was surprised about it. Maybe we really weren't paying attention.

We both went upstairs to her room, getting the time by with talking and showing each other pictures on our phones. After an hour or so, the door opened and our mom's head popped up, telling us to be in the car in 10 minutes. Alex and I parted ways after that, getting ready for where ever we're going. I'm pretty sure Claire will be there too, so it shouldn't be a problem with wearing whatever, but to my disappointment I had to take Nathans shirt off, since it was already pretty sweaty.

In the car, I quickly texted him back, not wanting Claire to find out about it.

Hey, yeah, we should totally paint another wall haha! I don't mind going to the pool with you and the others, I bet it's going to be cool. I'm on my way to Lunch with my family and Claire's mother. Much fun... not. Well, I bet you're going to have more fun than me. Either way, I wish you a nice day, as well. Take care.

That sounded so wrong, well not exactly wrong, more like weird. Weird coming from me I mean. Every normal couple probably writes like this, but we're not a couple. Not yet... wait no! What I'm trying to say is, that we're far from being a couple but we tend to behave like one. Is that bad? It doesn't feel that bad, more like nice and warm. I wonder if there's a difference in how we will act around each other should we ever be "a Thing". Will there even be a difference or will he do the exact same things?

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Sorry for the huge time gap, but I had some personal problems, anyway here's a chapter and I promise there will be another one either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Please be patient with me! Hahaha<3