Deaf Wish

Chapter 49

How can she do this to me? She is the only one who really understands me, she is- I broke into a heavy sob, hiding my face in the crook of his neck, clenching the soft material of the black shirt he was wearing. In this moment, I completely forgot about the other people sitting in the classroom as we stood there. Nathan leaned away from me, so I had a chance to look at his face, worry and understanding clearly displayed on it.

"It's okay, I'll talk to her later, okay.", his thumb removed a few tears as he smiled at me, the green in his eyes seeming to sparkle and sending waves of comfort towards me. "Can we... go?", I didn't want to be here anymore, I didn't care about school, it's only one more week anyway. He nodded, taking my hand in his and leading me out of the classroom and back to the entrance. I didn't care about the people that looked at me, what do they know anyway.

We head to his car getting in without further conversation and leaving the school grounds. My thoughts quickly swift of to the girl that used to be my everything, that used the be my world. What has become of us? Why did everything have  to come the way it did? Silent tears ran down my cheeks as I looked out of the window, not even caring that we were driving in the opposite direction of home. How am I going to fix this?

After another few minutes, Nathan parked in front of a small little shop, stopping the engine before turning to look at me. "I thought you might want to grab some ice cream.", he grinned, pointing at the shop. I simply nod, a little smile displayed on my face as we got out of the car and into the heat. Nathan walked around the car towards me, removing the remaining tears on my cheeks, before placing a soft kiss on my forehead. He grabbed my hand, giving it a light squeeze and leading me inside the cold little store.

Not many people were waiting in line or sitting at the small tables that were scattered around the room. We got in line, Nathans thumb continually rubbing over the back of my hand, giving me some sort of comfort. I felt a few others stare at us, but just like in school, I couldn't care less, I was grateful for Nathan still being there for me, that he didn't leave me like Claire did.

We each got a huge scoop of chocolate chip cookie ice cream and left the shop to take a quick walk, sitting down at one of the free benches in the shade of a few trees. I leaned against him while we ate the cold and refreshing sweetness. It's as if I never wanted to be apart from him.

I have no idea for how long we've been sitting there, even though we were both long finished with our ice cream. It's more like I completely spaced out, my thoughts were all over the place, this time involving not only him but Claire as well. I would have never guessed that something like this would ever happen.

On a silent command, we both got up, heading back to the car and driving back to our neighborhood. We didn't talk, he just parked in front of my house, gesturing me to get out and come with him. Nathan waited for me to unlock the door and lead the way to my room, where I immediately let myself fall on the bed, burying my face into my pillow and starting to cry again. I can't believe all of this is happening at the same time. Can't anything just last?

The mattress dipped down a little as Nathan crawled over to me, his hands brush through my hair, sending comfortable shivers down my spine. He feels so good, with whatever he does, how could I ever turn away from him? I laid on my back, looking up at him. "What am I supposed to do now?", my voice is rough as the words scrape my throat. "Things will get better again, believe me. Friends have fights every once in a while.", his warm hand touches my cheek. "This is the first time in 16 years that Claire and I have a fight.", that's true, we were always on the same page about everything, there was no need for us to fight.

"There is a first time for everything I guess.", he shrugged, still looking at me with so much care in his eyes that it's starting to crush me. I push his hand out of my face and sit up straight. "Nathan, I don't think I deserve this. I don't think I deserve you. I've been a horrible friend to Claire and I don't even know how I'm going to fix it. But I don't think we should continue like this, you can do so much better than having to be stuck with me.", these words hurt, they hurt so badly that I wanted to hit myself.