{ Hickeys m.g.c. }

{ Chapter 15 }

"Mum' gone."

The words rang through my ears as I collapsed on the floor holding Luke. Time seemed to have slowed down as all I remember was us laying on the floor. My parents rushed towards us trying to find out what was wrong. I struggled to tell them what happened from the choking feeling in my throat. "Mom, Liz is gone." Slowly she comes crashing down next to us and my dad is crouched next to her. We all weep in the living room with a heavy feeling in our chest.

Finally my dad brings up my mom and takes her upstairs to their bedroom while I stay with Luke. His head rests on my lap as I lean back on the wall, stroking his hair. Tears are still streaming down both of our faces and I wipe each one that falls off of his and I can't take my eyes off his dull glassy eyes. Earlier they were filled with joy and life and sparkled but now they were lifeless. I started thinking about how life would now be without mom, I wondered if he had planned anything after she left.

He knew, actually we all knew, something was wrong with Liz. For a while she had coughing fits and soon she coughed up blood. Jack was the first to notice and took her immediately to the hospital. She had formed cancer in her lungs and they said unless she started treatment right away or else she may not have a good chance of surviving. So they had to perform surgery and for a while after she was fine. The coughing stopped. The blood was gone. But it all happened again. Mom and Luke was hit hard with the news. Mom and Liz knew each other since the beginning of time as it seems, best friends throughout elementary, high school, college. I hurt to see my mom's reaction to her getting the news, but she pushed through with her. Somehow Liz was able to get through the 3 months of nonstop leukemia and it had bought her more time. But not enough. Not enough time to see Luke graduate. Not enough to attend Jack's wedding. There wasn't enough time.

-

I sat in my car waiting. I brought Luke to the hospital to see his mother and I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to stare at an unhealthy lifeless capsule to be the last memory I had of her. I stare out of the window, looking at the drops of water falling from the dark clouds. It didn't help living in Oregon when stuff like this happens, but what do you expect living in a state with one of the most highest suicide rates. After a while I hear a knock on my window I unlock the car but instead of it being Luke it was Calum. I quickly wipe my face not wanting him to see me like this. Especially not like this.

"Hey bud what's up?" I reach back up to my face trying to look ok as possible.

"I'm sorry Cass. I am so, so, so sorry." I smile at him weakly at his sympathy.

"Don't apologize Cal, none of this is your fault. You couldn't have done anything," I stare at my hands whispering, "no one can." His head snapped up.

"It is my fault!" Surprised I jumped a little. "I could've said something but I didn't. This is my fault!"

Now he started breaking down and crying. I reached and help his face.

"What do you mean it was your fault?" I looked him in the eyes which were red now. "Calum, what happened?" Immediately he flew back as if I said something wrong. Slowly I asked again, "Calum, I need you to tell me what happened." As if he was snapped out of a trance, he looks up as if he was going to finally reply but instead he left my car. Unlocking my door I took a step outside, I walked up to him and turned him around. "Calum, what the fuck happened!" By now I was a complete mess, even worse than earlier, not even caring anymore. Finally he looked down at me.

"I have to go Casey, tell Jess that this isn't her fault it's mine." After he ran towards the line of trees which were the entrance to the forest. I fell to my knees in the parking lot, drenched from the rain. In the distance I see Luke running towards me calling out my name, but before I could turn to look at him I collapse.