Blend (Kellic)

Chapter 5

It was a Monday morning that I had made my appointment to see the doctor. I always chose Mondays because everyone is at work, catching up on anything and everything they forgot to do over the weekend. Or, they are sleeping in because the weekend just wasn't enough to cover it for them.

So with that I got up and got dressed to go see my doctor. I ate a small healthy breakfast, then I left the house. I caught a cab all the way there, and once I made it, I got out and walked into the lobby so I could check in.

Usually I would go to the clinic for this, but I also want to get a check up since its been a while. I check into the lobby, and go to the fourth floor. I roam the hallways trying to remember where it is I'm supposed to go, and I soon find it.

I enter the waiting room and check in there as well. There are only two other people here, a couple. They look to be in their late 20's, maybe early 30's. I took a seat far away from them, on the opposite side of the room. They were having a little conversation about sports teams, something I don't particularly have a taste for. I'd much rather talk about the best actors.

They were called into the room by the nurse who was working there, and the person who was in before had checked out and left. It was just me alone in the room left to think. I thought about Matty and his words. He really was an ass hole and as much as I willed myself not to think back on it, I keep doing it.

"Mr. Quinn, come with me," the nurse said. I snapped out of my trance and followed her back through the door. She measured my height. 5'8". And then for the dreaded scale to measure my weight. 133.

"Wow you are far too skinny! You need to gain weight," the nurse exclaimed, scrunching up her face. I don't know who to listen to because while some people tell me I let myself go, some think I'm too skinny. This is why I shouldn't listen to people, but sometimes it's hard not to. Everything they say has an effect on me.

"Yeah," was all I said in response to her as she took me back to the room and sat me on the bed that was covered with a line of thin tissue paper.

She asked me some questions and entered them into the computer system. I waited until my doctor came in. Dr. Carlile is the best doctor around. He's also the one of the hottest. I've tried to get him into bed, but he's married with a kid, so it's hard. Especially since I see him to get tested for std's and what not, he probably doesn't trust me.

Can't be a good whore if you ain't clean.

"Kellin, my buddy. In for the regular I see," he said in his raspy voice that seems to harmonize me into oblivion.

"Yup the usual," I say. We go about the tests as we always do. I get the results that I'm clean after waiting for about an hour. I check out of the hospital and make my way to the elevator to see someone who seems to be showing up a lot in my timeline.

"You are everywhere, I swear," I said to the guy who ran into me the other day.

"Oh, what a coincidence to see you here," he said.

"What? Just because I am a prostitute doesn't mean I can't go to the doctor," I said to mess with him. He tensed up immediately and his eyes got slightly larger as he started to speak:

"That wasn't what I was implying. I was just saying that-"

"Relax, I'm messing with you," I cut him off. It was really cute to watch him try and redeem himself.

"Oh. Oh okay," he said and put a smile on his face and he started to relax.

"So what brings you here?" I say.

"Check up," he says as the elevator doors open. He gestures for me to go first, and I do, thanking him.

"Well that seems reasonable," I said pressing the button for the lobby.

"What about you? Why are you here?"

"I have to regularly get checked so I don't get or spread stds," I said kind of sadly. The harshness of the situation really amplifies when said out loud to an acquaintance.

"That's right. Sometimes I forget what you do," he says as the elevator comes to a stop and opens.

"What do you mean?"

"Well. I don't really see people for their job because a lot of people only do their job because they want money. They aren't doing it because they are happy," he explains.

"I am happy with what I do though," I say as we exit the front doors of the hospital.

"Are you sure about that?" He said, and I stopped in my tracks

Am I happy with what I do?

For as long as I've been doing this, I thought I was happy. I thought that no other job could fit my dream job description. I thought I wasn't meant for anything greater, or anything lesser. So that's why I always convinced myself that I was happy, but now looking on it, I realize that I don't know if I'm happy or not. I've mask emotions enough to make it so that I don't even know if I'm happy doing what I do.

"Yeah. I'm sure," I say. I only said it because I don't want him to think he had such a big affect on me.

"Really think about it though, because you could always change if you want," he said.

"Yeah, I know. But for now I'm fine."

"Okay. Well I have to go to work now, so I'll see you around I guess," he says and waves me off.

That night I lay in bed thinking about what the man who had ran into me said. I had slipped out on going with the guys tonight. I told them that I can't do anything until the doctor gave me the okay even though that was a lie. I just wanted to stay home because the way that man made me feel, it made me feel valid. He made me feel like a human.

When I'm doing my job, I'm merely an object used for pleasure. I suffice as nothing more. That's why when I'm with Oli it makes me feel better. Not necessarily happiness, because I've only known this guy for a few days and he already makes me feel better then Oli ever could.

His words really got to me. I couldn't help but feel like that was all I could think about. All it took was one guy to make me question everything I've ever known.

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I'm so sorry for not updating this week. Its just been a really bad week for me. I had an allergic reaction to something but I still dont know what, and there was a bomb threat at my school and blah blah blah. But thanks to those few people who are reading this cuz it means a lot