First Comes Friendship

Chapter 12: Breaking her Heart Slowly

A/N Warning, there is some mature content in the middle of the chapter.

It was not like I could change who I was overnight. I was never the type of guy to settle down. Before her the thought of being with only one woman had never crossed my mind. She was the first person that I allowed myself to feel something, other than my family of course. She never judged me for bringing so many girls back to my place. She knew that the thought of being exclusive with someone made my skin crawl, but somehow for her I had tried to change all of that.

Since our last conversation about coming out as a couple to our friends, Elle and I had spent less and less time together as our school work took a more pivotal place in our lives. When we were together, things were great at first, but as time went on, I could feel that there was something bothering her and she often went home after sex, leaving me alone, craving her company or anybody's company for that matter. A few times I went out grabbed a drink, instead of doing my school work. On these occasions I had often chatted up random girls, but nothing more, never crossing the line as I had long ago promised not only myself, but to Maggie that I would never hurt Elle again. But one night, after trying to see Elle and failing to, I went out to these trendy bar, drank too much and went back to my old ways. As soon as I realized what I had done, I felt ashamed of myself and told myself that I would never do it again, hoping that Elle would never find out about it, but luck was not on my side and she did. Perhaps it was the universe's way to punish me for my sins.

A couple of days after my "affair", Elle showed up at my place, unannounced and all flustered. She did not even take the time to say hi to me, she just dove right into the subject and I could hear the anger in her voice. Deep down I knew that she had found out.

"So I heard that you were flirting with this blond girl from the new bar on Saint-Laurent." She was fuming.

Who could have told her about this? I had not seen anyone I knew that night.

"Where did you hear that?" I was playing the innocent card, trying to hide the shock in my voice as I spoke.

"Does it really matter? 'Cause to me what really matters is the fact that you were kissing her on the neck, and her hand was practically in your pants when you two were spotted leaving together last week!"

I could not believe someone had seen us, I was so careful, I went somewhere where I knew no one would know me. How did this happen? I tried to remain calm and I attempted to put my hand on her shoulder, but she pushed me away.

"Don't touch me!" She hissed as if she couldn't bear to be touched by me after finding out what I had done.

"Look it's not what you think..." well maybe it was, but I had not meant for anything to happen and I felt sorry for it.

There were tears in her eyes and it killed me to think that they were there because of me and what I had done.

"It's not what I think? Don't take me for a fool David, at least be honest with me you owe me that, after all we've been through it's the least you can do for me." She was sobbing by then and her hands shaking in anger.

I got agitated myself and could barely control my own emotions.

"Fine! So what if I left with her? We never spend any time together anymore and we never discussed being exclusive or anything, so technically I can do what I ever I want!" Technically it was the truth, but I knew that Elle thought that we were exclusive and truly, we should have been.

Elle was clearly hurt by what I had just said. Her voice was shaky.

"Well, I'm sorry for believing that we were exclusive when you said you wanted to be with me and only me that we didn't need to define our relationship to anyone, that we knew what we meant to each other. I'm sorry for having to spend time studying instead of getting screwed by a guy who refuses to go public with our relationship. I'm sorry I ever trusted you. I'm sorry I ever fell for you. I'm sorry I ever met you." She almost choked on her last words. "I was fine again after all these years, I thought I could trust and love again, but I guess I was a fool for ever believing that things could be different with you"