Unattainable

Chapter 6: Halloween and A Relationship?

"Hey guys," I said as I walked up.

"Hey Amber," Anthony and Sarah said. Brandon looked up she I spoke. He began to walk over to me.

"Hi," he said, looking into my eyes.

"Hi," I responded. We continued looking into each others eyes until we heard a familiar voice.

"Oh my God, you guys are so weird!" exclaimed Tiffany.

"Well it's nice to see you too Tiffany," I replied. "I'm good thanks for asking. How are you?" I asked her, Brandon laughing with me.

"Shut up Amber," Tiffany said, playfully glaring at us.

"Hey guys, we're leaving soon," Sarah yelled over the talking group. We began to walk across the street, Sarah and Anthony leading us. Tiffany, Brandon, and I were at the back of the group.

We walked all around Sarah's neighborhood, Sarah and Anthony being all lovey-dovey. Tiffany kept yelling over the group to complain to them. After we stopped at one house, Brandon began to walk slower. I, walking next to him, also began to slow down. Soon, we were at the very back of the group, Tiffany in front of us.

"Hey, do you want to annoy Tiffany?" he whispered to me.

"Yeah!" I replied excitedly.

"Okay, just follow my lead," he whispered back. We caught back up to the group before it looked too suspicious that we were planning something.

As we approached the next house, Brandon gave me a meaningful look. I understood what he meant; this was the house that we were going to put out plan into action. We get in the line that our group made to go up to the house. Brandon didn't dress up, so he was just walking with us. When Sarah and Anthony went up to the door, Brandon called Tiffany.

"Hey Tiffany, look!" he called to her. As she turned to him, Brandon pulled me in for a hug. I hurriedly began to hug him back before Tiffany turned completely around.

"Ugh," she said as she saw us. "Can't you couples keep it in for one night?" she asked us. We began laughing at her. "What?" she asked. "It's true."

"Sure Tiffany, sure," Sarah told her. Tiffany just rolled her eyes in response.

Soon, we all began to get tired, as our candy bags got heavier, and cold as the weather got cooler. We decided to walk back to Sarah's. When we all got back, we went into Sarah's room to go through our candy, and trade what we didn't want. Obviously Brandon and I sat next to each other. I texted my mom that we were back and going through our candy. She responded simply saying that she was picking Tiffany and I up in ten minutes.

We went through our candy as fast as we could, but too soon, it felt like, my mom came to pick us up. I hugged Brandon and said goodbye, sad that this day, this wonderful day that I had, was ending.

Months passed. By now it was mid January and everyone was preparing for midterms. Brandon and I were still together, however, no progress was made in our relationship since we got together. We hadn't kissed, even though he said he wanted to. We had an opportunity but we were with his parents in the car and he wanted me to make the first move. Call me old fashioned, but I want my first kiss to be initiated by the guy. We never held hands we only hugged, which I did with all my other friends so it wasn't anything special.

Midterm week came and I was nervous. I had midterms in seventh grade, but in eighth grade, they cancelled all middle school midterms except for "high school"classes like foreign languages and the highest math class for eighth graders. The schedule was also different that what I was used to. During midterms and finals, we had an open campus schedule meaning that we only had to be there when we had a test to take.

The first day of midterms, I had to be there all day as well as Brandon. We sat at lunch together along with Sarah. Brandon was unusually quiet during lunch and kept sharing glances with Sarah. I was massively confused and when I was about to ask what was going on, Brandon handed me a small notebook and asked me to read it.

As I read it, I was surprised with the content of it. I was reading his biggest secret. This notebook was passed between him and Sarah. It talked about his life and how he got through by burning the pads of his fingers. I knew his life was bad in the past. He told me about some things that happened, like his friend killing himself and how he had considered suicide at one point after that. I didn't know however, that things were this bad now. I finished reading right as the bell rang. I gave him back his notebook and stood up as he did the same. He opened his arms, as though asking how I felt about this. I immediately gave him a hug. I didn't care that all that had happened to him, he was still the same Brandon.

We then left to go to our exams. That night I texted him. He seemed surprised that I was texting him after finding out his secret. I told him that he was still the same to me, that nothing had changed for me.

The next day, I didn't have to come in for the first exam, so I stayed home for a little while before going in. As I walk to my exam, I see Tiffany walking toward a locker bay area. I dropped off my books since we still had ten minutes or so and found her talking to Anthony and Brandon.

"Hey guys!" I said as I joined them and hugged Brandon.

"Where were you this morning?" he asked me.

"Oh, I didn't have an exam until now, so I came in late," I told him. We all went our separate ways to our classes to take our exams since the bell was about to ring.

After my exams, my mom picked me up from school. I texted Brandon, but I never got a reply. I checked it every so often, but never got any texts. By now it was late and I had to take a shower.

After I got out and dressed, I checked my phone, not expecting to see anything. I saw a text and became excited until I saw that it was Sarah.

Sarah: hey r u ok?

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I wondered to myself. I closed the text without responding. I saw that I still had four unread messages and they were all from Brandon. The first was a reply to my "hey" from earlier. The other three were one message but separated. I began to read the text.

Brandon: hey... So I have something I want to say. It's going to be hard but I have to say it... Ok... Here goes... I don't think I like you enough anymore. It's not that I don't like you... I do I'm just not sure it's enough anymore... I'm so sorry. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to say. I'm sorry...

"What the hell," I thought, dropping my phone on my dresser in shock.