Jacie (completed)

Yellow Moon

If you could be anything, anything at all, what would you be?
How would you live?
If you could be a star, the size of a planet, would you want to be a
Yellow Moon?

He wrote. Yellow Moon was a code word he used with her. Ever since she told him her secret, and he responded, she'd stopped talking to him.

She felt it would be wrong. (Or it was to save her from crying at school, which often happened.)

Whenever she felt the sting in her eyes and the lump in her throat, she asked to go to the bathroom and cried silently as she ran.

But if she used up her passes, she would sit in her chair and put her face into the crook of her elbows on her desk. She wouldn't dare let him see.

But now ...

As the eyes close
and the heart stops,
the body slows,
and the true color shows.

Even when your heart is blue,
you can still feel happy.
Even when you eyes are sad,
you can still be happy.

Your skin isn't paper don't cut it. Your face isn't a mask don't hide it. Your size isn't a book don't judge it. Your life isn't a film don't end it.

She read the quote as her demons ate her joy away. Her friend tried to comfort her. "---cie, it's okay. You and him can still be friends."

"This isn't about him anymore!" She pushes her friend away and storms off. "It's about all of them." She whispers.

She pulls her hood over her hair and takes off her glasses. She can't see, but it doesn't matter. She doesn't want to be noticed anymore. She doesn't want to know him or any of the other boys anymore.

^

At home in her room, she closes her eyes and takes two deep breaths. On her thighs, a place no one will see, she takes a small blade.

"I cant do this..." She throws the blade away from her.

She picks it back up and cuts small lines on her legs.

Years later...

She smokes a cigarette in an alley, alone. When she finishes the cigarette she sits down on the pavement.

*

She open her eyes, holding the blade above her legs. She puts it down, gets up and walks away.