What is it she could possibly see
She's the one with the competence I've never had
As gentle and warm as the smiling spring afternoon sun
Ambitions and dreams as vast and depth of the northern lights
As thoughtful as much as the wind brushes every tree
As optimistic as a chittering creek
Adventurous as the mountain is high
And as cuddly as foxes in their den
And as loving and accepting as dusk meets the night
As stable as the silence
What could she possibly see
She has the competence I've never had
Succeeding in areas I've only been expected to
In many ways she is someone I wish I was
I hardly know what to say
Or how to say such anything of this sort
Awful at verbalizing how I feel
Afraid I will sound this or that way
I cannot seem to say even half the things I wish I could
I'm interested in the always
But I know fate may have other plans
Just as similar as we are different
I can't help but feel as if I still stand in the shadows in everything I do
Struggling much more than the most
Not quite ever reaching the marks that are baseline standards
Always fucking up
One day I would like to love someone
Love someone forever
To know who I'm waking up next to tomorrow and know who I'm waking up next to next year
To have that bond
My greatest desire I suppose
Is to have that love
I believe your lover should be your best friend
And I do believe in soul mates traveling through time and space and dimensions reincarnating many times always searching for each other
What am I even rambling about
It's all such a fantasy
Things don't seem to ever be working out for me
People say all kinds of good things but end up saying farewell anyway
Even though I'd drop everything to better suit their lives
Maybe for the best I don't know
Part of my philosophy is that everything happens for a reason
Don't worry about to much
Just keep smiling
Everything will be how it will be
How do I feel about this wonderful woman who has been on my mind
I could very well see a forever indeed
I would like to say one day
That I love her
But we all know there are some things I never say lightly
And avoid saying prematurely
I think your lover should be your best friend
And someone you experience life with
One laugh and one tear at a time
Nothing rushed
I'm carful and sometimes hesitant
Not loving quickly
As for when I love
I love deeply
And that can put me in a very vulnerable position
See I sound stupid
