Why can't we go back to the start?

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~Jayy's Pov~


We haven't talked for an entire week now. Andy refuses to listen to a word I say nor does he even want to look at me. I mean, I get that I ruined the whole surprise of him proposing to me but was he really this upset over it? I tried apologizing multiple times but he just walks away before I even have the chance to speak.

I tried everything but he just ignores me. We still share our bunk but he won't say anything to me. He won't let me touch him either. It sucks. I finally decided to just sleep on the couch, even if it fucks up my wrist more than it already is. Quite honestly, I could care less at this point. I just wanted to give Andy his space right now, no matter the cost.

I walked through the bunk alley briefly to see if Haley wanted to go for a walk with me. As I passed the bunk Andy was in, I heard soft noises from within. I shrugged it off and stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching as Haley did her makeup and hair.

"Hey, Jayy." She greeted.

"Hello." I said.

"I don't know what to do with my makeup." She said.

"I take that as my queue to help?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded. I chuckled and walked in, laying all of the makeup out in front of me as Haley sat on the counter. I clucked my tongue as I thought of what I should do. Then, I went to work. I grabbed brush after brush to mix the different eye shadows together as they were applied. Once I had finished, I stood back and admired my work. Haley looked in the mirror and smiled.

"Thank you." She said.

"Not a problem." I said.

"So, what's on the agenda today?" She asked.

"Well, we have a show later today and Dahvie and I have an interview before that. And you have a show before that." I reminded her.

"Yeah but I meant before all that." She chuckled.

I shrugged. "I was gonna ask if you wanted to go get some coffee or something since its muggy in here."


"Sure. Let's go." She said, grabbing her purse.

"Do you mind if I come?" A voice to my left asked.

I looked and there stood Andy. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Haley. She looked between the two of us and shrugged.

"Only if you two don't get into an argument." She said.

"I promise." Andy said.

"No guarantees." I mumbled so that only Haley could hear.

She looked at me and sighed.

"Let's go." She said and walked through the bus to the door.

Andy and I both followed but we kept our distance from each other. I caught up to Haley and walked next to her. I heard Andy sigh but he continued to walk behind us. We found a Starbucks a few blocks away from the buses and we all got our coffees. Then, we just walked around the area. I don't know if Haley or Andy could sense it, but all I felt was tension between all of us. I stopped walking. They both walked a few steps ahead before they too, stopped.

"You okay, Jayy?" Haley asked, concerned.

"I can't take it anymore..." I trailed off, looking directly at Andy.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I can't stand not being able to talk to you anymore. It's driving me insane." I said. "I can't stand not being able to hold you in my arms or kiss you good night or-"

"Okay, I get it. You don't need to continue." He cut me off.

"You sure about that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He nodded.

"See, there's my problem. You won't talk to me. All you do is either walk away or just give a simple nod." I said.

"Well, I'm sorry if I don't have anything to say to you." He said bitterly.

I didn't know how to react at that point. I couldn't tell whether he had meant what he said or if he said it just to shut me up. Well, I guess he meant it if he said it. I stared at him for a minutes before I just turned and walked away. I heard Haley call after me but I just kept walking. I walked back to the bus and walked on. Dahvie looked up at me and smiled. But his smile faded when he looked at my face. He stood and walked over to me.

"What happened?" He asked, wiping tears from my face that I didn't know where even there.

"I'm starting to wonder why Andy and I even got together." I mumbled.

"Why?" He asked.

"Well, you know how he's been ignoring me for the past week. He just told me he didn't have anything to say to me." I explained.

"Well, I-" He was cut off by the bus door opening.

Andy and Haley walked on. And just like I expected, Andy walked right passed me and straight to the bunk alley. He walked out a few minutes later with all of his things and made his way off of the bus. Well, that shows how much he cares. I pulled away from Dahvie and followed him off of the bus.

"Where are you going?" I questioned.

"Where's it look like?" He asked.

"Okay, there's no need for an attitude, I was just asking." I said, defensively.

"Home." He answered.

"So that's it then?" I asked.

"Yeah it is." He said.

"Please, just give me a chance to fix this." I pleaded.

"Jayy, stop-" I cut him off.

"I promise I will fix it." I said.

"I don't want you too." He growled, turning to look at me finally.

I stared at him.

"I just need time, okay? I need to think about things." He said.

"You say that every time, Andy. When are you finally going to realize that time doesn't always fix things on its own?" I asked.

I could feel the tears running down my face, blurring my vision.

"You know what? I'm done." I said before walking back on the bus.

I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it. I slid down the door and broke down. This is exactly why I don't like relationships. Then again, it's technically my fault for questioning everything. But honestly, do you blame me? The last time I woke up to find Andy not there, he came back with his ex only to tell me that he'd rather be with her than me. Fuck my fucking feelings. I should've just stayed single.

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