When We Broke-up

7

HER

I gasped when I heard him say that. I want to hug him and tell him that I still love him but I can't. Hindi ko kaya, hindi ko 'pa' kaya. I need to be angry at him, he hurted me, tyaka ngayon sasabihin niya na mahal niya pa ako?

"Why are you doing these things? Huh RJ?!"

I shouted then napayuko lamang siya. Nahihirapan na ako sa mga sitwasyon. Ayoko na, bakit pa kasi ako nagmahal ng isang RJ? Bakit pa kailangan ko pang masaktan? I want to hug him and tell him that I really really love him but no, ayoko nang masaktan. Ayokong-ayoko na...

Mas lalo pang lalaki ang sitwasyon kung papairalin ang pride.

"Please Meng, love me again. I know I'm too stupid to hurt you. Nagsisi na ako."

I glared at him and napayuko. Ayoko na...

"Ayoko na RJ..."

I whispered then napabagsak ang mga balikat niya. I looked away then humarap na lang sa kabilang side. Ilang hours na rin ay landing na kami sa Philippines.

"Meng..."

"RJ, please stop this nonsense . Hindi ka nakakatulong..."

I deep breathe then Looked at him, I saw tears flowing down on his cheeks. Gusto kong pahidin ang mga luha na yun and tell him na huwag siyang umiyak kasi mahal ko pa siya...pero ayoko na talaga.

"Anong ayaw mo na?"

"Ayoko ng mahalin ka."

He nodded na walang expression na kanyang mga mukha. Gusto kong maawa pero nanguguna ang galit ko sa kanya. I want to be angry at me but it fades away when I'm with him. Like this. I should hate him but I can't.

"At gusto ko na ngayon na ang huli nating pag-uusap."

I said coldly then he nodded na wala paring expression sa mukha niya. It's a good thing, matitigilan niya na ako. At madali na akong makakamove-on sa kanya. Madali ko na siyang makakalimutan.

"M-Meng.."

"RJ, kakasabi ko lang diba?!"

He stared at me, I want to cry but I shouldnt. Ayoko na maging duwag sa harapan niya, ayoko na magmukhang duwag dahil sa kanya. He doesnt deserve a girl like me. I know that. Sumandal na lang ako. I took a deep breathe and look away.

********

HIM

I want to cry, mahal na mahal ko parin siya. Ang hirap mahalin ang taong hindi ka na pala mahal, lalo't sinaktan mo noon. I'm so stupid before, sana lang talaga. If I can go back in time, sana hindi na lang talaga ako nakipaghiwalay...

"M-Meng..."

I saw her tears flows down on her cheeks, I want to wiped it pero siya ang umiwas at sinamaan ako ng tingin...

"Stop it RJ..."

She sobbed. Karamihang pasahero dito sa eroplano ay tulog na. Kami na lang yata ang hindi...I cried and hugged her. Sa una ay nagpupumiglas siya pero maya-maya ay tumigil na siya sa pagpupumiglas niya.

"P-Please Meng...."

"This will be the last time RJ."

She said coldly, napakalamig ng boses niya. Sana magkita pa kami...sana.

"N-No, hindi ko hahayaang mangyari yun Meng.."

I need her, I can't even live without her. I want her, I want to wake-up with her, laugh with her. When I see her, this pain fades away.

"B-Bakit ba napakakulit mo RJ?"

She even glared her eyes at me, my spines shivered when she do that. But I didn't mind it anyways. I want her to be back at my arms again. I want her to be back...

"M-Meng..."

"Maine is my name--not Meng. Were not even close so stop calling me Meng."

I took a deep breathe and stared at her, I saw her gulped and I chuckled when I saw her doing that...closure.

"Oh really? Not even close huh?--so nangyari sa atin 2 years ago ay wala lang?"

"Wala lang? Oo wala lang..."

I smirked then I grab her chin and face it to me. She flushed then I chuckled--so Its my turns now...

Inilapit ko ang mukha ko sa mukha niya. Konti na lang ay mahahalikan ko na siya. Mas inilapit ko pa, I saw her closed her eyes because she thought I'm going to kiss her even I want to.

"You want me to kiss you?"

She opened her eyes and swallowed. I smirked at her and gave her a peck of kiss on her lips, God I miss her...I miss her lips.

"RJ...."

She whispered. I smiled then I saw her sobbing, I hugged her and she hugged me back, unti-unti na rin siyang bumibitaw sa pagkaka-akap naming dalawa...

"Let me go RJ, p-please..."

She begged. I want to say no, but if that's her happiness. Maybe I'll let her go...

"I can't.."

"You need to, I'm not the one for you please just let me go..."

I kissed her forehead and I saw her tear flows that on her cheeks. I wiped it and she smiled...

"I wouldnt, I want you back again..."

She took a deep breathe and shook her head...

******

HER

I can't, hindi ko pa kayang magpatawad. Hindi ko pa kayang magmahal ulit, I still love him but but mind forced me not to. Saan siya nakakakuha ng lakas ng loob para sabihin lahat lahat?

"Hindi ko kaya RJ..."

"Hindi pa?"

I look through his eyes, hopeful. Umaasa siya na babalik ako sa kanya. Gusto ko ngunit ayaw ko rin, takot na akong masaktan, takot na rin ang mapagiwanan.

"A-Ayoko na.."

Finally! I said those words. I look through his eyes, pain. He's in pain while me? I don't know, pain and overwhelmed at the same time...

"I can't let you go Maine. I wouldnt let you go..."

I swallowed then nagtamaan kami ng tingin, sa akin ay masama sa kanya naman ay sakit. Umaasa siya na mapapatawad ko siya, I want to forgive him but I'm afraid.

"M-Maine..."

"Hayaan mon na ako RJ, masaya na ako..."

He took a deep breathe and nodded. He smiled sadly and hugged me so tight. I hugged him back, baka ito lang ang gusto niya para pakawalan na ako...

"O-Okay, I already know that youre happy without me. Masakit man pero kakayananin."

I smiled sadly and nodded....

The lights went on, everyone wakes-up. Pa-landing na pala kami. Nasa Manila na pala ako...I took a deep breathe and inayos na ang mga gamit...

I saw him staring at me, He smiled and I shook my head, bakit ako naguguilty? He hurted me on the first place. Wala dapat ako ika-guilty. Siya ang unang nang-iwan. Siya ang unang nanakit. Siya ang unang sumuko habang ako ay nag-hahabol siya wala siyang pakialam. And that hurts me so much.

This pain wouldnt end.