When We Broke-up

14 (PAST)

HER

1

Clothes, scattered around. All I can do is to cry, no hindi niya ako lolokohin. Hindi niya ako sasaktan diba? I love him.

"Ohhhhhh....."

No, hindi niya kaya tong gawin. I opened the door and I saw them. Fucking. It hurts, damn hurt. I looked at him, he seems enjoying it.

Having sex with somebody else? Even he have a girlfriend which is me. Good job RJ, you're not loyal at all. You let them seduce you.

Tama nga sinabi nila, kulang kami sa 'physical' thingy but he doesn't need to fuck somebody else right? Just because he does have his 'needs' he doesn't need to cheat on me.

Pero hindi, I won't break-up on him.

******

2

I cried when I saw 'him' kissing that girl whom he met on the bar last week. He really are cheating on me, nasasakal na ba siya sa relasyon na ito?

Pinagsawaan niya na ba ako? I guess he is, hindi naman niya ito gagawin kung hindi niya na ako mahal diba? I tried to call him but no, he rejected all my calls.

It hurts, pero no. I love him and I do believe he still loves me, kahit 10% lang. I know and I believe he still loves me. I can feel it.

But no, I won't break-up on him.

*******

3

I saw Ate Pat, she smiled sadly. Alam kong may sasabihin siya hindi maganda. She patted my hand and sitted beside me.

"Meng, may sasabihin ako..."

I took a deep breathe, huwag kang iiyak. Malakas ka Maine, hindi ka iiyak. Mahal mo siya diba? Hindi pa naman siya nakikipag break. Diba?

"Ano yun Ate Pat?"

"May nakakita daw kay Alden na may kasamang ibang babae. Papasok sa Motel...."

I'm so lost inside my own heart. Don't hold on to someone because you think there will be no one else. You've got to believe in yourself, and that you're worth more than being repeatedly hurt by someone who doesn't really care. Believe that someone will see what you are really worth and treat you the way you should be treated.

Sometimes you need to know your place in someone's life, because you might get hurt if you expect too much.

"B-Baka naman friend lang yun diba...?"

"Meng, papasok sa motel? Friend?! Okay lang kung ibang tao pero paano kung fans yun? Edi kakalat ng kakalat hanggang mapunta sa media!"

When you love someone, even though they hurt you and break your heart, you still love them with all the little pieces.

"Maine, ikaw lang ang nasasaktan."

I. Won't. Break-up. On. Him.

******

4

When someone cheats on you, it hurts to the point where you can't hold yourself up. Knowing that they already have someone new, even though they aren't as good quality as you were. Knowing that you gave them the love, and care, it just makes no sense on why they did this to you. The world is a fucked up place, especially when you have people like this.

It hurts to realize that the person whom you want to be with is the one who is most happy without you.

"Divina."

"Hi Alden!"

Kalyeserye, mas gugustuhin ko pang maging isang Divina dahil minamahal ako ni Alden. Pero si RJ? He seems happy without me, cheating in me.

"Mainenamahal kita Divina."

"MaAlden din kita..."

It was all an act, I can feel it. I know you still love me RJ, please don't fall out of love on me, please I'm begging. I love you, do still love me too?

*poot poot*

Thank God, tapos na ang Kalyeserye. Tapos na rin ang pagpapanggap niya na mahal na mahal niya ako. Pero ako? I love him but it hurts, I still love him.

"RJ, can we go out tonight? Please magdate naman tayo Love..."

"Busy ako ngayon Maine..."

Oo, busy ka sa mga babae mo. Busy ka sa trabaho mo. Bakit mo pa ako ginawang girlfriend mo kung wala ka palang time?

"Oh, I love you Love..."

"Okay, bye."

He left, he didn't even kiss me nor hug me. Unti-unti na rin siyang nagiging cold. Ito na talaga ang pinaka kinakatakutan ko...

Pero hindi parin ako makikipag-break...

*****

5

I've heard no one is perfect until you fall in love with them, but it's amazing how unperfect someone gets when you fall out of love.  

"Love..."

"Maine..."

I hugged him, he didn't hugged me back. But it's okay, a long as I am with him. As long he's my boyfriend, it's okay.

"Love naman, tinatakot mo na ako eh. Bakit ka ba nagiging cold? May problema ba tayo?"

Oo, niloloko ka na nga eh. Pero no, I know he still love me. I know he still love me. I can feel it.

There's always a moment when he start to fall out of love, whether it's with a person or an idea or a cause, even if it's one he only narrate to himself years after the event: a tiny thing, a wrong word, a false note, which means that things can never be quite the same again.

"M-Maine---"

"It's Love, please call me Love. Not Maine please, you're creeping me out!"

Whatever the situation may be. Don't ever be cold to someone you care about. Indifference and unanswerable question hurts more than angry words. He's so cold and I don't know why!

"Maine, may sasabihin ako sayo..."

Is he going to break-up with me? My heart as gone cold like the winters blow, My heart has broken into pieces and lost in the woods and each piece of it will never be found, My desperate shouting for love has disappeared, and the calling for happiness has faded away, And now, he given me a reason to not fall into lies.

"A-Ano yun?"

My voice cracked, my hands are shaking, my face is sweating and I don't know what to do! Sometimes I wonder how people can become so insensitive. You show them all your love and yet nothing happens. And how insensitive can we get too. We still love them even if we knew.

"L-Let's b--"

"Are you going to break-up with me?"

Once a person turns cold it's hard to change back into who they used to be. They have to let go of the past, and learn how to trust again.

"No..."

I took a deep breathe, nasasakal na yata siya. Nasasakal na yata siya sa relasyon namin. But I can't let him go. I love him.

I think, he'll be the one who'll let go at the first place.

*****
A/N: shett lang ho, yung ano talaga yung 'faster' nyeta sorry ho! Hindi na ho talaga mauulit. Banal po ako. De chos geh bye!