When We Broke-up

16

First of all, I'm very sorry kasi ngayon lang ako nakapag-update. May mga times kasi na gusto ko lang na magbasa at matulog--just like normal 'kids' do. Even I'm already thirteen. And yeah enjoy my UD.

--

HER

I'm broken, I'm lost so lost. I don't even know what to do. All I wanna do is to cry all day and locked myself in my room for a long way in hell.

And now? I'm here at Tagaytay, alam na ni Nanay kung nasaan ako. Baka daw tumakas nanaman ako.

I need to be alone. Escaping the first half of the day, escaping shits. I want to relax. I want to be in peace.

Tears don't necessarily mean you are weak, they also mean you are willing to let the hurt flow away and start afresh.

Sometimes, crying is the only way your eyes speak when your mouth cant explain how broken your heart is. My broken heart will heal after a while, my goal is to see him and not cry but smile.

You used to be the reason why I smile every morning, now you're the reason why I cry at night. You are supposed to dry my tears, not cause them. But maybe we're aren't meant to be, and I'll accept that even it hurts right?

"Hey you okay, Miss?"

I saw a guy, may dala siyang panyo at ibinibigay sa akin. Napakunot-noo ako then I realize that I'm crying.

"T-Thanks..."

Kinuha ko yun at ipinahid, I looked at him and he smiled. He doesn't have dimples, he's not like him. But their eyes are so similar.

"By the way, I'm Paul. You are?"

He doesn't know me? Well maybe I'm not that famous, because I'm just an actress before and ran away and now I'm still nowhere to be found.

"Dei. I'm Dei."

"Nice name, your name is unique and I like it."

He looked at me again, tears are words too painful for a broken heart to speak. Siya na ba ang sagot para mawala na lahat ng sakit?

"So Dei, u-uhh why are you crying?"

I'm crying because this pain, bumabalik nanaman ang sakit. Yung durog na durog na pero pinipilit mo paring maibalik sa dati pero hindi na pwede kasi sirang-sira na.

"Nakaka-overwhelmed kasi tignan ang Taal Volcano."

I lied and I saw him chuckled. He's hot, may bigote pero ang gwapo parin tignan, he's taller than me. Taller than 'him'

"I know you're lying, come on Dei. I know may mabigat kang pinagdadadaanan."

"Marunong ka palang magtagalog!"

Hinampas ko siya then He laughed at me and napailing na lang sa kakulitan ko. Napasaya niya ako ngayon and I thanked him later for making me happy.

"Yeah but konti lang. Now tell me, why are you crying?"

"Hindi mo naman kailangan malaman eh."

He faced me and took a deep breathe, I gulped when he looked at me liked that. Nakikita ko larin si RJ sa mga mata niya.

"Lalaki yang iniiyakan mo noh? Right now you can cry to your hearts content. But trust me, someday you will wake and forget about him."

"Thanks Paul."

He's right, when I no longer disturb him or message him, don't wonder where am I or don't think that I stopped loving him, it's just that I am tired of trying and I am thinking of all the time I spent, crying.

"I guess you're okay, so hatid na kita?"

"No thanks Paul, m-may sasakyan akong dala."

He smiled then nodded, he gave his number kapag may emergency nandiyan naman daw siya. Makikinig kung may mabigat akong dala. Or kung gusto ko daw ng kausap nandun naman daw siya.

*****

I may have cried a million times since we haven't been together, but all the times he made me smile is what will remain in my heart forever.

When you have no tears to cry that means your eyes are tired, when you have no anger to show that means your heart is tired.

I'm  gonna sit alone in a quiet room and cry until I cant cry no more. I am tired of all the pain inside and I am tired of all the tears falling from my eyes.
I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of being alone but most of all I'm just tired of being tired.

Memories are always special. Sometimes we laugh by remembering the days we cried. And we cry by remembering the days we laughed. That's Life.
Cry when you need to, then let go when it's time. Don't hang onto painful memories just because you're afraid to forget. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren't worth remembering.

I always knew I'd look back on my tears and laugh, but never knew I'd look back on my laughter and cry.

Never cry for someone who hurt you, instead just smile and say thanks for giving me a chance to find better than you.

It's sad how someone can go from being the reason you wake up smiling, to the reason you cry yourself to sleep.

Although you may not love me, although you may not care. If you shall ever need me, you know that I'll be there. Your love may all be taken, your heart may not be free, but when your heart is broken, you can always lean on me. Ill never stop loving you, I know because I have tried. All the oceans in the world cant hold the tears I've cried.

There's a time where all I want to do is lay here and cry, because the only one who would cheer me up is the one who put me down.