Diseased [Frerard] [Petekey]

Chapter 17

Gerard-

I was watching a movie and sipping on coffee intently. Michael was about to propose to Jane and I was watching the characters so close. This is why when I heard, "Hello?" I jumped, causing the warm coffee to spill on my pajama pants.

I turned around and saw Frank who looked just as surprised as I did. Then I remember that my brother dumped him on me and my confusion was cleared. His bewilderment continued. We had a staring contest for some reason.

"Yeah?" I broke the silence.

"Why am I here? What time is it?" he asked. "Did we...?"

"No", I hopped up as it kicked in what he just asked me. "No, no, no. Mikey said you were literally too tired to function at work, he brought you here".

"Oh shit", he laughed at himself smiling. "Score, now I don't have to be at work".

"Speaking of work, I was actually going to find job apps. I was thinking maybe Starbucks because I'm a coffee connoisseur", I began. "You can go back to work or tag along with me".

"Did Mikey bring me or did I drive?" he asked.

"Mikey brought you", I told him.

"Oh, then my car isn't here. I'll just go with you. Do you have anything other than these awful clothes that I could wear?" he asked.

"Maybe a shirt, but I can't replace the pants. You're way too small", I informed him.

"I can't believe you'd imply that about my junk", he teased.

I was slightly uncomfortable because he actually thought we did it last night. I'm straighter than a circle. Regardless, I giggled at his joke. I hopped up and rummaged through my clothes and quickly found an Iron Maiden shirt for him and flung it at him.

"Nice choice", he laughed as he threw off his shirt and slipped that one on.

I meant to find myself a shirt but.... Those abs. Those tattoos. My head did a "dayum" when I saw it. Okay, maybe there was a little bit of gay in everyone. So what? That didn't mean anything. I just envied him for his perfect body.

I excused myself to change because 1) I was self conscious, and 2) I was also changing pants. 

When I came out, Frank was also intent on the show. 

"Dude, what is this show? It's amazing", he marveled.

"It's called Jane The Virgin", I informed him. 

I had to drag him away from the T.V. to get him to pay attention to what was at hand. I could still barely get him to give me the light of day. Then he glance over at me and he was hooked.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

He nodded his head and we walked out the door together. My next door neighbor (Andy, remember?) was outside smoking. He looked over when I shut the door and raised a single eyebrow.

"You're at his house a lot dude", he nodded towards Frank, who blushed a deep crimson. "You guys dating?"

This made me blush as well. I swear I could hear Frank's heartbeat quicken.

"No, we're not dating", I clarified.

He smiled and nodded, as if to say "Yeah right, you guys are definitely crushing".

This made me defensive for some reason.

"What?" I exploded.

He cowered back a little, even though he was at least five inches taller than me and could definitely beat the hell out of me. 

"Nothing, it's a little joke. I'm sorry", he grimaced.

"Gerard, it's okay dude", Frank whispered. "Let's go".

I took a few deep breaths and realized I took it way out of proportion. He was just teasing. Being an older brother, I should understand that.

"I'm sorry", I addressed before turning with Frank to leave him presence. 

We walked straight through the parking lot and in the direction of the "downtown" area of Belleville. Frank looked back at the parking lot.

"No car?" he asked.

I gulped before answering.

"Nope", I shook my head.

"How long have you lived with Mikey? Did you get fired from your last job?"Frank questioned.

"Two years, and no. I quit", I avowed.

Frank must be thinking a lot of things.

What a lazy asshole. Why doesn't he have a car? Has his brother been supporting him for two entire years like this? Why did this asshole decide to break down at the park yesterday? What an attention seeker. Why would he quit his old job? I'm surprised he's even trying to get a job. And at Starbucks of all places? Could you be any lazier?

Frank did the opposite of what I thought he'd do.

"Things happen", he shrugged.

He understood. I don't know what it was, but this barrier just opened in my heart (and my eyes) and he suddenly seemed like a savior to me. I let out one tear before I realized he may be creeped out by my tears and sucked it up. 

We went from place to place, seemingly for hours, as I picked up job applications here and there. I remembered where I knew the Beebo guy, because he worked at Starbucks. He was there when I asked for an application.

I felt this sudden race of pride for being able to get him and that Ryan guy today. While we were there, we decided to get Starbucks drinks.

"Hello, what can I get for you today?" Beebo asked, smiling.

"Can I get a frappuchino, double java chip please", I requested.

"Can I just get black coffee with extra milk and sugar?" Frank asked.

Suddenly, Beebo looked like he was having war flashbacks. I waved my hand in front of his face to see if he was okay. He snapped out of it and nodded. Without even giving us our total, he got to making our coffee.

We sat down and he served it to us. He gave us a receipt and we gave him enough money to pay for it plus a tip. He thanked us kindly and left back to his station to take more orders.

"Dude must have PTSD with milk or something", Frank laughed. 

Suddenly, I thought he was onto me.

I wanted to get defensive. I was stuck inside my head. I couldn't fathom that he just said that. Maybe it was just a joke? Then the real question came. Why did I (or Mikey) care what anyone thought of my PTSD? I accepted that it was an accident a long time ago. It was just an almost deadly mistake that could have ended badly. I was the only one who even got hurt. What I couldn't accept was that accidents happen and you can be forgiven for them. That's what my PTSD revolved around. The fact that it was an accident that you only get one chance from. Chances are, if that happened again, I'd drown.

I can't even swim. Okay, okay. Don't rub it in. IF I ran, I'd run faster. 

That's when I let it go. I took a few deep breaths and made sure I wanted to tell him this. I don't know why, but I didn't feel like keeping secrets from him. I didn't want to live life in fear that people wouldn't accept it. It's not even that big of a deal! Sometimes, things happen. Sometimes, people understand.

"I have to tell you something", I said.