1974 - A David Bowie Fanfic.

Being Afraid.

November soon came around, and for weeks we grieved heavily... But now that it was November, we had the excuse to celebrate Henry's 12th birthday. I had stayed with dad and Henry since mums death, I called Will often, telling him all the news... And I lied to say David had gone back to the States which seemed to please Will.

"Happy birthday Hen." I smile and pass over his present.

He smiles and opens the neatly wrapped present excitedly, once the paper has been viciously scratched off by the 12-year-old, I see his smile drop which makes me laugh. David smirks and hits my arm playfully to stop laughing.

Henry looks at the 1,000 piece puzzle in disappointment and his eyes turn large and sad like he was about to cry.

"Don't you like it Hen?" I ask with a smug look on me face.

"Uh-" He stutters. "It's nice, thank you, I'll use-" I burst out laughing at his attempts to look pleased about the puzzle.

"Do you want to see your real present now?" David asks him gently.

Henry nods with a big grin again and sighs in relief. David holds his shoulders and walks him towards the back door. "Close your eyes." I whisper to my little brother.

And after some thought, Henry closes his eyes tightly shut. I open the back door onto our small patch of green garden and David guides Henry onto the green.

"Ready," Dad says cheerfully. "Count of 3!"

"1..." All three of us say together.

"2..." The excitement was getting too much for Henry.

"3!" As soon as the sound of three was on our lips, Henry removed David's hands and looked at the present in front of him.

"Surprise!" Dad says and then chuckles.

Henry's eyes widen dreamily at the red 1970's bike in front of him, the blue lightning stripe sticks out like the moon in the skies, beautifully correct for the bike. David always had to add a little bit of Aladdin somewhere.

Henry jumps up and down and runs straight for the bike, kissing the handlebars then sitting on it. "It's from all of us, even mum." I mutter and David curls his hand round my waist and pulls me in protectively.

"But how did you afford it?!" Henry exclaims.

"We all chipped in, even David." Dad says impressed.

"It was nothing, honestly." David says politely, slightly blushing.

Watching my little brother ride his bike, my brain suddenly rushes through a flash back...

Me and David sitting together, drinking tea, Will had the phone... Mum's death... ANGIE.

"David?" I stutter. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course." He smiles and together we walk into the house.

"Do you remember, on the day my mum died, you were just about to tell me something about Angie...? What was it?" I ask hopeful he wouldn't forget.

He quizzes his thoughts for a moment, and for every long second that ticked past my hope soon turned to disappointment...

"Ah!" He finally hits the light bulb of his thoughts. "I must've told you..." He mutters quietly. "Did I not?"

My eyes widen and I grab his hands tightly.

"Me and Angie-"

"Ros! Come here! Quick, look!" My brother shouts from outside and David stops again.

"David, just tell me." I plead.

"We've decided to divorce." He mutters quietly.

His words echo in my head, over and over again... It was finally happening! He was leaving his horrible wife...! He would be free again!

"Oh David! I'm so-"

"Ros," He stops my excitement bluntly. "This divorce isn't happening straight away."

"Why not?" I ask sulking.

"Well Ros, once you have that baby the press will be screaming at your doorstep, if they hear that David Bowie is divorcing his wife Angie, could you even imagine what the papers will have to say?" He growls.

"But I thought you wanted to be with me..." I mutter feeling my heart float heavily down to the bottom of my stomach.

"My darling of course I want to be with you, but you have to understand I'm protecting you and the baby from the publicity you could face... Do you want our child in the papers from the minute he's born?" David says harshly to get his point across.

"So when does this divorce take place then?" I hiss.

"As soon as possible..." David whispers and then kisses my head.

"I love you..." I croak but David sighs shakily.

"I love you too, but I have to return to the States very shortly..." He says sadly, scared of my reaction.

"I understand... It's good of you to even still be here for me..." I sigh but then smile at what I'm about to say. "My dad even approves of you, incredible really..." I smirk.

"Why incredible my little rebel?" He asks smirking back.

"He's never approved of any of my boyfriends, not even of Kevin... Kevin was all mums idea... But dad, he likes you." I smile happily and he reflects my facial expression.

"I don't really want to leave the country again..." He sighs then changed the subject. "So when I go, are you staying here?" David asks putting the kettle on.

"No," I huff and flop into the chair. "I'll go home to Will I suppose."

"Will?" I hear a twang in David's voice, as if he's annoyed that he's heard Will's name...

Are the boys both jealous of each other? Why?

I puzzle to myself and lean my head on David's back and I feel all his muscles relax slightly.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask carefully.

It's silent for a moment then he sniffs: "Nothing." He says bluntly. "I'm just worried, that's all." David says then turns around to me.

"David?" I stroke the honey coloured curls on the back of his neck.

David avoids eye contact with me, and he gulps. "David." I say more sternly and make him look at me. "What are you afraid of...?"

"I'm afraid of losing you..."

"You won't lose me, I'm right here." I smile but he doesn't smile back.

He takes my face in his large hands and my heart melts seeing his beautifully odd eyes.

"No, Ros... I'm afraid I'll lose you... To him."

Will. He's afraid of Will. He's afraid I'll fall in love with him...

David was scared that if he left the country for too long, he'd lose me to William...

But, that's impossible... Me and Will are just, friends...?