"What's wrong with her?" I ask more worried now. "Where is she?"
Another tense moment passes and I can see my dad finding the energy to say whatever needed to be said...!
"Your mother," He says again. "She's got cancer..."
My legs went numb, I could feel nothing but the massive thump in the middle of my chest. I thought it was going to explode it felt so loud, almost deafening in my ears. I couldn't talk, frozen in time. My mother was seriously ill.
"They can sort it right? She'll be ok, won't she?" I ask trying to patch this situation up.
"She's-" He pauses. "The doctors-"
"Dad-"
"It's not good news, I'm afraid." Dad purrs full of regret and sorrow.
"What's that mean?!" I scream, feeling the tears soak my cheeks.
"She doesn't have much time..."
"How long." I sniff and wipe my tears away with my eyes.
"Could be a few years." I can hear the lie in his voice.
"Dad-"
"Weeks..." He finally says and for the first time in my life, I see the old man show a sign of weakness, he had just weeks with his soulmate, his wife.
I burst out crying and run into his arms, he hushes me, trying to stay strong for me so I don't cry even harder, but it was no use! My mother was dying...
She had weeks to live...
"Where is she?" I ask sobbing.
"She's resting." Dad whispers through my hair.
"No she's not." I hear my mother says faintly at the top of the stairs.
My mother looked as white as a ghost, her eyes, no longer a night sparkle but a fading light, a dying light. She was disappearing already... "Mum-" I croak and hold my tears in.
She walks down the stairs slowly, and clearly in pain. She strokes my cheek and my dad steps back awkwardly and coughs. "I'll go pick Henry up from school, he'll be pleased to see you Ros." He smiles but I don't smile back, I'm still haunted by the horrible truth about mum.
The door slams and mums fogged eyes look into mine, I can't help but look away from the dying woman. "I'm sorry mum," I whisper and feel the tears run out the sockets of my eyes again. "I'm sorry I never called, I'm sorry I never came home, I feel so awful and now-"
"Shhh Ros, sweetheart!" She smiles to me and I give her a sorrowful smile back.
"Mum, you're dy-"
"Don't remind me Rosalind Chester." She growls and hide in my invisible shell.
She looks down at my small round stomach. "Pregnant?" She breathes and I nod.
She touches the bump and I jump a little at how cold her white hands are, I soon relax and feel the emotion storm up again inside of me. "You'll never get to meet him or her..."
My mum then begins to cry which makes me cry too. I felt so awful not being here for my family, my brother was only 11! Would my mother even make it to see his 12th birthday?
"Does Henry know?" I ask sadly.
"Yes, we told him last week. He wanted us to call you, but we weren't sure where you were, or what you were up to... How are things with you?"
"Oh, not a lot, just David Bowie getting me pregnant 3 months ago and now I'm living with a friend called Will." I smile, saying it a little sarcastically to lighten the mood.
"What? So David's not even going to help you?!" My mother says angrily and a little shocked.
"He will help, but just on the finance side of it... I could always come home and live with you guys for awhile..."
"No sweetheart, come home closer to the time..." My mum trails off and strokes my hair.
"When's that?" I ask, almost scared to hear the answer.
"It'll be November time..." Mum says softly, I couldn't hear fear in her voice though, she wasn't waiting for death. It was clear she just wanted to enjoy everyday she had left.
I didn't know what to say to her, it was hard... What do you say to someone who has weeks to live? What do you tell them apart from I love you and I'm sorry?
"How long are you staying for?" Mum asks and I'm dragged out my thoughts again.
"Oh, it was just for the weekend but I can-"
"No, sweetheart. Don't stop your life just because mines ending...! You have all the time in the world..."
We sit there in silence for a minute and my mother rests her eyes, she looked surprisingly peaceful. Was that that death was like? Peaceful? It couldn't be... She had been suffering from cancer for months... She was slowly decaying. That itself must be painful?!
"What's it like?" I ask her shakily.
"What's what like, sweetheart?" She coos to me.
"Dying. What's it like?" My eyes glaze over with a thin later of crystal clear water full of sadness and wonder.
"Slow." She half smile and chuckles a little. "Ros, it's like a bad film. One of those films that is so long winded that you just know the ending is going to be just as bad... It's like that." She smiles but sighs sadly.
"You're referring your life to a film now are you? So what's the film called?" I wink.
"Oh I don't know Ros." She laughs. "Why, what's your life story film called?"
"Bowie's baby." I mutter and sulk but my mother bursts out laughing.
"Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart!" She says still laughing.
Seeing her laugh put a smile on my face too, it was good to see her laugh, to see that I could still make her happy. She finally stops laughing and her foggy eyes are drawn to my stomach. I almost feel wary of her judging eyes...
"Are you mad with me?" I ask sheepishly.
Mum puts her cold hand on my knee and shakes her head side to side with a smile on her face. "How could I ever be mad at you? I'm proud of you, Rosalind Chester...!" The tears flow again, but this time, tears of joy. Mum was proud of me, for what? "And one day, you'll get married, you'll have the most perfect life, full of your hopes and dreams, and I'll look down at you and think... That's my girl."
I let out an excited sigh and pull my weak, feeble mother into a tight hug.
This can't be it...?
YOU ARE READING
1974 - A David Bowie Fanfic.
Hayran KurguThe year is 1974 and Rosalind Chester is an 18 year old girl who is in love with one of the biggest rockstar's of that time, along with a million other David Bowie fans... When Ros decides it's time to leave home to live in Brixton, her whole world...