Sky Media Stories

Redney [and other ships] - Sweetie Pie (Part 1)

Nobody, no matter how old they are, grow out of candy. It's just impossible. Anyone who says they don't like candy sits on a throne of lies. When you have a gaggle of guys who are as childish as the guys at Sky Media, they are going to go through a lot of candy.

So that's where they are right now. The candy store. Red and Barney had been put in charge of getting candy for the offices. Gummy worms for Ross and Max and Adam, Heath bars for Tim Tim, and Warheads for challenge videos. Of course, once Red and Barney were there walking around through isles of glimmering wrappers and bags stuffed full of spun sugar, they aren't going to be able to resist the temptation  to get more than what's on the list. Even Barney, the health nut that he is, can't resist rainbows of jolly ranchers and stacks of chocolate bars. Red certainly wasn't any health nut, and he was going to load his shopping basket with enough candy to last him through the apocalypse.

"Carasmel appel!" Barney exclaimed, pointing to a display case full of green apples coated in thick layers of toffee coating. "Apple apple!" Red shrieked in Apple's voice. Barney laughed and bought two for each of them.

After emptying the small store of half of it's stock and filling their baskets with enough candy to choke a pack of angry hippos, Barney was checking out at the cashier. As the cashier struggled to understand what he was saying, Red paced the isles, enjoying the sound of his shoes scuffing against the linoleum. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a large splotch of... Pink?

Red turned to see a corner of the store he couldn't remember being there before. The corner was decorated with pink ribbons and sparkly heart and Cupid decorations hanging from the ceiling in red and white. A large red curtain was tied back to reveal a doorway with dim golden light escaping out of the opening. A red carpet led into the doorway and disappeared into the room behind. It looked like a Hallmark Valentine's Day card had thrown up all over the display. A sign was hanging from the tasseled yellow rope that held back the curtain. It read Do Not Enter. Though he knew he probably should just go find Barney and leave, his curiosity bested him. With a sigh and a shrug, Red held up the curtain and ducked into the entrance.

Inside was not much different from the outside, but less cheesy. Red carpets and walls, pink and white ribbons draped across the walls like streamers, and rose petals scattered across the ground, leading to the center of the room where a table covered in a pristine white table cloth held a mysterious wooden box. Behind the table sat a strange man that looked rather mischievous. The man wore a slightly dirty business suit. He had skin that looked to be rather gray, but perhaps that was just the lighting of the candles. His eyes were not completely on center and pointed off in two different directions, one going left and the other right, pointing away from each other. He wore a monocle that drooped rather low on his face and rested over his mouth. Just below his mouth on his chin, he had a stick on black handlebar mustache. He was the strangest man Red had ever seen in his life.

"Why hello there!" He said, voice booming and assertive. "You look like you're a rather lonely man!"

Before Red could respond, the man continued on, his tongue flopping out of the hole in his monocle. "Well, fear not dear friend, for I have the product just for you!"

He spread his hands dramatically, as if presenting a diamond the size of a baseball to me and the lid of the wooden box opened on its own. Inside the box was sectioned off into 8 different compartments. Each compartment held a small heart shaped bottle. The bottle seemed to be made of read glass, as opposed to plastic. They all held a mysterious bubblegum pink liquid that was so thick it was like tar. Every bottle was labeled with words Red could not read. It looked like hieroglyphics or runes or something.

"You see, my pal, these are love potions!" The strange salesman said. "A special candy syrup we developed here in this little local shop for you to give to your lover! I gave it to my wife just last week and it saved me from my impending divorce for at least another three years!"

The thought of Barney came to mind. Sure, it was just a stupid little bottle of candy syrup, but Barney would find it funny. At the same time it would also hopefully make his feelings for him clear. Maybe... Maybe he was just a fool. But he was foolishly in love, and he wanted to get Barney a "love potion."

Red walked over hesitantly and picked up one of the heart shaped bottles as if it was a grenade that could explode at any moment. "How much?" Red asked. The salesman grinned, his tongue flopping over the edge of his monocle. "For you kid, no charge! Just give that to your little lover and have fun!" 

Red looked back down at the bottle in his hand and looked back up to ask the man more questions only to see that he had disappeared. So had the candles and the carpet, table, and box of potions. Instead he stood in what seemed to be a janitors closet. Red was dumbfounded, but he had no way of knowing what had happened, so with a shrug, he tucked the syrup away in his pocket and left the closet to join Barney and head back to the offices.
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Oooooooh this shit is going to take a twist maaaaaaan I think this is one of my best ideas yet. I'm so hype just stay tuned this'll be WORTH it.

-💕 Bubblegum 💕