Broken Generation (Sequel to Don't Go)

Chapter 13

** 4 Months After Nicole Woke Up **

** Crimson's P.O.V. **

"Crimson- what the hell is going on?" Josh asked angrily, and I avoided his eyes, hugging myself.

"L-leave it alone Josh. I'm not in the mood." I said and he snarled, storming to the kitchen before storming back, pacing.

"You haven't been in the mood for months! What the hell is wrong! You don't tease me, poke jabs at me, you're sleeping all day now and at night you go to work then come back! What the hell is your job anyways! What is so important that sometimes you don't return till the next morning!" He screamed and I let my head fall, trying so hard to hold back the tears that so desperately wanted to fall.

"You wouldn't understand." I whispered, shaking and trembling. I wanted to smash his face in and at the same time I wanted to scream and run away- save Josh from this whole world I had gotten myself into.

"Then explain it!" He snapped and I slowly stood, breathing heavily as I reached up and tried to weakly shove him away. He grabbed my wrists roughly and I cried out in pain, shrinking away and trying to pull myself away from him. He held tight, his eyes searching my face for anything. When he couldn't find anything he looked to my hands, which were curled into fists as I tried to pull away from him. His eyes traveled down my arms and I started freaking out more, throwing myself into him and then pulling away. His eyes flickered back up to mine and then he did the unexpected.

He spun us around and pressed me into the couch, pinning me down as he pinned my hand above my head. I was breathing heavy, flailing around as I tried to throw him off of my abdomen. He carefully grabbed my wrists in both of his hands, using his other hand to pull down my long sleeves. He expected to see self harm scars- but what he saw he was not prepared for.

There were bruises, scattered across my arms, and all heading to one place. The crook of my elbow. His eyes widened and he let go of my wrists, sitting back on his heels as he stared down at me in shock.

"W-what?" He asked weakly and I let out a sob, covering my face as I just cried and cried. He just stared at me as I kept sobbing, not even trying to stop me. He gently climbed off my lap, standing up and staring down at me. I curled up, putting my back to him as I sobbed into my arms and the couch now. I couldn't stop- it was as if a dam had broken in me. As if Josh had smashed the glass jar labeled 'sadness' into a million piece when it was already bubbling at the brim. I cried for anything and everything- for my weakness, for the lies I told to everyone, for the lies I was going to continue to tell.

I hadn't really stopped crying twenty minutes later, sitting up to look to Josh. He was holding his head, eyes closed as he wept softly. I tried to call out to him, but my voice wouldn't work, so I reached forward, going to rest my hand on his shoulder. He pulled away, looking up at me. I stopped- before crying anew. The pain in his eyes, the pain and the betrayal. It was like I took away his armor- obliterated it from the inside and then stabbed him in the back. I stood, swaying before I grabbed my purse. I disappeared down the hall, pulling on a jacket to cover my skeleton arms before I went back to the living room. Josh was still sitting there, holding his head, still crying softly.

I bit down on my lip and stumbled to the door, everything blurry and spinning.

"Please-" He choked out and I stopped, looking back at him. He was watching me, eyes as broken as his soul.

"What drug is it?" He asked and I shook my head, clutching the knob tightly. I swallowed and turned- ripping open the door and stumbling out. I had to get away, I had to go somewhere else, where no one would judge, would look betrayed.