Broken Generation (Sequel to Don't Go)

Chapter 15

** 6 months after Nicole Woke up **

** Nicole's P.O.V. **

This past month has been stressful for everybody. Especially for Josh. We spent every day going to the hospital hoping Crimson would wake up soon enough. I guess now I understand what it felt like while I was there in her place. Josh has been barely getting any sleep. He continued to blame himself for everything. Just repeating how if he had to pay more attention to her this would have never happened. We all tried to tell him that it wasn't true, but he continued on not listening to us.

The doctors at the hospital kept assuring us that everything was going to be fine. Crimson was going to wake up soon. All we could do was to nod and just believe what they said. After all, they can't lie to us, right? We would come check on her just hoping she would wake up soon but for now nothing has happened. I had a few mental breakdowns while I would sit down in that room and just stare at her do nothing.

Even Austin came by to visit her quite a bit. However, I only knew this because Josh and Evan would tell me. I couldn't show up and talk to him. It would startle him too much, he still believes I died after my suicide attempt. I feel bad for the guys that have to talk to him and never once have to mention my name. However, if Austin did find out I was alive it would be big trouble. The voice would spread and in a matter of no time Oli would find out.

It's been a lot more easier for me to go around the city and have to worry every single time. Since I changed my looks I have to say, I can't really connect the past me with this one. I continued going to the same old tattoo shop and adding up art pieces to my body. The tattoo artist and I became friends for how frequent I have been going. He even started to reduce the price by a lot just for me.

With the last tattoo I did, a T-Rex skull, my sleeves are finally complete. Since then, I started getting into drawing once again. I was proud of my work and I decided to show it up to the guy hoping he could give me an apprenticeship and teach me how to tattoo. He looked over the various drawings I did, smiled and right away agreed. He said that I had the talent and he would gladly teach me his skills. My first day is going to be next week on monday.

Evan stood by my side the whole time. Just him being there as a shoulder to cry on meant a lot to me. We have talked between us and we decided that the best thing for her was to go to rehab. Even if she didn't want to, it's what she needed. She couldn't go on like this and to just hope the next relapse wouldn't be as bad as this one.

Since we ended up staying together this month, it's been a lot harder than usual to hide my "weird" behavior. I started to wake up earlier than usual and I would cook breakfast for everybody. So once they would wake up, or on Josh's case give up on trying to fall asleep, I could tell them I already ate. Once or twice a week I would take a few bites for lunch in front of them. Then for dinner I would do the same thing. Every time I took a bite out of my food I felt disgusting.

For the self harm, I just sticked to my thighs knowing that the arms would be to much of a risky choice. I kept my little friend hidden in my makeup bag knowing that they would never want to look through that. For Evan it's been pretty easy to hide everything from him. For Josh instead, it's a lot harder. He knows me perfectly and him not getting a lot of sleep means him being awake and paying attention a lot more. All it could take is for him to notice a pattern for two days straight and he would know right away what it is. So I have been trying to not follow some regular and pretty leave it all to randomness.

I exited the kitchen once I finished making breakfast for Josh and Evan. As I was making my way to the bathroom I bumped into Josh.

"Hey Josh, you woke up a bit earlier than usual." I told him.