Broken Generation (Sequel to Don't Go)

Chapter 19

**10 months after Nicole wakes up.**

** Nicole's P.O.V. **

I guess, this month have been an improvement for all of us. Just the fact that Crimson was now, here with us again was great. I know that being back out for the first few weeks will be the hardest. She put in so much work to get better and now that she is back out, she knows how to get back to it. We all know that, but decided to trust her. We didn't want her to feel like a doll we all had to look after or it would break.

I have been improving so much back at work with Romeo. These past few months have helped me enough to understand the basics and everything. I remember two months ago he told me he thought I was ready to do my very first tattoo. But, I was too scared to even take the risk. I told him that, if I in any way messed it up, I would have hated myself so badly. He let it go knowing it was just a matter of time.

Last week, when a young woman came into the shop asking for a small rose, Romeo looked back at me, smiling. I knew what he wanted and I felt that I could take the responsibility of it. I told the woman that I would be the one to take over today, with Romeo supervising me of course. I quickly did the sketch and both the client and Romeo were pleased.

It felt like an exam, a test to show all of my knowledge and the tactics that I learnt from Romeo. I took a deep breath and looked at Romeo, scared shitless that I was going to do this for the first time. He promised me that everything was going to be fine and I trusted him. I immediately started tattooing her. After the first few seconds went by, the anxiety and fear past away too. I smiled as I finished the last details of the rose and was proud to say that I did this.

After she left Romeo told me he was proud of me and that from now on, I could be the one doing all the small and simple tattoos for now. I couldn't be more excited. I was actually going to be tattooing people now and I know that as soon as Crimson would know this, she would be the first one sitting in that chair.

Talking about her, I'm scared that she knows. I feel like at least a part of her knows of what I'm doing to myself. It's been a lot harder to starve myself now that Crimson was around. I've been trying my best to hide all of my habits, but I'm more than sure that she is suspicious. She even tried to go on the subject once or twice but I just let it go, pretending like it's all in the past.

I even remember the other day where Crimson was cooking and she made two pancakes. One for her and... one for me. She placed the two plates on the table saying it was to celebrate like we used to do back in high school. Every time one of us got a good grade or made some sort of achievement we would eat pancakes and cover the shit out of them with Nutella, cause fuck diabetes.

I tried to say I wasn't hungry at first but then she started to ask questions. I eventually gave in and started to eat that filthy, calorie filled, greasy and fattening pancake. I felt disgusting for every bite I would take out of it. But I had to continue of else it was useless to continue and hide the truth from her.

One good thing though was Evan. Even though it's been months since we got together, we were better than ever. We loved each other and we were happy together. Evan has never stopped to prove me how much he cared. Even the small actions meant a lot to me.

Ever since I had stopped with the self harm even our intimate part of the relationship start getting better. I wasn't scared of having my body exposed in front of him. I wasn't scared of having him being disgusted of how I look. Even though I hated my physical appearance, I always knew that he loved me no matter what.

"Hello love!" Evan said as he sat down on the couch next to me. I kissed him with passion feeling grateful to have someone like him by side.

"I love you" was all I could say back to him. A genuine smile covered his face when I spoke those words.