Almost everyone has been hurt at some point. (Not just an ordinary pain to endure). There are stories behind, of course. Two sides of stories. The one that plays the liberated role and the other is the innocent one. Well, I'm the innocent one. I see myself as a cheerful lady with a blissful personality, a blissful ignorance in disguise, I guess. Because despite my standing in our university, despite the position I had, despite the intelligence I possessed.. I still looked at the world as a mystery I wanted to unlock. I feel the world, each part of it, has meanings which I am incapable of knowing. I keep on asking myself why I felt as if an empty bottle left neglected. Useless. Trash.
Well that's the thought of me. I'm nothing. Just another typical girl whom you encounter everyday. Just another stranger in the crowd. A stranger I know no one would ever dare to have an acquaintance with, because in terms of appearance, I can say that I looked like a frustrated walking encyclopedia, kinda' nerdy. Mmm.. I am under the feature of an ectomorphic (a person with thin body), delicate, with sharp nose and fine hair. I stay away from large crowds, noise and destruction. My eyes are teary.. I dunno but my eyes are like this since then. And that maybe is the reason why I wore a pair of eyeglasses. Tan skin as my complexion. Rosy cheek. Lips that are stable for having that serious look. And no days had passed without me carrying books. That I daresay is the reason why they nicknamed me as walking encyclopedia. Weird. Does my image popped in your head already? I hope so.
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It all started, 21st of October.. While I am walking at our Department's corridor. Thinking only of my academic concerns. Until suddenly.. I came to bumped a man who is taller than me and more likely five years older than me.
"Ouch." I whispered as I felt the force that came to bumped my left shoulder.. and so, I instantly pat my shoulder and place my hand on it and press it. Put some pressure to ease the pain. That's what I've learned from my bestfriend, Yoona.
"I'm sorry. I'm running out of time. I.. I-I have to go." He uttered immediately. I don't know. But it seemed like he was rushing for something. I just looked at his back running away.
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There was a slow motion happened a while aback despite the fast occurence. And so I ended having gained descriptions with this entity I came to bumped with. Here are some: He has thick eyebrows that will caught your attention effortlessly. An eyes that would take you off your feet. Lips that is as red as a rose. Pointed nose that would definitely won't disappoint you. Gifted with height. O' common a package deal. And so I was crush out. Stucked. But, I guess he didn't heard what I just spilled out. Pffft. That man.. I knew it, that kind of guy will never have an interest to look on a person like me. He would never notice such nerd like me.
And I just continued walking. Until I reached our room. Noisy as ever. My classmates were busy doing their own businesses. There are braiding their hairs. Some were reviewing. And others were chit-chatting. Me? Nothing unusual. Sitting alone like a zombie- wanting to eat brains.
20 minutes had passed. Our professor is still not around. Boredom stikes my whole body. I am bored to death. Irritated. Weak. I was like a double dead meat. Then unexpectedly, the moment I just had recently popped into my head. And I started wondering how that scenario put me to this unwanted fate.
After that moment, he never left my mind. I always think of him. No second had passed without the thought of him. He's the fillings that filled the gaps I never thought existing. I never mind the range of size, height or even age. It was just a damn numbers for me. That fate led me to be more dedicated in meeting him.
Days went by, I never failed to come to that place where we first met. Exact time and exact spot. Expecting him to come around, to see him again. I will ask his name.. His age. See? how desperate I was. This is quite looking like a theatre play- A reversed in character role. He's the one running away, and I am the one chasing. Shakespearian dramaturgy be like.
Months flew by, I see no signs of him. Either shadow. I ended up hopeless in the thought of seeing him again. Maybe he's just a visitor who has something to process in our university. And so.. I continued doing my daily routine and came back to normal. No more illusions. No more wishful thinking. No more mindless dreaming. Stop. Putting a period might work out on this one.
The whole sem is over but still I don't see any sign towards him. And so I made up my mind. I decided to forget everything about him and left that memory in somewhat forbidden place inside my brain. And so I did.
〰
2 years had passed and everything seemed to be favorable with the regulations I obliged myself to follow. Like choosing to live isolated with others. Ignore all the things that might affect my feelings. Avoid sentimental moments. I am not supposed to feel anything. That's my rules- That's my secret of having a peaceful living, instead of engaging myself to nonsense things, I devoted myself in my schooling.
I was busy studying my past lessons to retain something in my schemes in preparation for my incoming Licensure Examination..
This would be my last sem in this institution. Yeah, you're thinking it right. I'm a graduating student, currently. I am now preparing myself to the next stone I'm about to step after this semester. I dedicate myself in reviewing to pass my board exam and pursue my goals in life.
Until one time, as I was walking towards to our corridor going to the Cashier's office to pay my fees.. Something unfavorable wind came to turn everything around. We came to crossed paths again. Yes. Him again. The one I met 2 years ago. Shocked. Frozen. Everything had stopped. I hear nothing except the fast beating of my heart. In this momentum, I was quite disappointed and happy at the same time. Disappointed because it took years for us to meet again and happy for I believed that it was fate who drove all of these with reasons. I cannot blame him either. Delightful filled my beliefs again. The place where I hid everything came to unlocked and effortlessly remained open.
The time I saw him was like the first time we met. I won't let this moment passed again without me doing something. I will make moves to know who he is. I was threaded as I've espy that he's laso a student of this institution. And so I instantaneously followed him till' we reached the room where he will be going to attend his class.
I see how he performed in class. He is a Law student. I cannot help myself but to feel amazed and totally sticked on him. Following him continued many times. I enjoy watching the way he excelled in class. Until such time, he recognized me following him. And he came near me..
He started walking towards me.
First step..
Second..
And Third..
"Who are you?- Why are you following me?" He said calmly. After those two questions he just uttered I can feel the droplets of my sweat flowing beside my eyebrows down to my eyes and cheeks.
"I..I..I..-" I replied hesitantly. Sweat falling. I cannot help myself but to feel more nervous.
"I what?" He asked. I can see in his eyes how curious he was. He move closer to me. Closer... And closer.
I walk backward.
"I just want to know you. That's why." I answered. I don't know where I dig those words. But there is something I am sure of. Two years is enough for me to gain such confidence to tell those words to him.
"Don't you know that stalking is like harassing? And it is stated in our Contitutional by Laws, Article 3, that anything depriving the privacy of others may lead to a talk in the court?" He replied.
I bow down. I can see on my peripheral view how people started to talk about me. I can see their mouth forming the word "Shameless", then laugh. What did I do? Ugh!
"I... was... just... wondering... if..." I said slowly.
He entered an 'Isshhhhh..' to interupt me and that maybe is his way to stop me from explaining and continued saying .. "Stop following me!" And he left me standing in the middle of the crowd. People staring. I felt embarrassed. But I cannot do anything except to melt with shame.
