Broken wings || Destiel

Chapter 5

Next few days Dean and Cas spent mostly on the couch, snuggling, watching old movies and ignoring Sam's annoyed looks and rolling eyes. 

Eventually, they had to leave their little bubble of happiness and start living their normal lives again.  

Dean and Sam spent most time on the road, hunting things, sleeping at cheap motels, saving lifes, while Cas was in heaven, where, as he told Dean, he had some unfinished bussiness with his brothers. 

One evening, Dean was sitting on his bed, reading some article about a girl who killed her parents with what appears to be a horn of a unicorn, Sam sat next to him and smiled for himself. "What?" Dean asked and looked at him confused. 

"I don't know man. I just feel like everything is going too well for us lately. I mean, look at us. You and Cas are all lovey dovey, we find a job at almost every town we stop in, no Lucifer, no end of the world coming any soon..." he shrugged and looked at Dean. 

"Well, maybe we're just finally getting what we deserve. Look... We saved so many people, and what do we have from it, huh? Maybe,... Maybe there really is someone up there who still cares" Dean slightly smiled and went back to reading the paper. 

Cas was sitting on a bench, enjoying all the beauty and peace around him when he heard a familiar voice behind him. 

"Haven't seen you up here for a while, what brings you here?" Balthazar walked over and sat next to him, studying his face. 

"I just wanted to spend some time at home, before...Well, you know." Cas looked away, trying to hide a tear rolling down his cheek. Balthazar nodded and sighed. 

"I still don't understand. Why would you do something like that for one little human?" he shook his head. "You will be missed. I know you think the other angels hate you, and they have all reasons to do so, but deep down, they know you're a family. You're my brother, Castiel. I don't care how many times you rebelled, how many times you broke the rules, I don't wanna lose you."  

Cas sighed and looked at Balthazar. He saw the pain in his eyes, the fear of losing another brother, of being alone. 

"I love him, Balthazar. And trust me, if there was any other way how to do it, I would. But I couldn't let him die. I wouldn't be able to live without him by my side. I am sorry, brother. I really am." 

Balthazar nodded again. "Did you tell him? You only have a few days left" he asked after a while. 

"I can't. He's happy now, you know? I don't wanna take that away from him, even th-"  

"You don't wanna take that away?! How do you think he'll feel when he finds out what you did? Do you think THAT will make him happy too?" Bakthazar yelled at the other angel, pain and frustration in his voice. 

"I believe in him. I believe he will do the right thing. He's strong, Balthazar, he will be hurt at first, but he'll get over it. He will.." Cas sighed and looked away, "he will live a long, happy life, he'll have a family,..." he continued in a shaky voice, trying not to show how much it hurts to say those things, "he will have everything he ever wanted, everything that he couldn't ever have with me." Cas took a deep breath and gave one last sad smile to Balthazar. 

"I want to spend my last days with him. I know you're angry now, but I still hope that one day you will understand and you'll be able to forgive me. Goodbye Balthazar" Castiel said and dissappeared, leaving Balthazar all alone. 

"Goodbye, brother."

Cas appeared in the motel room in the middle of the night, sat on Dean's bed and watched him sleep. He looked so calm, so innocent. Cas smiled sadly when he realized that the only moments Dean looked so calm was when he was with him. And now he was going to take that away from him. And even worse, Cas knew that Dean was going to blame himself for it. He wished he had the guts to tell him, to tell him why he decided to sacrifice his own life for Dean, to tell him how much he loves him, but he couldn't. None of that will matter when he'll be gone.

Dean turned in his sleep and mumbled something. Cas took his hand and Dean opened his eyes, blinking a few times before he recognized him.

"Cas?" He smiled, sat up and took the angel's hand.

"Everything alright up there? Or you came because you simply can't stay away from me?" Dean whispered and smirked, kissing Cas' soft lips.

Cas smiled and pulled away, looking into Dean's sparkly green eyes filled with happiness and love as he tried to hide the sorrow in his own eyes. These might be the last days he could spend with Dean and he didn't want to fight or cry over something they couldn't do anything about.

"Cas? Are you here?" Dean gave him a puzzled look and frowned. "You're not telling me something. I know this look, Cas. What is it?" he sat back, still holding his hand, looking at Cas with fear in his eyes.

The angel knew he can't lie. He could fool almost everyone, but not Dean. Dean knew him too well, he saw him suffer, he saw him cry and he could read him.

Cas knew he had to tell him. He knew Dean deserves the truth.

"I... I made a deal."