Broken wings || Destiel

Chapter 17

hiii

i can't believe this has 3.4k reads, you guys are amazing thank you so so so much x

hope you enjoy this chapter, i wrote it on my phone so sorry if there are any typos:/

don't forget to vote and comment, and thank you so much for reading ilyy xx

((and this is completely off topic but is anybody here going to the 1D concert in germany, bc i'm going and it would feel kinda lonely bc i don't know anyone there soo yeah please comment if you're going, we could meet up(: ))

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The massive door to the dark room opened, making Dean look up from the chair he was tied to. A tall figure stumbled into the room holding a half-empty bottle in one hand and Dean furrowed his eyebrow when the strong smell of alcohol filled the air around him as the older man got closer.

"Dean, babeee..." Cas' words were slurred and he took a sip of his drink before throwing the bottle somewhere behind Dean, watching as it shattered into pieces with an amused smirk.

He turned his attention back to Dean and his expression changed to a worried look. "You look like hell, you know," he announced, his tone flat.

Dean shook his head, knowing there's no point in trying to talk to Cas while he's drunk, and looked down. Cas, however, didn't want to let Dean brush him off so easily, and reached out to pull his chin up. His fingers brushed along Dean's jaw and it felt like every nerve in the younger man's body reacted to the touch, after longing for Cas' touch for so long, and he had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from begging for more. He knew it was wrong to feel the way he felt about the monster standing in front of him, yet he couldn't stop the shivers running down his spine from the touch. Instead of trying to stop Cas, he tilted his head up and looked up at him.

"What do you want, Cas?" he asked, his voice hoarse and barely audible. He wanted to tell him so many things, he wanted to help him, fix him, but he couldn't. Not only because Castiel didn't want to be saved, but also because Dean had nothing left to give him. He gave Cas all of himself over and over again, but this time the emptiness he felt inside was permanent. He had nothing. No hope, no faith, no pain, nothing at all. And after all the time he spent looking for a way to bring back the man he loved, he finally understood that man is now long gone. The creature standing in front of him was nothing but a monster.

"I just want to have some fun, Dean," Cas smirked and shrugged, stepping closer. "It gets boring just sitting here in the dark..." he leaned forward and stopped with his lips just inches away from the hunter's neck. "And you look really good tied up," he whispered and Dean shivered as he felt his hot breath ghost over his skin. Somehow Cas managed to sound seductive even though he was so drunk he could barely walk, and when he stepped closer and sat down so he was straddling Dean's lap, the younger man couldn't stop the quiet whimper that escaped his lips.

'Just another monster, just another monster' Dean kept on repeating in his head, but it didn't really help the growing bulge in his pants or his ragged breath.

"You're trying so hard," Cas whispered and Dean could feel his smirk as the other man connected his lips with the sensitive skin on his neck, making him moan when he bit down, leaving a dark red mark on the tan skin.

"Cas, stop," Dean breathed out, trying to sound as serious and not-turned-on as he could.

"Come on, you know you want it," Cas mumbled into his neck before kissing along his jawline. His lips were soft against the stubble and every little nerve in Dean body wanted to lean forwards and capture his lips with his own, but he remained still, taking a deep breath through gritted teeth to clear his head a bit.

"No, actually I don't," he almost growled before pulling back from the other man. He did want it, he wanted to touch Cas, to hold him and feel him, and it drove him insane to lie, but he knew it would only make it worse if he showed his weakness.

The other man gave him a puzzled look, obviously surprised by his reaction, but within a few seconds the wide smirk returned to his face and he traced a finger down Dean's chest.

"Tell me, Dean. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want this- you don't want me. Tell me you never want to see me again, and I'll leave. Just...Tell me," his eyes were wide when he looked up at Dean and for a second the hunter could've sworn he saw the familiar blue color in them, but he blamed it on the shadows in the rooms.

Cas' heart was pounding in his chest and his head felt like it was going to explode. He was torn. He wanted to hear the words from Dean, he wanted to know how much he hates him, but part of him hoped the words would never leave his lips. The lump in his throat grew with every second of silence, and just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, the younger man spoke up.

"I can't, I just-" Dean's voice cracked and he took a deep breath before continuing, his eyes glued to the floor. "I can't lie to you, and I hate it, god, I hate it so much. I wish I could tell you to leave and never come back, to rot in hell for everything you've put me through, but I can't and it makes me mad,..You make me mad. I trusted you, Cas. I gave you everything and you just trew it all away and now you're the only thing I have left and I can't let you become just a memory, I can't live knowing I haven't tried everything to save you, ..." his voice was shaking and tears were rolling down his cheeks as he continued, "I can't let you walk away, Cas. I can't be without you, but I can't be with you either, I mean, I don't even know this new you, and I hate it, I hate you. God, I hate you so much.." he looked up with bloodshot eyes and lips trembling, hoping to find an answer in the other man's face. Instead, he was surprised by soft lips pressing gently against his own. This time, he didn't fight it.