Broken wings || Destiel

Chapter 21

sooo in honor of valentine's day being yesterday (it is currently 3:26am) i thought hey why don't i randomly publish this happy end even though i planned to publish it next week right?

jk but seriously guys, this is it.
like, it it. el fin. the end.
there will be one more chapter like an epilogue, but other than that this is it.

i feel a bit emotional now wow. i really enjoyed writing this, and you guys are so sweet with your comments and everything, i love you very very much and thank you so much for reading this whole thing even though my updating habits are a mess and i never use the right past tenses, you are all gorgeous and amazing and i love you xxxxxx

also i'm pretty sure there will be some typos in this bc i didn't edit it before posting it but i promise i will fix it asap (=not at 3:26am) x

i love you all, please comment and vote and tell me what you think xx (:
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(( things that are in the (( )) are crossed out but wattpad won't let me make it crossed out so yeah soz for that))
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"(( Dear Dean, ))

(( Dean, I am sorry ))

I am sorry. I am so sorry, for the things I've put you through, the things I should have done and didn't, the things I did and shouldn't have, I am sorry.

((I love you))

I am sorry for taking the freedom of decision from you, for being selfish enough to put you through all of this just to keep you by my side. I want you to know that whatever happens next, it is the right thing, maybe the only right thing I have ever done for you. I was careless and selfish to think I have the right to spend eternity next to someone like you, and even though my intension was never to hurt you in any way, I did, and words can not explain just how sorry I am. Your love is a gift and I hope one day you meet someone who shows you just how grateful they are to have you by their side. You deserve so much more than you settle for.

I wish I had a chance to go back and change the things I have done, not because I regret the moments I have spent with you - God knows those were the sun and moon in the darkness of my life -, no, I would turn back the time and go back to the day I saw you for the very first time, just to make sure you knew how amazing you are, how pure and bright your soul is, how much there is to live for and how the world is waiting for you; I would tell you to never settle for anything less than the best, because you are worth so much more than you think; I would make sure you knew better than to give up, and I would let you go. I would let you go, knowing that you will break and you will crash to the ground, but you will always get back up, knowing that no matter how many times you fall, you will find the strenght to stand back up within yourself. You would live your life like everyone else, and I would most likely never meet you again, and even though my life without you would feel like living in a world that's only black and white, I would know you are safe and strong, and that would be enough. I know you won't believe me now, but maybe one day, you will understand that hurting you was the very opposite of what I wanted to do.

((I love you))

Your memories will fade; the ability to forget is something you should never take for granted. I promise you we will not meet again, even though you will always haunt my mind, I promise not to ever seek your company again. I wish you happiness, Dean. I hope you find peace and balance in your life, that is something I could never give you.

((I love you,))

I will keep you in my mind as well as my heart, and even though I know I can never fix the mess I have made upon your heart and soul, or expect you to forgive me, I hope one day you will understand.