Without You There Is No Me (kellic)

Chapter 5

Kellin's POV:

I didn't feel like going to my next few classes and I was pretty hungry since I had skipped breakfast so I decided to go to Jesse's Pizza and get something to eat.

The pizza place was pretty much empty, probably because it was the middle of the week and a lot of people were in classes. I ordered some pizza from the red haired guy at the counter and then sat at one of he tables by the window. While I ate, I just stared out the window and watched as people walked past. I actually got a laugh out of it because I saw some girl trip an fall onto her friend. They were both laughing too, so it's not like I was being an asshole or anything.

Anyway, after I ate I went back to my room since there was still more time before my history class with Vic. I would be skipping some of my other classes, but I really didn't care. I needed some time alone.

I got back to my room and, like I expected, Vic was gone. I jumped onto my bed and laid down on my back with my head resting on my arms. For the next thirty minutes or so, I just stared at the white ceiling thinking of absolutely nothing. I just stared at the ceiling and focused on the places where the paint was chipped. I didn't think about the ceiling though. I just stared at it. I didn't think of Vic, or Andy, or Jaime. Nothing. I was just lost in the serenity of being alone. I had always liked being alone and I had been lacking alone time the whole time I had been here, at college. It was just the most peaceful time for me because I didn't have to put up with anybody else's bullshit. Only my own, which most of the times wasn't any better but right now, I had forgotten about everything and enjoyed being able to simply relax.

Soon, I was brought back to reality when I heard people talking as they passed by my room. I sighed as I got up and walked over to my desk. I looked over everything that I had laid out, looking for something to entertain myself with. My eyes fell apon my lyric book. I hadn't written anything since I've been here, or even thought about writing for that matter so why not write a little?

I picked up my notebook and a pen and went over to my bed. I sat down, leaned against the wall and opened the book. I had no clue what to write about. It was very rare that I actually had the chance to write a song about something happy since my life before this was pure hell. There were so many things going on in my life right now, but what would fit the best in a song? I decided to just write about everything that I've been feeling and how different college actually is. About how I'm finally finding people that except me for me.

'I used to be a ghost floating aimlessly, so they couldn't see. What I think hurts the most I felt like it made me, hate me. But I won't apologize for being different. I can be who I am and yeah. I felt so dead inside but now I feel so alive for the first time oh and I feel, I feel so alive again.'

I quickly scribbled down the lyrics as they flowed from my brain. It was surprisingly easy to write about this.
I started to sing along to what I was writing but soon I stopped because I realized that someone could probably hear me through these paper thin walls.

"Keep going." I heard a voice coming from the doorway. Vic was standing there with a slight grin on his face. I hadn't even noticed him standing there.

"Vic, I-I" I stuttered because this was really embarrassing. How could I not have heard him opening the door and how long had he been standing there?

"Kellin, keep singing." He said, more like ordered. I didn't know what to say to him but I definitely did not want to sing in front of him. I can't remember the last time that I sang for anyone except for my mom. Singing for her was something that I did almost on a daily basis but when she died, I refused to sing for anyone else. Not that I even had anyone to sing to.

"No, Vic you, uh, you weren't meant to hear that." I said as I began to get flustered. I closed my notebook and was going to put it away but Vic came over to me and slowly pushed my shoulders down so that I would sit on the bed again. I let him do it and watched him as he turned around towards his bed and picked up his guitar. He walked back towards my bed and sat down next to me.

"Kells, that was amazing. Now keep going. I want to hear more." Vic said as he began to slowly strum his guitar. Him calling me that just weakened me and I knew that I was going to give in to him. I looked at him and he just gave me a reassuring nod. I was still really nervous but I reluctantly started to sing anyway.

I sang the same song that Vic had heard me singing and he played along on the guitar trying to match the song. He was swaying a little while he played and I couldn't help but watch him. His eyes were closed for most of the time so he didn't notice me staring at him. He looked so concentrated and content in his playing. I even heard him humming along a little bit which was adorable.

Soon, I stopped singing and once Vic noticed, he stopped playing his guitar and looked up at me.

"That was so good, Kellin! Why were you so nervous?" Vic said. I just shrugged and got up to put away my notebook.

"Well, you have no reason to be nervous, Kells. You were amazing. You ARE amazing." There he goes again calling me Kells. And, calling me amazing for that matter. I had a huge smile on my face and I knew that I was blushing like an idiot. I hate the way he makes me feel. It has to be pretty obvious by now that I like him. I really hope it's not though.

"Thanks, Vic." I said trying to hide the complete admiration in my voice.

"No problem, you deserve it. We better get going, though. Our class starts soon." He said. Wow. I had completely forgotten about that. I'm actually up for skipping it but I don't know if class is like, important to him or whatever so I decided to just go with him.

I nodded back at him and we walked off out of our room.


****************

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Ok, so I was gonna make this chapter longer but I decided to put the next part in the next chapter. Sorry, this chapter is probably going to end up being really short. >.< Anyway I hope everyone likes it and... I don't know what else to write here so bye!