Flowers and Their Crushed Petals (ryden)

Chapter Four: Ryan Ross

We were an hour from Alabama and I was actually excited. The night before we had stopped to sleep, in our cars, and they talked about all the places they've been. Every where they went they found something fun and meaningful to do. Something they would remember for years. Apparently they were planning on seeing their friend sing at a concert before they picked him up in Alabama. They said he sang the most beautiful songs and he always held concerts in the most beautiful places. I stayed up later with Dylan then everyone else. She was the kind of girl I always looked for, she had something special. I wasn't sure yet what it was but I was planing on finding out soon.
When we made it into Alabama it was pouring down rain. Thunder and lighting echoed through the sky. Usually rain made me feel a little down but today I loved it. Because I understood it. It made chaos and trouble with what caring how others felt about it. It did what it wanted to. It was free. I like I finally was. After the first two days of getting tons and tons of calls from friends and family I just started to block their numbers. I felt bad for blocking them all out but if I told them were I was they would drag me back home. In a month I was planing on sending a letter telling my family I was fine. I knew my mother must be freaking out but for once I couldn't worry about what they wanted. I had to do what I wanted.
I followed the van into a RV camping site and parked next to them. The rain was beginning to slow but the site was very muddy. I opened my duffle bag and grabbed a sweatshirt. I got out of the car into the cold and walked over to the van. The side door opened and Dylan jumped out with a warm smile. I was wearing pants and my sweatshirt still needed something heavier, but Dylan was wearing nothing more than a shirt and shorts.
"Hey! How was your drive?" She asked letting the rain fall on her face.
"It was beautiful. I've come to realize I really enjoy driving for long periods of time." I like the quiet and the time to think. And most importantly the freedom. The freedom to go anywhere anytime.
"Well, the concert starts in about an hour. So I thought you could jump into the van and we could head over to the field together." She said sitting down in the van.
"Alright sounds good." I climbed in and I instantly questioned if it was a good idea. I was about to climb into a van full of strangers but I had been traveling with them for the last couple days and they seemed fine. I sat down next to Carmen and smiled at her. Her freckled face light up when she saw me smile. She had bright green eyes and small lips. Her brown hair was very curly and pulled back into a tight bun. She smiled and laid back on the pillows that lined the van. The vans floor was covered in pillows and blankets. The walls had pictures, post cards, and other things from their many travels.
We drove for about twenty minutes and then pulled to the side to the road. For a second I truly believed I was going to be murdered but then I realized we had just arrived to the venue. The rain had stopped and the sun had gone down. I climbed out of the van and all I saw was trees.
"This is where the concert is?" I asked.
"Yeah just through the trees." Dylan said jumping out besides me. "We can start walking, if you want?" She said nodding towards the thick trees.
"Shouldn't we wait for the rest?"
"Nah, we're good." She started walking into the the thick wood. "Come on, aren't you coming?" She asked still heading forward. I followed her, the trees grew thicker as we went. In about five minutes we made it through the trees, and to my surprise there was a huge wild flower clearing. It was lit up by multiple lanterns that sat on the ground and that hung from a few the trees. There was a stool and surrounding it was pillows, couch cushions, and blankets. There was a few people already sitting on the cushions all rapped in blankets and scarves. It was beautiful, the thing. It just seemed warm and peaceful. Different then anything I've ever experienced.
"Let's go find Ryan." She grabbed my hand with her surprisingly warm hand and began to pull me forward.
"Who?" I asked looking up around for the person she spoke of.
"The guy that's singing tonight." She pulled me to the cushions and began to ask the few people who sat there if they'd seen Ryan. Someone told her that he had gone into the trees to do some voice exercises and to smoke a cigarette. She asked if they knew when he would be done and they responded with pointing behind us.
"Are you looking for me?" Said a soft voice behind us.
"Ryan!" Dylan yelled with excitement and turned towards the voice. I turned around and stood behind me was a petite boy with brown hair that hung in his face, a flowery scarf around his neck, a white tank top, and ripped skinny jeans. He held a lit cigarette in his hand and he wore round women's sunglasses even though it was dark out.
"Hey, I'm Ryan Ross." Ryan said introducing himself to me and ignoring Dylan's excitement. He took off his sunglasses, his eyes were a dark deep brown. He seemed wise and very sweet. His smile lit a fire in me and his eyes made the fire grow.
"I'm Brendon Urie." I said charmingly.
"Confident one here, huh Dylan?" He elbowed Dylan but didn't take his eyes off me. I found it odd he said that since I felt incredible insecure around him. I was confused why I felt this way around him, I didn't even feel this way around girls I liked.
"Yeah he's super fun! He meet him in North Carolina and brought him down here to see you." Dylan smiled and wrapped her arms around mine. I suddenly wanted to pull away. For some reason I didn't want Ryan to think I liked her.
"Oh two little love birds, huh? Does he fuck well Dylan?" Ryan still had his eyed locked with mine. Dylan and I both laughed a little.
"Ryan you dirty dog!" Dylan said, she seemed to be trying to impress Ryan. Everything was over done, her hand movements, her laughs, and even the way she said his name: Rrryyaaan. It wasn't like she had a crush on him but like she just wanted him to think she was cool, like he was cool.
"We're not dating." I blurted out. "I don't like her." I instant felt bad. But for some reason I needed Ryan to know I was single. Dylan pulled her arms away and seemed a little hurt. Silence fell between us and I needed something to say. So I blurted the first thing that came to mind: "Do you Ryan?"
"Does he what Brendon?" Dylan asked knowing what I meant.
"Do you fuck well?"
"Brendon maybe we should let Ryan finish getting ready." Ryan began to laugh and put his sunglasses back on.
"It's okay Dylan. I've been told I do Brendon." Ryan smiled and walked to his stool. Dylan looked at me and then sat down on a cushion. I sat down next to her and notice the rest of her friends had made it out there. Ryan picked up his guitar and started to play a soft song. He began to sing and the not beautiful voice came out. It was soft and loving, it made me feel so safe. He began to sing a song of love, the song was the most beautiful song I had ever heard. I had never heard a song so full of love. Ryan took his sunglasses off and his eyes met mine as he continued to sing. I felt my world melt away, all my worries about home and my future all that mattered was him and me. He seemed to light my world up. I stopped myself. I was only suppose to feel this way about girls. It must be the song. I must just be lonely. I had to get the feeling to go away. I grabbed Dylan and kissed her hard. I pulled away and she smiled back at me. I felt nothing but I was used to that. I looked up and saw that Ryan had finished and a girl was going up next.
For the rest of the night Dylan was all over me and kept grabbing at me. I kept getting distracted by Ryan though. When he would laugh or talk I would have to look at him. I would always catch him smiling, he had a nice smile. But I told myself I was just jealous of his situation. He got to travel around singing in fields and doing whatever else he liked. That's all I was just jealous of him. I didn't have feelings for him at all.