A Guide to Eating Disorders

Things Never to Say to a Person With an Eating Disorder

This is a list of things that you probably shouldn't say to anyone wih an eating disorder. Even if you mean well, the way things are interpreted can change your meaning, and if you don't have one, you certainly don't understand how they translate it. Several are also condescending or negative. They are in no particular order.

"But you don't look like you have an eating disorder..."

"I can really tell you lost that weight--you look so much better."

"I can really tell you lost that weight--you look so much worse."

"Omigosh, I swear I have an eating disorder--I lost __ kilograms this week."

"So-and-so totally has an eating disorder. They're so pathetic and an attention hogger."

"Your eating disorder is made up."

"You're exaggerating the fact that you have an eating disorder to make people feel sympathetic."

"Eating disorders are choices, not mental illnesses."

"The only eating disorders that exist are anorexia and bulimia."

"Get over yourself. Recovery is easy, and besides, you're wasting food."

"Your eating disorder is irrelevant."

"You're doing this on purpose and for attention."

"You're lucky you have an eating disorder--I wish losing weight was so easy for me."

"I want an eating disorder too."

"Are you sure you want to eat that? It's very _____"

"But you're not a Caucasian teenage female..."

"Well, you're a Caucasian teenage female--it was bound to happen at some point."

"You need to gain some weight."

"You need to lose some weight."

"You look perfect the way you are. Never change."

"Oh, don't worry. I binge, like, all the time."

"Oh, don't worry. I diet as well."

"You eat so healthily, I swear, I'd trade both my hands for being able to do that."

"OMG, you throw up your food? You're so gross."

“You look really different. Are you relapsing?”

“All you have to do is eat and exercise normally.”

“Do you have any weight loss advice?”

"Wow, you've gained so much weight. You look great!”

“Wow! You've lost so much weight.”

“I wish I had your control and discipline.”

“Don’t you know you’re hurting yourself?”

“You look so healthy.”

“Maybe if you just exercise more you won’t want to restrict.”

“You don’t look sick.”

“I barely ate once for a week, so I know what you are going through.”

"Why is it taking so long for you to get over this?"

"Do you know how hard you having an eating disorder is for me to deal with?"

"You just need a little self-control."

"Just don’t binge, it’s simple”

“You're wasting food. There are people that need that and you're throwing it away/throwing it up."

"Wow, that's a LOT of calories. Are you sure you want to eat that?

"You should be thankful you have food to eat. Think of all thr hungry, homeless people."

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Bottom line is, don't;

~~Focus too much on weight/body size/healthiness

This, while it can be well-meaning, is often interpreted as something that the person will take as negative.

~~Focus too much on food, calories, fat, etc.

This is something sensitive and gets them thinking too much about specifics.

~~Normalize the ED

Saying things like, "I can totally relate," especially when you can't makes them feel invalidated and as though they don't deserve to feel this way.

~~Downplay the ED

If you say you want to have the disorder, don't think it's a mental illness, or invalidate it some other way, this will make it seem like it doesn't matter or is the result of attention-seeking.

If you have ever experienced any of these, comment on it, or let me know if you have anything you think should be added. This is what I could think of on the spot, but I'm open to suggestions.