Underestimate Me ⇝ anakin skywalker x reader {book 1}

62.

Anakin pulled me into a side room. It was small and dusty, honestly I think it might be a closet, but I didn't care. Even as the ship began to shake from moving our battle in the air.

"Hey, what's the matter with you? You're shaking. This isn't you, what's wrong?" Anakin asked me quickly, he held my hands steady. I was shaking badly, I couldn't steady my breathing. I felt suddenly very sad, I was upset at myself. I was overwhelmed with everything.

"I.. I don't know.." I muttered. Liar, I did know, I just couldn't say it.

"You've seen men die before? What's different now?" He asked.

"I could've stopped it." I said, "He made it so far, Anakin. It's my fault."

"That's nonsense, no you couldn't have. It's not your fault the door didn't close quick enough. You were not the one to pull the blasters trigger." He smiled, kissing my forehead. "If the blame is on anyone it's on me for making you come here to get me."

He was right, I knew it wasn't my fault. But I also knew Echo. He was a good soldier. I wish I could've helped him. I felt like it was my fault that I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help these men from dying. Too many of them were.

I knew it was the hormones. But even in here it was not the right place to tell him. I had to take control of myself. We needed to get home.

"I just want to go home." I said.

"Then let's go home, okay? I'll get you home and we'll talk everything out in our room." He kissed my cheek. I hugged his neck, and laid a kiss there. He was sweaty but so was I, so I didn't care.

I thought about saying it then but I couldn't. Having him in my arms gave me a sense of peace. For only a moment I felt like a normal girl, who loved a normal boy, and wanted a normal family with him.

But I was not a normal girl. This was not a normal life I was living. Instead everything I worked for was going to break apart in only a few months. I wanted this child but a part of me didn't because of all that I dreamt of in the temple. I wanted to be Jedi Master, I wanted to achieve a seat on the Jedi council. I wanted to achieve amazing things.

I wanted Anakin to achieve amazing things. He's the one who's been destined for it. He deserves happiness. I held him so tight. Now I didn't care if I was playing a small role in his life. In this moment all I wanted to be was apart of Anakin's story. I wanted him to be happy. And I'll tell him my secret when we return and he'll be the one to decide what to do. I trust him.

He let go and we walked out of the closet. Obi-Wan was running down the hall and saw us leave it.

"I don't even want to know." He motioned to the closet. Anakin and I were about to defend ourselves, but Obi-Wan held up a hand, "I don't care, just get on the back cannons, now! If those stay unmanned we'll lose our stabilizers and be stuck here!"

Anakin and I obeyed our orders and went to the back cannons. We had 8 droid fighters on our hands. Anakin and I made it a game to who could blast the most. It came down to me at four and him at three. We fought over the last one until I hit it.

"That was totally me!" Anakin protested.

"Yeah right! I shot that one! You're just a sore loser and I'm the queen of shooting down droid fighters." I playfully boasted into my headset.

"Well your highness, that was only the first wave, you ready for a second one?" He asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" I laughed.