Underestimate Me ⇝ anakin skywalker x reader {book 1}

71.

I knocked on Master Yoda's door before entering. Anakin told me that Master Yoda was the best person to go to in this case.

"Master Yoda?" I entered his dark room.

"Sit." He said, opening his eyes. I sat down and folded my arms on the circular cushion across from him, "Problems, you have, yes?"

"Yes." I nod once. Keeping my straight posture.

"Troubling you deeply, they are?" Yoda stared at me, "Holding you back, they are."

"Yes." I swallowed, "I believe I'm beginning to have... premonitions."

"Premonitions?" He questioned, "These 'Premonitions' you have..."

"They are of pain, suffering, death, and loss." I winced at my own words.

"Yourself, you speak of? Or someone you know?" Yoda narrows his eyes. Every time I meet with him its like having a hand reach into your thoughts and you don't even know.

"Someone." I maintain my reserve.

"Someone you care about?" He asks me, the images graze my eyes in a blink but soon it clears.

"Yes." I answer simply.

"Careful, you must be when sensing the future, (Y/N)." He warns me, "The fear of loss, is the path to the dark side."

"I cannot let these visions come true, Master Yoda. I won't." I told him.

"Death is a natural part of life." His croak of a voice begins his lecture, "Rejoice for those around you who transform into the living force. Warn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment is the seed to jealousy, the shadow of greed that is. "

His words slightly angered me. Miss them, do not? How can we not mourn the life of anyone? Not only the people close to use but I find it utterly sickening to never mourn or miss anyone who dies, who cease to exist. They had a life filled with many important life events and important details, by ignoring their existence seems worse than to mourn them?

"What must I do, then, Master Yoda?" I asked, keeping my calm mask on 100%.

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." He responded. I hung my head, this was all they could give me? I'm having visions of my child dying, if I could do anything to save my family I should do it.

"How could I do that? You're advising me to sit idly by as I was someone I lo- I know die? I should just watch them die, knowing full well I could've done something?" My calmness was faltering, "If we knew the Jedi were going to lose this war, would we also sit down and allow it to happen?"

"The future is fragile. Beware of your feelings, young (Y/L/N). Cloud your wisdom, they do." He tries to calm me, "Written it's path, the force has. Warning you, it is. To help ease your mind, it is."

"Thank you, Master Yoda." I swallowed. I found it hard to breathe, "I will meditate on this, now."

I left the room. Why did I do that? I just revealed I'm having doubts about the Jedi. I shouldn't have done that at all. I have to meet with the council later anyway. Now when I say the Chancellor has made me his personal representative Yoda will be like get the hell outta here.

"(Y/N)! Wait up!" I heard Anakin behind me as I left the room. He was the one who encouraged me to go talk to Yoda, "How'd it go?" He asked.

"Fine." I said, keeping my focus forward as we walk back to his chambers.

"Fine?" He questioned, "Come on, you need to give me more than just fine."

"It didn't go as expected." I said.

"You didn't yell at him did you?" Anakin asked, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

"No, of course not." I clenched my jaw, "I only expressed my feelings a little." I said.

"Feelings of.." He urged me to continue. We got into the elevator alone.

"My feelings of disapproval of his advice." I crossed my arms.

"(Y/N).. You can't do that." Anakin rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Why not?" I asked the question thats been bothering me ever since Caleb asked me that in his training. "Why can't we question the council's decisions? And don't answer me with because they're the council."

"The council are the Jedi most powerful and knowledgable of the force. They know what's best for the Order." He tells me, the doors open and I walk next to him in silence as we go to his room.

I sat on his bed and held my head. This whole thing was so confusing. I hadn't even told Anakin about what the Chancellor wanted me to do.

"I guess I'll just need to find out myself." I said.

"What do you mean?" He asked, shutting the door and leaning on the wall next to it.

"I mean, the Chancellor has made me his personal representative on the Jedi council." I said. I looked down, "I don't know how the council will react. Especially Master Yoda now that I lost my temper back then. But he told me I can't miss you! Well not you-you but that the people I dreamt suffering shouldn't be warned. And I just got so angry that he said that. It's just unreasonable. It's been so hard for me to maintain my temper."

"These are stressful times." He said, coming to kneel in front of me, "But I'm proud of you. That's an incredible honor. Just please be careful."

"How long is it going to take for us to be honest with each other?" I ask.

"What?" His face falters. As much as I wanted to live in out happy moment there were also real issues that needed to be solved.

"I love you, Anakin. With all of my being and every fiber of my body. You keep me grounded, we balance each other. And I need you." I said, grabbing his hands. He smiled but then dropped it.

"There's a but isn't there?" He suggested. I nodded.

"We have real issues. When are we going to talk about them? I'm having dreams of you dying, Anakin. I know I can't be the only one questioning the council and their decisions." I pleaded. I wanted not to be alone. I didn't want our views keeping this strange wall between us. Anakin was in denial, he's always questioned the judgement of the council.

"Don't you think I know that? I know that we have issues. But I also know that I love you and nothing will come between that. I know that the Jedi are our best bets of staying safe." He says.

"But for how long?" I ask, "When they hear about this baby I'll have no choice but to leave the Jedi Order. You do know this, don't you? I'll be in front of the council every day. They'll have to find out, and I'll be lying to them every day. I don't want to talk to any of them anymore. I don't want them brought into anything we do anymore. I just want us. There's no good option for us anymore." I said. I felt a tear come up, I felt hopeless. I wanted to have this baby. I wanted Anakin to be happy. I wanted to be a Jedi. I wanted to protect our family.

"We're going to be okay. This baby has been a blessing. I don't care if they tell us we can't be apart of the Order, because I'm with you. I want us to keep our heads screwed on right. We don't need anyone's help, okay? The force will show us the path we're meant to be on. Before I die, which won't happen anytime soon, there will be balance to the universe, I promise you." Anakin tells me. I hug him, he's right. He brings balance to my head. I feel my pain seep out of my breath in his chest. I need him. I don't care what Master Yoda says, I will do whatever I can to make sure he won't leave me. That our children will live.

He won't die.

He can't die.