Underestimate Me ⇝ anakin skywalker x reader {book 1}

63.

  I didn't want to be in the temple. Instead of walking around with pride, I walked around with shame. I felt my secret in my belly growing. I felt dizzy and nauseous. I nearily avoided speaking with anyone. I needed to lay down.

I questioned if my mother felt this way when she worked. I thought of my mother. My parents. I went to Anakin's room, he wasn't home yet from his report to the council and the Chancellor. So I just laid on his bed and thought.

I wondered where my father was. I wondered if he stayed on Alderaan. I wondered what he must think of me, if he'd heard of me. I wondered what would have happened if I stayed with him. I don't remember much from then. My memories of when I was younger were fading almost. I wanted to go back to my time of innocence. When having others make my choices didn't bother me.

I thought of my mother. She was a woman of honorable respect. I was slowly remembering what I for so long wanted to forget. If I had stayed there I would've been forced to be a politician. I would've been forced to be prim and proper constantly, which I knew was never my style. I would've much rather preferred even my fathers route. At least with my fathers route I could hit something.

When I have this child I will make sure they have the choices they deserve. They don't have to be a Jedi, but I will teach them how to handle themselves, because between both Anakin and I the force will be so strong with them. But I won't force them into anything. I won't make them follow in mine or Anakin's footsteps or set unrealistic expectations on them.

Anakin then entered the room. When he saw me, he jumped a little.

"Sorry, I let myself in." I explained.

"No complaining here. Why would I ever complain about coming home to a beautiful woman in my bed?" He winked.

"Watch yourself, buddy." I rolled my eyes.

"I mean, why would I ever complain about having my beautiful wife lying in bed when I come home." He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"That's better." I said, "I love hearing you call me that." I smiled at this man that made my heart sing. I felt my body begin to feel like there was oxygen running through it again.

"Anything for my wife." He kissed me then assumed began getting comfortable.

"So what is on your mind?" He asked me, his head laying on my stomach.

"My parents." I admitted, I started playing with his hair.

"You never really talk about them." He pointed out.

"No, I don't. I don't really remember much before my mother died and I haven't seen my father since I left for the temple." I explained.

"Maybe you should go see him?" He suggested.

"I would but, I would have no idea where he is. He might not even be on Alderaan anymore." I said.

"We could find him?" He suggested, "You helped me find my mother, I would be returning a favor. Is there anyone I could ask to find him?" He sat up.

"That's very sweet, honestly Anakin you've repaid me three times over with the amount of love you give me. The only person maybe would be Senator Organa, he was my mothers brother." I said first, then I changed my mind, "But actually, I couldn't. I'm not ready." I said.

"Are you afraid?" He asked me.

"It's not that I'm afraid. I'm a Jedi, fear isn't in my vocabulary. It's just that.." I trailed off, I couldn't find the word for it.