Tittle: The mechanic
Author: tenisstar1027
Genre: Science Fiction
My review:
Okay so to start off I really adore the revised prophecy with the six different lines. I think it gives a better insight of the prophecy.
I get wanting to get the readers opinions on different things, especially if you aren't to sure, but sometimes it's better to take control, take the risk, and just go for it. So rather than adding these extra chapters that are authors notes asking for opinions, if you feel it's right then jus do it. If people respond negatively then you can always go back and revise it but sometimes you just have to go for it.
When you add all of these extra chapters it really takes away from the story, and you have a really nice story going here. It was like I couldn't get into the story because in between chapters you were giving us these authors notes.
Now onto the actual story, its building rather nicely. I adore the idea behind this and where you are headed. Its totally unique. One of the main things I noticed is you don't go into to much detail. My biggest example would be in Chapter 4. It was like the main character made her decision rather abruptly as if her life didn't depend on it. I wanted a little more detail and suspense right there.
Details are crucial to any story so don't be afraid to do that and really build the scene for the readers. I think the plot to this story is great and though there are only a few chapters I was hooked. I'll definitely be waiting for you updates.
