Confessions of an in Love Blogger (Complete)

Chapter 10: Time Heals All Wounds...Not!!

Confession 94: I have been through hell and back. Yet I still find the will to get up. I'm a fighter. Quote of the day: "I feel compelled to say fuck you fuck you to those of you who have absolutely no regard for me as a person. You have raped me harder than you'll ever know. So again I say fuck you although this phrase has totally lost its meaning. FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU."

- Kurt Cobain

"Cher Seigneur, s'il vous plaît laisser tirer par ce biais. Bébé, tu dois te réveiller. (Dear lord, please let her pull through this. Baby you have to wake up.)" I looked to my left to see Zoe holding my hand. Everything hurt to move. "Lorenzoe." I called out. I was scared. He looked at me and kissed my forehead. "It's okay. I'm here." I looked around the sterile room only being seperated from others that seemed to be the outside world by a glass door and windows. "Your in ICU. Been here 5 days. They are releasing you in a couple of hours." I sat up to see stitches covering my arm and leg. I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew what happened. I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

*2 Weeks Later*

All I have been hearing back in forth is do you need,are you okay,what's the matter,how are you feeling. I was so tired of it. Suggested a psychiatrist. I was in my own thoughts when I came back to reality. I was scratching around the stitches that were itching like crazy. "Stop scratching. They'll scar up and become ugly." I rolled my eyes. "Mama, estoy bien. Sólo pican un poco. (Mama I'm fine. They just itch a little.)" I was past irritated. I was irritated by these damn stitches and everyone making a fuss over me. My mother started popping my hand for scratching. "LaiLanni deja de rascarse. Su no va a quedar bien después. (LaiLanni stop scratching. Its not gonna look good afterwards.)" I sighed heavily and stood up. "Por última vez, mamá está bien. Ojalá que todos dejaran de quejarse mierda sobre mí! (For the last time mama it's fine. I wish everyone would stop fucking fussing over me!)" I walked up the stairs and slammed my room door plopping down on the bed. I laid back on the bed and took a deep breath.

"Overwhelmed?" I already knew who it was. I just nodded. I felt the bed dip. He laid beside me and pulled me close. I sighed. He ran his fingers through my hair. "They're just concerned. Give them time to adjust." I sat up. "I'm just tired of everyone walking on eggshells around me like I'm fine china or something." I ran a hand through my hair and got up and went to the bathroom. "Lai don't be like this." Zoe said following me. "I just need space Zoe. I can't do that with all of them here. It's like I'm a inmate or something." He sighed and massage my shoulders. "I understand." I scoffed and turned around. "And what is it that you could possibly understand?"" I folded my arms over my chest. He looked at me and smirked. He stepped closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer. "I-kiss- understand that-kiss-you-kiss-need-kiss-some-kiss-attention." I raised my eyebrow. "Is that right?" He smiled and kissed my lips again. I wrapped my arms around hid neck deepining the kiss. "Does that answer your question?" he asked after pulling away from me.

I stepped back and bit my lip as I put my hair into a bun on top of my head. I stripped out of my tank top and stepped out of my tights and turned on the shower. I stepped out of my underwear and unclasped my bra. I covered my chest and looked over my shoulder at Zoe. I saw the bulge in his pants. I told him to come here. He started rushing out of his clothes almost falling causing me to laugh.

I noticed he was tangled and on the floor. I was giggling so hard and instantly felt bad so I walked over to help. "Aw baby. Are you ok?" I asked while helping him out of his shirt. He looked at me with a lop sided grin. "Guess I'm a little excited." He said with a chuckle. "It's okay baby." I said still giggling. He grabbed my face and pecked my lips while I was still laughing. He sat back and caressed the side of my face. I stopped laughing and looked in his eyes. "You look so beautiful." I looked away. "No I don't I'm all scared up." He turned my face back towards him. "Your beautiful. Battle wounds only.make us stronger and thats what you are." I sniffed and wiped the few stray tears away. I kissed him passionately. We stood as he carried me to the shower. Still in the kiss he held me. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He placed me against the wall as the water fell over us. Things were getting heated. *Knock knock*

" Lai'Lanni miel. (Lai'Lanni honey.)" I heard my mothers voice. I leaned my head back and sighed. She knocked again. "Can't we just ignore her." I asked. He chuckled and sat me down. I grabbed a towel and walked to the door. "Yes MaMa?" I said opening the door. " Yo y tu padre nos vamos al hotel. Nos vemos mañana antes de irnos. (Me and your father are going to the hotel. We will see you tomorrow before we leave.)" I nodded and kissed her cheek. "Te amo MaMa. Tell papi i lo aman demasiado.(I love you mama. Tell papi i love him too.)" She nodded and left. I sighed and sat on the bed. Zoe came and plopped down next to me causing me to burst out laughing. "Alone at last." I sighed and cuddled under him. "Finally." I replyed as he ran his hands through my hair. For once in a long time I was finally content. I was happy. I just had this unnerving feeling that it just wouldn't last.