Confessions of an in Love Blogger (Complete)

Chapter 9: Numb

Confession 94: When you feel you have nothing left your pride and dignity are always there. Hold your head up high and your middle fingers higher to those who doubt you and fear is all in your head. "Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself." - J.K. Rowling

I could hear beeping. All I wanted was for it to stop. It was driving me completely insane. I felt completely sore and groggy. My throat was on fire. I really can't deal with that damn beeping. I gasp for air and sit up. "Oh my god Lai we we're so scared." I looked at Airec. I looked around the room and realized where I was. I instantly broke down crying. "Do you remember what happened? When Lorenzoe brought you in...Honey you were barely breathing." I nodded. "What happened?" He asked as he rubbed my back and held me as I sobbed. "He found me." I wiped my face and took a deep breath. "I have to get out of here before he comes back." I snatched the oxygen from my nose and started to remove my IV. "Hold on wait. Lai honey who are you talking about!?" I kept fighting to get the tape off. "I have to go!"

A nurse walked in with Zoe right behind her. "Miss you have to calm down before you go into shock." the nurse said but I was still panicking. "He is going to kill me! Just please! Please let me go!" I screamed. Zoe walked over to me and held my face as I cried. "Who is gonna kill you?" He asked calmly. I rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand. I knew I looked like a crazy person but my life was more important than what they thought. "Le'Land." I looked into Lorenzoe's eyes. "He's out. He came to see me after the movies. Well he was already there so I called you. He attacked me and I blacked out after that. He's coming back to finish what he started I just know it."

Zoe kissed me and it took my breath. "Your safe. No one is going to harm you. I'll come back. My brother's a cop so I'll have him patrol the area with a few others. Just get some rest and I'll be here when you wake up." I nodded and let him help me back in the bed. The nurse fixed my IV and I laid there and let sleep take over me the whole while my eyes never left Zoe's face.

-3 hours later-

"Lai' ! Lai'Lanni wake up. Come on honey you gotta wake up." I sat up screaming. "I'm here. Ssssh. Breath baby. It was just a dream." I sighed and hugged Rocqi like she was my life line. "It felt so real. I just can't believe he found me Rocqi. How the hell did he find me? I did everything so he wouldn't. I just don't understand how." I wiped away the tears that were falling. "I don't know but I damn sure know that I am not letting you stay in that place alone. I can't have him hurt you again." I sat back and put my arm over my face. "You don't understand. When he wants something no one or nothing can stop him. He will stop at nothing until he gets what he wants. Even if it means peoples live in the process. I couldn't risk you and Mark' lives let alone the twins. I just can't and I won't." I sighed and sat up and looked at her. "I thank you so much. I love you. Your not just my best friend. Your my sister. But I just can't risk it. This is something I have to do on my own." I studied her face.

She stood and shook her head. "Tu lo tienes terco!(Your so got damn stubborn!)" I saw the tears forming in her eyes. Just as I was about to speak Zoe walked in. "Rocqi I'm sorry." She stopped and looked at. "Me niego a sentarse y esperar a escuchar que mi mejor amigo está muerto. (I refuse to sit back and wait to hear that my best friend is dead.) I won't. I just can't." After that she walked out the door. I wiped the tears that was continuously falling. I hugged my legs close to my chest and laid my head on my knees looking out the window. I felt the bed dip. I wiped my face again and sniffed. "Wanna tell me what that was all about?" I shook my head. I turned to see Zoe in his scrubs and lab coat. "When can I go home?" I asked changing the subject.

He sighed. "I'll talk to the nurse and see but I don't want you there by yourself." I sighed."I'm fine. Just a little busted and bruised but I'm fine." He stood. "Your not fine Lai'Lanni. You were almost killed! Your ex-husband tried to kill you. What if he comes back and succeeds?!" I flinched at him shouting. I scoffed. "What are you going to do Lorenzoe? Save me?" I waited for him to respond and he just stared at me. "No one can save me from him okay. I don't need someody else dying because off me. You can't save me so stop trying." I turned looked down not wanting to look him in his eyes because I know I broke his heart. I felt mine breaking just as much. "Your still not going back to that damn house alone." All I heard was him walk away and slamming the door.

I woke up and went to the bathroom. "I told you princess. You can't get away from me." I stayed against the wall. He walked up to me. He placed his hand on the wall beside my head. "What do you want Le'Land?" I asked with a shakey breath. "You." I looked in his eyes. They were blank. Just an empty pit. Like his soul was completely black.

"Why?" He chuckled and stood up a little bit. "See that's what you don't get. I don't have to answer to you. You answer to me!" I jumped. "I'm not your damn slave. I was your wife. The mother of the child you killed !" He slapped me.

I refused to cry in front of him. "I really did love you Lai. But then you just started pissing me off. You acted as if you couldn't do the little simple things I asked you to. So I started discipling you. Thought you would've known by now not to disobey me but I guess I was wrong." I looked at him. "You don't hit the people you love." I said through my teeth.

He slapped me again and I could feel my jaw starting to swell. I spit the blood out. He grabbed me by my hair and threw on the floor causing me to hit my head on the table. I winced in pain and held my now bleeding head. I pinned my arms above my head and took a knife out of his pocket. "I see I still have to teach you about your damn mouth after all these years. "Fuck you Le'Land. You don't love me. All you ever did was caused me pain."

I was calm. He cut a piece of the sheet and gagged me. Still pinning my arms above me head he place the knife on the inside of my left thigh and pressed into my skin pulling it upwards slowly. I wimpered in pain unable to scream. He the cut across my left breast and slit my right wrist.

He got up, kicked me in my side and walked away. I started to loose consious. All I saw was the lights come on and Zoe saying something to me. I placed my hand on the side of his face. Soon everything went black.