Four Best Friends 2: A New Perspective

Chapter 19 - Secret's Diary

Chapter 19 - Secret's Diary

It's been three days since then. Wolfie hasn't been in the best shape lately. He acts, and succeeds, to act all happy when around other human beings, we've been pampering him lately, but when he thinks he's alone he cries. He cries a lot. He cries small, oval shaped, tears that beg for forgiveness.

Foxy and I would try to take him out and let him have a fun time, but once he got back to his house, he immediately looked droopy. By now, everyone knew about Secret, and everyone felt sorry for Wolfie. How would you feel if your boyfriend or best friend was arrested all of a sudden?

The case was scheduled to be a couple weeks from now. Even though Secret was being trailed for manslaughter, he was still a minor. The case wasn't receiving that big of a media presence either.

I felt kind of embarrassed that I had to ask Foxy what the difference between manslaughter and murder was. Apparently manslaughter is when you intend to hurt someone, but you don't intend to kill them. They just happen to die. I can't imagine Secret killing anyone though. He's such a small, harmless, little creature.

On the other hand, Wolfie still cried. I stayed with him most days and tried to comfort him. His mother was quite open to the idea. Saying something about how he needs more women in his life.

I was staying with Wolfie one night, staring outside his windows at the stars.

"They're so free..." He whispered, his head in his lap. Well, I was staring at the stars. Wolfie pretended to.

"Secret will be free soon, Wolfie." I said and patted him on the back. His response was a hiccup.

We sat like that for a little while more before anything else. The feint light that illuminated the city wasn't enough to fill the room so part of it was darkened. Wolfie preferred to have the lights off now.

Every once in a while his mother would come by and bring us some snacks. Chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and even drinks like hot chocolate. Wolfie always said thank you and smiled a mundane version of his regular smile. My heart was rather slow for the situation at hand it seemed. It was like I was calm...

If I were in Secret's position, what would I be thinking? I racked my brain for answers but couldn't come up with much. Secret seems strong enough with Wolfie. I'm not sure on his own though. He's probably scared out of his mind.

"Mayb-"

"Can I tell you something?" He interrupted me but this was the rare time that he talked so I had to pamper him.

"Of course you can, Wolfie."

"Just a sec then."

He put his arms on the ground and slowly pushed himself up. He stumbled a bit but finally got himself steady. Then he walked out the door.

"I wonder where he's going..." I whispered and sighed. Ugh.... Boys are so complicated, aren't they? He didn't even tell me where he was going. My mind was clouded. I couldn't think of much right now.

I grabbed the sides of my head with both hands and slapped my head hard.

"Begone rain!" I yelled which was followed by a broken laugh.

In the doorway was Wolfie, and he was laughing. Somewhat. Somewhat laughing. It was chipped in different places and it fell apart constantly. If his laugh was a sheet of music then I'm sure that John Coltrane wouldn't be able to read it.

A couple minutes later he came back with a dark green spiral notebook. The cover was perfectly intact as if it was never even opened. The only way that I could tell was when Wolfie opened to the first page and it was filled all the way with writing. Someone was persistent in writing in here it seems. He silently flipped through the pages before talking. The crisp sound of the pages flipping filled the empty room.

"It's Secret's." He whispered and stopped on a particular page. "I was thinking that we should read it."

"Would he be fine with that?"

"I think he wants me to read it. He's like that..."

Wolfie looked at me. His eyes dropped by he smiled. It wasn't forced like the other ones and it held something special about it. For the first time, he might actually stay happy.

I shuffled over to him and leaned against his shoulder. At first he was tense but he lightened up after awhile. He was leaning against the side of his bed. A perfect spot for looking out the window across the room.

The page he was looking at was titled Mediocrity.

I hate being Mediocre, yet I'm Mediocre at trying

I'm Mediocre at life; why can't I improve?

I don't like putting in the effort, yet I hate my Mediocrity

Maybe I just hate myself; that's gotta be it.

Wolfie quickly tore out the page and chucked the paper at the wall. It landed in it's own space, secluded from the rest of the room. I reached out to grab it, he should touch Secret's property like that, but I stopped myself as he began to read aloud a different page.

"I'm scared, very scared. I know Wolfie knows why as well. When the day comes I don't want him to do it. I don't want him to-"

This time he threw the whole notebook against the wall and began to cry. I tried to comfort him in anyway possible, but he just kept crying.

"It's time that I don't take Secret's advice." He said and shoved me lightly. I let go off him and just stared at him. His emotions change so fast. Is he bipolar or something?

"Follow me." Wolfie said.